On the Corner of First and Amistad
by Sierra Swan
Summary: Came up w/ the idea when listening to You Found Me by the the fray; NOT based on song. Bella & Edward both have dark pasts: every1 near Bella has died or left her and Edward used to be beaten. They meet in a coffee shop at Washington State, B/E and AH
1. Chapter 1

_"On the Corner of First and Amistad"_

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the songs used.**

**Summary: Bella and Edward are both in college at Washington State in their second year. Both have dark pasts that they seemed to have finally escaped from. Before they died in a car accident when Edward was in high school, his parents used to beat him weekly. (It's not Carlisle and Esme.) He's never been close to anyone besides his brother, Emmett, and he doesn't plan on ever letting that change. Bella was treated like an angel, until her parents died when she was only six. She was adopted by her very loving aunt and uncle until one day they seemingly dropped off the face of the Earth. All her life, everyone close to Bella as died or left her, outside her only friend and roommate, Alice and her friends Jasper and Rosalie. Edward and Bella meet one day in a small coffee shop. Let the chips just fall where they may... **

BPOV

"Another morning, another new beginning. Get up and face the new day." I shook my roommate and only friend, Alice, awake. Her brown eyes snapped open in a glare.

"Ohh, you just enjoy torturing me, don't you!" She growled the accusation under her breath as she stretched. I shrugged and smiled at her as I stood up.

"I admit, I do get a sort of sick pleasure from waking you up early every morning for your early classes."She rolled her eyes at me.

"Whatever, I'm up, I'm up, go about your business." She waltzed past me into the hallway and into her bathroom. I jogged back into my own room and pulled on a pair of dark blue jeans and a white top. I pulled a jacket on over that because of the rain that was sure to be present outside. "What do you want for breakfast?!" Alice called to me from the kitchen as I finished straightening my long brown hair.

"Umm... I think I'm going over to Macy's okay?" I said as I entered the kitchen so we wouldn't have to yell at each other from across the apartment.

She shrugged her thin shoulders "Sure, sounds good to me. I'm going to Jasper's after class so I'll be home a little late."Her face brightened at her news.

"Jasper, your partner for the project and your crush?" She glared at me with an eyebrow raised for a moment.

"Yeah, okay." She giggled and slipped on her shoes before opening the front door. "I'll see you later!"

"Bye."

I finished getting ready before heading out the door and onto the campus of Washington State just a few blocks away. We were really lucky to find an apartment so close. Macy's was a little coffee shop that I had found while exploring the campus last year and it had become a quick part of my routine to visit nearly every day. I knew most of the people that worked there because I went so often and as soon as I walked in, they made the same coffee I always had. There was no point in getting something different, why waste the time?

I also loved how every Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday they had live entertainment. Sometimes a student would try to do standup comedy and it was usually a pretty sad attempt, but most of the time people played music. Some played instrumentals, on any instrument you could think of: violin, cello, piano, flute, trumpet, saxophone, guitar, and a bunch of others. It could get pretty interesting at times. Other people would sing, maybe play piano or guitar with it, and that could be either excellent or horrible. I'd heard people who could win American Idol and I've heard others that could make your ears bleed. At least the horrible ones would be kicked out by the manager most of the time.

As I walked into the shop, bells tinkled softly, announcing my entrance. I ducked my head and walked over to the front counter. I didn't place an order, they were already making my coffee and when one of the waiters, a blond boy by the name of Mike, handed me my coffee I gave him five dollars, letting him keep the change, and made my way to my usual table. I sat next to the small little stage where a piano was in one corner with a microphone attached to it and another microphone sat a few feet away from it with a stool behind it. The piano was sitting just so the person playing it could look right at me, if they just looked forward. If he wasn't turned around talking to one of the employees. I didn't recognize him so he must have been either new to the school or the shop.

When the employee left the stage, the pianist turned on his bench and shuffled through some of the music before picking it up and laying it on top of the piano. I studied him for a moment, sometimes just by looking at them you could tell if they were going to be good or bad. But then again, you're not supposed to judge a book by its cover. He had tousled bronze hair and bright green eyes that seemed almost void of emotion. I watched silently as he stretched his hands for a second before laying them on the ivory keys and closing his eyes. Then a soft melody flowed from his fingertips and filled the room, weaving a tale of its own. I didn't recognize the piece, but that didn't make it sound any less beautiful. I sat up a little straighter and rested my head in palms to prop myself up. The first few songs he played I didn't recognize, but then he played Clair De Lune, and after that he switched to songs with lyrics.

His voice was as amazing as his piano playing. It was clear and velvet but at the same time it had this rough and almost husky edge to it at times. I sipped my coffee very slowly and watched him, entranced.

He finally paused and looked at the audience. Almost everyone was watching him now, instead of just glancing at him like they usually did. He could _definitely_ win American Idol. Then he spoke to us the first time. "Hey guys, I'm Edward Masen. I go here to Washington State and I'm 20 years old. I've played piano for 12 years, since I was eight. If you guys like me, I should be back here on Thursday and Saturday, but it's really your choice." There was applause from everyone, including the employees and he half smiled at us. I clapped softly along with them and kept my eyes locked on him. Edward... Definitely an unusual name but it just seemed to _fit_ him.

He turned back to the piano and for the first time noticed me. We locked eyes and it felt like an electric current flared between us. I was surprised everyone in Macy's didn't turn to look at us. Edward smiled crookedly at me, the first real smile I'd seen from him, and I couldn't help but smile back. "Okay, one more song before I have my fifteen minute break... Anything you guys want to hear that I might know?"

A young man stood up and said something quietly to him. Edward nodded slowly and said "I know that song."

Edward started playing and it took me less than a couple seconds to know what he was play. "This is "You Found Me" by The Fray." He said into the microphone right before he started singing.

"_I found God on the corner of First and Amistad  
Where the West was all but won.  
All alone, smoking his last cigarette  
I said, "Where've you been?" He said, "Ask anything.""_

All I could think was whoa… his voice was perfect for this song. He sounded so much better than The Fray in my opinion. Maybe I was a little biased…

"_Where were you, when everything was falling apart?  
All my days were spent by the telephone that never rang.  
And all I needed was a call that never came  
to the corner of First and Amistad._

_Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me.  
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded.  
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late, you found me, you found me."_

His eyes weren't void of emotion now; I just had no idea _what_ he was feeling. I watched him intently as he continued, trying to decipher is expression.

"_But in the end everyone ends up alone.  
Losing her, the only one who's ever known  
who I am, who I'm not, and who I wanna to be.  
No way to know how long she will be next to me."_

He closed his eyes and his voice was a little softer as he continued. The song was starting to me make me a little sad, and I thought of how _no one_ knew how long someone would be with you. I knew that better than most people.

"_Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me.  
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded.  
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late, you found me, you found me._

_The early morning, the city breaks.  
And I've been calling for years and years and years  
And you never left me no messages,  
You never sent me no letters.  
You got some kind of nerve, taking all I want."_

His voice was stronger and then suddenly dimmed down again as he started the chorus over. I wished I could just listen to him all day...

"_Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me.  
Lying on the floor, where were you? Where were you?_

Lost and insecure, you found me, you found me.  
Lying on the floor, surrounded, surrounded.  
Why'd you have to wait? Where were you? Where were you?  
Just a little late, you found me, you found me.

Why'd you have to wait, to find me, to find me?"

Edward's voice faded out and the piano continued for a second before the whole coffee shop burst into applause. I guess they agreed with my decision that he was just as good, if not better, than The Fray. He stood and bowed slightly before walking down the steps and people returned to their former conversations as he went on break.

I looked out the wall length window next to me and watched students and professors bustle by, either heading to classes, or leaving them and trying to find a way to salvage their day.

I drank the last of my coffee and then pulled a notebook from the bag I had with me. I laid it open to the page I had left off on and pulled a pen out from my bag as well. I tapped the pen as I looked out the window and thought of how to continue the story I had started to write last year.

"Excuse me?" A smooth voice said next to my elbow and I jumped slightly before looking up at, wouldn't you know it, the amazing pianist. I closed my notebook and stowed it back in my bag.

"Yes?"

"I couldn't help notice that you are sitting alone and have been since you walked in." Okay, maybe he'd noticed me before I thought he had. "Would you mind if I joined you for my break? It's only ten more minutes."

I looked him up and down and it wasn't just his smile that was gorgeous. Like before, I noticed that he seemed kind of unemotional—bleak. "You can say no, I wouldn't want to intrude." He added.

"Umm... yeah, sure, you can sit here." I smiled at him.

He sat down in the seat across from me and we just started at each other kind of awkwardly for a second. Then I held my hand out to him. "I'm Bella Swan; I'm also a student here."

"Edward Masen and is that so?" He raised an eyebrow at me and gestured to the jacket I was wearing. It was a Washington State jacket.

"Oh..." I bit my lip and blushed a little, way to make a good first impression; treat him like an idiot! Yeah, that'll work _real _great. "You have an amazing voice, I can't believe you've played piano for so long."I changed the subject quickly.

He shrugged and half smiled "I've always loved playing piano and singing is just something that I've been good at and I like it. My parents made me start it and when I never complained it was always one of my only escapes. Do you play any kind of music?"He seemed truly curious so I answered him honestly.

"Yeah, I sing and I've played guitar since I was fourteen, for five years. I know what you mean about music being an escape. It's always helped me in life when I've been... alone." I smiled at him and he returned it with his crooked smile. I looked down at the table. Why did I tell him that? He didn't care and he didn't know what I meant.

"Hey, Edward!" We both looked over to the counter while Mike pointed at him and then the piano. "Break's over."

Edward rolled his eyes and I chuckled "Yeah, Mike can be a pain."

"You know him?" He nodded his head in Mike's direction.

"I'm a frequent flyer here, so I know most of the employees. Mike took a special interest me and has asked me out on numerous dates." I rolled my eyes; I wish he would just get himself fired already.

"How'd that go?" He stood up but stayed next to the table.

I shrugged. "I've always turned him down."

Edward chuckled softly and then walked up on to the stage before Mike came over. I watched him play a couple songs before I looked at my watch and saw that I'd been here over an hour since it was just past nine. I stood and Edward looked up as the music continued to flow. I walked closer to the stage "I'll see you on Thursday." I smiled and he smiled back crookedly and nodded once. I could see him later tonight if I wanted to also because the musicians play from 8-10 in the morning and from 6-11 at night with a few of fifteen and thirty minute breaks. I knew because I'd played for Macy's a few times. I _could _but I wouldn't. As I walked past the front counter, Mike leaned against, trying too hard to be cool.

"Hey, Bella..."

I didn't let him finish the sentence, just said "Not today, Mike." Would he just give it a rest? I didn't want to go out with him! It is so sad that I could tell when he' was about to ask me out now.

I left Macy's without looking back.

**A/N: Hey, if you haven't already read it go, check out my other story Trust after you review this one. Just in case you haven't noticed, _everyone is human_. I don't think I'll update this for a while now, I'm going to finish Trust first I think, I got the idea for this and I'm writing it as I go so...yeah. Review this and put it on your favorite or alerts so you know when I update and then go read and review Trust as well! Everyone is happy :D.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.**

_I left Macy's without looking back. _

**BPOV**

I walked back to my apartment slowly, I was in no rush. All I had to do was finish typing up a report that I'd already written and then I was free to read or do whatever I wanted for the rest of the day. I got a text from Alice as I opened the front door saying she would be later than she thought. I was pretty sure I didn't want to know why she'd be late. I texted her back say "Don't do anything I wouldn't do!" I would most likely regret that later.

I went into the kitchen and heated up some leftover pizza that I snacked on while finishing my report, which took just a little under an hour. _What to do, what to do_ I thought as I walked through the apartment. I laid down on the couch and picked up the remote to start surfing the channels. The only thing that was on was some boring reality TV and game shows. I groaned "Why isn't anything good _ever_ on?!" I sighed in frustration and flipped the TV off. There was always a good book to read so I went to my room and searched through my bookcase. I settled on a classic, Wuthering Heights, which I hadn't read in a while and took my place back on the couch.

I read for I didn't know how long, getting lost in the plot even though I knew what was going to happen. Suddenly my phone vibrated and I pulled it out "Hey, Alice." I said without looking at the caller ID, she was the only person who ever really called me.

"Hey, why don't you order Chinese and I'll come home in about an hour." Her tinkling voice chirped into the receiver.

"Okay, sounds good. See you soon."

"Okay, bye." She hung up and I hit the end button before dialing a number I'd dialed _way_ too many times.

"China Town here, how can I help you?"

{~}~{~}~{~}~{~}~{~}~{~}~{~}~{~}~{~}

"Action or comedy?" Alice held up two movies in her hand as she took a bite of orange chicken.

"Hm… I say action."

"Mr. and Mrs. Smith it is!" Alice jumped up and popped the DVD into the player and sat down next to me as the previews started.

"So how was your day?"

"I just had a lazy day, which was nice. They had new singer at Macy's."

"Good or bad?"

We'd had this conversation many times but I did usually answer "Phenomenal."

Alice raised her eyebrows at me. "Tell me."

"His name is Edward Masen and he plans to be back this Thursday and Saturday. At first he just played piano and some classics and such, but then he started to sing." I smiled at her as I thought back to this morning. "He had an _amazing_ voice."

"Ohh," Alice wiggled her eyebrows at me suggestively. "is he cute?"

"Gorgeous." I clamped my mouth shut and looked away, feeling my face flush red.

"No, no, no, don't stop talking now!" Alice grabbed my shoulders and turned me to face her on the couch. "What did he look like?!"She almost screamed in my face.

But I wasn't paying attention. I burst into boisterous laughter and put my head into my hands. "What?! I don't see what is so funny here!"

I tried to control my laughter and I looked up at Alice. She didn't even notice! She just looked at me incredulous and irritated. I reached up and picked a noodle off her chin that was hanging down like a small beard still laughing quietly. Alice looked at the noodle and then rolled her eyes. "You are so immature sometimes and we have more important things to talk about right now!" But she smiled through her angry façade.

"Okay, okay." I thought for a moment "He has tousled brown-red hair and green eyes and a velvet voice, but when he sang it got this kind of… rough edge to it." I looked up at the ceiling and bit my lip. "He goes here to Washington State and is 20 years old, oh, and he's played piano for twelve years."

Alice's eyes widened "How do you know so much about him already?"

I shrugged. "He told a little bit about himself to everyone and for his break… he asked if he could sit with me." I half smiled. "Oh! He also has this charming crooked smile." Argh! I cursed at myself mentally. What the heck, I hadn't really thought about him since I was at Macy's and now I wouldn't shut up! For all I knew I'd never see him again… "Look. The movie's started." I changed the subject in my charmingly obvious way.

She raised an eyebrow at me. "Subtle." I shrugged and watched the TV screen intently. I could see Alice glare at me from the corner of my eye before she heaved a sigh and sat back. "I'm going with you to see him on Saturday." She warned and I pretended I didn't hear her.

I fell asleep watching the movie and Alice woke me up, dragged me into my room and let me fall asleep in bed after changing into PJs. "Good night, Bella." She flipped off the light and danced out of my field of vision before I fell asleep again.

I woke up late the next day, because my first class wasn't until noon. Alice was in the kitchen already, making toast. "You want some?" She held up a plate with a piece of toast, two pieces of bacon and an egg on it.

My mouth started to water. "You know I love you, right?" I took the plate from her hands and sat down at the table.

"Yeah, I'm pretty awesome." She finished making her own plate and joined me at the table. "I was about to go in your room and spill a glass of freezing water over your head." She smiled mischievously.

"It wouldn't be the first time."I mumbled around a mouthful of toast.

She just smiled again and took a bite of bacon. "So, you never finished telling me about Edward."

"There's nothing to tell. He's just the musician for Macy's on Thursday and Saturday this week, I'll most likely never see him again." She just rolled her eyes and let it drop.

"Whatever, hurry, eat, get ready, and go to class." She shoved another mouthful of eggs into her mouth.

"That's lady-like." I chuckled and finished my own breakfast quickly.

I got dressed and looked at the clock; I still had plenty of time. I grabbed my bag with my laptop and books and pulled it over my shoulder. After I finished getting ready I hugged Alice and told her I'd be back in a few hours.

I walked out the door in the direction of campus. I hardly ever drove, campus was a few blocks away and even though exercise definitely wasn't the most fun thing in the world, it was good for you. I pulled my IPod Video out, one of the bigger ones, and pressed an earphone into my ear, turning up the volume and pressing 'Shuffle.'

I walked onto the campus and kept walking. The Fine Arts Building was the closest one to my apartment on campus and, even better, I passed right by Macy's. Bells tinkled as I entered the shop and I smiled at Angela, an employee and acquaintance edging towards friendship. She already had my coffee made and I laughed as I took it from her. "Thanks." I handed her a five in exchange and turned to leave. "Aah!" I collided with someone and my coffee covered the ground while I slipped and accidently dragged the unsuspecting customer down with me. I sat up quickly and turned to the person "I am _so_ sorry-" I cut off mid-apology. "Edward… hi." He sat up.

"Hello, Bella." He looked down and stood before helping me up. "I'll get you a new coffee." He said, looking down at the spilt drink.

"Oh!" I turned and looked at Angela. "I'm sorry, Angela, I'm such a klutz!" I flushed red and tripped over my words trying to apologize. "Did I get my drink all over you?" I asked Edward looking him over for wet spots. I buried my face in my hands. "I'm sorry." I muttered to both of them. Well, Angela wasn't going to want to be my friend anymore, and any chances of Edward being a friend were crushed as well. All before noon. Wow, I was such a moron!

"It's fine, Bella." Angela came around the counter and patted me on the back. I looked up sadly. "I'll get Mike to clean it up." I smiled gently.

"I'm fine too, you're okay." Edward assured me as well. "I can get you another coffee."

"No, that'll make me feel worse. I don't need the coffee, it's just part of my routine to come in the morning, and I'm already awake."

"I can just make you another one free." Angela patted my back again.

"It's okay. Could you give Edward his drink free though instead?"

"Yeah, sure. What would you like Edward?" He looked between both of us uncertainly. Angela watched him expectantly and I gave him a don't-argue-with-me look.

"Just a medium of the coffee of the day." He answered absently.

"Okay, I'll get Mike to clean that up." She went behind the counter and I looked around. I couldn't tell you how glad I was that no one else was here.

"I'm still sorry." I looked up at him apologetically.

"No harm done." He smiled crookedly. "So do you come here every morning?"

"Most mornings… What about you? I've never seen you here before."

"I've come a few times but I try to go unnoticed. Do you have class today?" He asked as he fingered the strap of a bag he had around his shoulder.

"Yeah, I'm due in the Fine Arts Building in half an hour or so."

"Really?" He raised an eyebrow at me.

"Yeah, I go for choir. Why?"

"I go to the Fine Arts Building for my piano playing." He smiled crookedly. Angela came back out with a tired looking Mike holding a mop. He started cleaning without really paying attention and Angela gave Edward his drink.

"Have a good day you guys." She smiled warmly and we left Macy's.

"May I walk you to class?" He sounded kind of unsure when he asked and he didn't meet my eyes.

"Yeah, that'd be nice."I smiled at him and he looked at me out of the corner of his eye. He took a sip of coffee and then turned towards me.

"So, um, tell me about yourself." He said slowly. I thought for a minute before replying.

"What do you want to know?"

He shrugged. "What's your favorite color?" I couldn't help laughing.

"What's my favorite color? Brown, I guess."

"How is _brown_ your favorite color? I can understand red or blue or green or something, but _brown_?"

"I don't know… Brown is warm." I looked around at the rain drizzling around us, dampening our hair.

He looked up at the cold, gray sky for a long moment. "Brown _is_ warm."He finally said. "What's your favorite band or artist or whatever you want to call it?"

"That's not fair, there are _way_ too many to choose from!"

"But you do have a favorite." He watched me expectantly.

"The Hush Sound." I answered. I started to ask him a question but he cut me off with another one.

"Your favorite flower?"

"Random much?" I muttered. "Freesia; when do I get to ask the questions?" He just shrugged and asked another question. I shook my head and answered. I sat down next to him on a bench that was beneath a shade and between our two classes. He threw away his coffee and watched me as he thought.

"If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? Right now?"

That was a hard one and I thought for a few minutes as I chewed on my lower lip. "I'm happy here." I finally answered and he just looked away.

"What are you passionate about?"

"Music and writing. What are you passionate about?"I tilted my head to the side curiously.

"Music; I've never really had much else."He stared at his feet and combed his fingers through his already tousled bronze hair.

"What about friends and family?" I asked him; everyone seemed to have one of the two or both.

He turned and looked at me with an emotion I couldn't place and then his eyes turned cold. "I should go." He muttered.

"Wait, no." I took his sleeve in my hand and he stopped standing to leave but sat back down. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I know how that feels." I was taken aback by his sudden change in emotion. He didn't look kind and curious anymore, just stiff and cold as he glared at me.

"No, I don't think you really do." I dropped his sleeve like I'd been shocked. He started to walk away, into the rain.

"Edward!" I called after him and I walked quickly towards him. I planted my feet directly in front of him and wouldn't let him go around. "You can't say that. You don't know me." He stopped and met my eyes, his whole expression softened after a moment.

"You're right, I don't, maybe someday I will though. Good bye, Bella." He walked around me and I just watched him leave, more surprised and confused than before.

Twenty minutes later I was in a class room and listening to a teacher lecturing us about practicing the proper amount of time and warming up our voices a little bit before coming here.

I spent choir and my biology/science class thinking about Edward and what he'd said, how he'd acted. I would prove it to him. There were other people in pain and maybe I knew his pain just as good as he did, if only I knew _why_ he was hurting…

**A/N: Hey, so here's the second chapter ******** I'll continue writing for this story after I write and post the epilogue of my other story Trust! Go read that in the meantime because even though it's done, it doesn't mean I don't want to hear what you guys think! So read and drop a few words here before you go and read Trust! :D Thank you! **


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight; I think I'm just gonna put one of these on my profile… **

_There were other people in pain and maybe I knew his pain just as good as he did, if only I knew why he was hurting…_

**BPOV**

Later that night, I was sitting at the small kitchen table at our apartment and trying to rememorize the periodic table. I'd had to memorize it for high school and parts for junior high but of course I'd forgotten it and needed to teach myself all over again…_joy_. "Guess what?!" Alice called as soon as she walked in the front door, Jasper in tow.

"Hey, Jasper; what's up Alice?" I looked up from my science textbook and snapped it close. Things were coming back to me; I could study some more a little later, after dinner.

"Jazz is coming with us on Saturday morning to get coffee at Macy's and we can see that new singer!" She smiled at her plan and snuck a peek at Jasper who was leaning against the wall and looking between the two of us. Their eyes met and he smiled at her, making her ice blue eyes sparkle. **(in chapter one, I said her eyes were brown but that was a mistake, so keep in mind, from now on she has blue eyes. My bad) **

"Umm, Alice can I talk to you?"

She pulled her eyes away from Jasper and nodded "Yeah. Jasper, you can make yourself at home. The TV remote is on the couch." She followed me to her room, down the hall. "Is something wrong, Bella?" She looked a little worried and we both sat down on her bed.

"No, I'm fine, but I don't think I should go with you guys. One, I don't want to be a third wheel. Two, I ran into Edward this morning." She didn't say anything at first, just raised her eyebrows and motioned with her hands for me to continue. So I told her about my morning, from entering the store to going to class. She listened the entire time without interruption and when I finished she just stared off into space for a few seconds.

"Well… you sounded like you were having fun until you asked about his friends and family. Maybe you should just talk to him on Saturday and make up and forgive each other and all that. You did enjoy yourself up to that point, right?"

Of course I did. "Well, yeah." I shrugged one shoulder and tried to be casual.

"Okay, it's settled then! Now, I have a gorgeous, smart, funny, blond man waiting for me in the other room!" She jumped up and danced out into the hallway. It wasn't long before I heard her animated chatter from the living room. I flopped back on her bed and stared at the ceiling. Make up and forgive him? He was the one who got mad, why would he want to talk to me again? I may never see him again. It wouldn't be the first time someone just vanished from my life. I sat up and put my head in my hands.

"This is stupid." I muttered. So much trouble over one boy I will never see again! I stood up and walked out into the living room. I wasn't going to torture myself over something so unimportant.

"Hey, Jasper." I smiled and sat on the couch opposite of the two love birds. They weren't snuggling with each other or anything, just talking on Alice's part and listening on Jasper's. They still weren't together even though it was painfully obvious they both felt the same.

He smiled in acknowledgement and then continued to listen to Alice's jabbering. That was good. So far, it looked like he'd passed all the tests, Alice would need a good listener.

When asked, Alice tossed me the remote control and I changed it to some comedy show.

The next hour or two was spent going between watching the TV and watching how Alice and Jasper interacted with each other. I decided I really liked Jasper—He was beyond perfect for Alice and she was perfect for him.

After he left Alice moped around for most of the evening. "Quite mourning, you'll see him again tomorrow." I mussed up her hair and smiled while she glared at me.

"Don't touch the hair." She muttered before sniffing and dancing out of the room.

"Quit over-reacting!" I called to her and rolled my eyes. As soon as she saw him again she'd being prancing about, as happy as she could possibly be.

The rest of the evening was boring and completely uneventful. Nothing much ever seemed to happen. Well, except on weekends when Alice would get invited to some wild college party and she would feel the need to drag me to it. After she dressed me up and covered me in make-up like a Barbie doll of course. She lovingly called it her time with 'Bella Barbie.' Can you say "Gag me with a spoon?" I can.

Then I had the rest of the week that I could use to get back at her. If I could find something that could get to her. Jasper might just come in handy…

I shoved away my thoughts and tried to let sleep overtake me. After a while of trying not to think I finally found sleep.

The next day, Alice was awake and gone to her classes before I was out of bed. I took my sweet time getting ready for the day and was sitting in my old Chevy before noon came. I drove slowly, the beast of a car wouldn't allow anything else, and didn't pay attention to where I was going.

Twenty minutes later, I stopped the truck on the side of a road next to an old park. No kids were playing and the swings swung slightly in the gentle breeze and I watched as the metal rusted before my eyes from the soft drizzle sprinkling the city. I cut off the thundering engine and sat in silence besides the tapping of rain on the car.

I slowly got out of the car and walked out onto the grass, looking around at the familiar little run-down park. I sat down on the little park bench and stared wonderingly at my surroundings. I didn't even know I knew where this was. I hadn't been here in years, not since my aunt and uncle had left… I felt a tear slide down my cheek but I didn't brush it away, I already had rain on my face and tears looked no different.

Memories of coming here with them filled my head and I remembered how they used to treat me like I was their own daughter. There had been no warning, no signs that they were unhappy or anything before they left. They had taken me under their wing when my parents, Charlie and Renee, had died when I was six. Then, when I was about sixteen, they just dropped off the face of the Earth. I went to school and when I came home the house looked barren except for my room. They'd just picked up and left. The only reason I was even at college was because my parents had left behind enough money for me that I could pay for college and a couple years after school without a job.

Another tear rolled down my face, the years after that had been nothing I cared to remember. Keep it safe to say that it seemed no one wanted me. Until Alice had come along I was getting ready to pretty much drop off the face off the Earth myself, not that anyone really knew I was there anyway.

I sighed and after staring at the trees for a few more minutes I stood and, at a snail's pace, walked back to my car. I nearly jumped out of my skin at the thunderous engine after all the silence. I picked up my phone—3 missed calls. I tossed it onto the passenger seat and pulled away from the side of the road. No doubt Alice was excited about some dumb sale or something. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone so I didn't call her back like I usually would. I stopped at a red light and dropped my forehead onto the steering wheel for a moment.

"Life sucks." I muttered under my breathe… What an understatement.

**A/N: Ok, so here's the third chapter—FINALLY! School has been brutal, guys. Horrible. Anyway, sorry it's kinda short but I wanted to post something and as some of you know, the Great FanFiction Blackout (as I like to call it) ended a couple days ago. :P Ok, so even though you guys must hate me for not updating please review and tell me what you think! I'll try not to wait so long to update again. Sorry about that, I really am. Oh and go vote in the poll I just put up, it's important! Thank you. :D Until next time…**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight-I forgot to put it on my profile…**

"_Life sucks." I muttered under my breathe… What an understatement. _

**BPOV**

I sighed as Alice tugged once more on my arm "Come on, Bella! I seriously doubt he'll still be mad and I want to hear him." She stopped pulling and pouted at me, her lip jutting out and her eyes shining.

It was Saturday morning and Alice was trying to drag me to Macy's with Jasper. I looked at Jasper pleadingly from where I sat stubbornly on the couch. He shrugged, almost regretfully, and leaned against the door way "Sorry, Bella, I don't think I can help here." I huffed and crossed my arms over my chest, glaring defiantly at Alice.

"Why are you making such a big deal? You haven't even met him." I looked away. Why was she trying so hard to drag me there? She didn't even know him or what he was like. _I _didn't really know him or what he was like either. So why the big fuss?

Alice's eyes were cautious when I looked back at her and my confusion intensified. "I don't know…I have a feeling." She looked anywhere but me. "Are you coming or not?" I rolled my eyes but didn't push her; I didn't want or need Alice to be mad at me.

"Let's go." I grumbled and led the way out. Alice cheered and grabbed the keys to her Porsche along with her purse. I saw Jasper's eyebrows furrow slightly at her purse but he didn't say anything.

Jasper and I didn't say much on the drive over, we let Alice do the talking. I couldn't even really say what she had been talking about. I was too preoccupied looking out the window during the short car ride. When we arrived, Jasper opened Alice's car door and then held the door to Macy's open for both of us. "Thanks." I murmured as I slipped past. Alice immediately went to the counter and her 'totally obvious secret admirer' followed.

I sat down at my usual little corner booth and saw Jasper gently push Alice's purse towards her and pull some money out of his own wallet. When Alice reached for her smoothie I saw her hand brush his lightly and briefly. They shared a smile and then Jasper grabbed his drink and mine and led her back to our table. He handed me my drink "Here you go, Bella."

I smiled and took it. "Thanks, how much do I owe you?" He immediately shook his head and held up his free hand.

"My treat." He smiled again and sat across from Alice who was sitting next to me. We both looked at her and noticed at the same time that she hadn't been paying attention to our little exchange but was looking over Jasper's shoulder. I looked as well and Jasper turned in his seat.

Edward was sitting at the piano and playing a song I'd heard before. I'd heard a few names for it, but as far as I knew most people called it "The Piano." We all watched in silence and I saw that we weren't the only people in the shop staring. His bronze hair was falling in his eyes but seeing as they were practically closed I didn't think that would matter much.

There was only a short pause between the end of that song and the beginning of another: "River Flows in You" by… Yiruma I thought. At least I didn't have to say it, I was pretty sure I couldn't pronounce it, but that was just me.

"Um, if any one has any suggestions or requests, feel free to come up and tell me." He said into the microphone and examined the crowd that had formed for some coffee before classes. Of course he had to look in my direction and his eyes met mine.

I smiled, trying to show how I was sorry in my expression. After a second he smiled back crookedly, forgiveness and apology also on his face. Alice noticed and looked at me with a grin. I smiled back and looked back at Edward to see him talking with one of the employees. "Okay, so this next song is called "100 Years" by Five For Fighting."

I grinned and looked at Alice; I wanted to see how she'd react to his velvet voice_. "I'm fifteen for a moment, caught in between ten and twenty and I'm just dreaming, counting the ways to where you are."_ Alice's jaw dropped as she gawked at him. She slowly turned to stare at me with round eyes.

"I told you so." I said before I could bite my tongue. She just turned back to face the piano. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face, her expression was priceless. Jazz looked a little peeved about it almost, but only for a second. We all stared in silence for the rest of the song. _"When you only got a 100 years to live."_ I sang the last line softly then turned back to Alice with a gloating smile.

"He _is_ amazing." She admitted and her mouth closed and then curled into a devious smile.

"What?" I asked warily. She didn't say anything just glanced over my shoulder and back at my face.

"Hello, Bella." A soft voice murmured somewhere above my head.

Guess who?

"Hey, Edward." I turned in my seat and smiled, a little more hesitantly than before.

"Can I borrow her for a moment?" He asked Alice and Jasper who grinned and nodded in unison.

He held out a hand to help me up and I took it, letting go as soon as I was standing. He led me to another booth a couple tables away. "Are you on break?"'

He nodded "For half an hour." He sat down across from where I sat. "Bella, I apologize for how I reacted on Wednesday. I know you didn't know that it was a sensitive subject and I shouldn't have snapped like that." He smiled. "I'm not the most open person in the world, or even Seattle, but when I tried to just forget what I said, I still felt bad. Do you forgive me?"

What? Now _I_ was forgiving _him_? So it wasn't my fault then? Well, okay, I'd take that. "Of course I forgive you. Sure, I didn't know, but I shouldn't have just assumed."I bit my lip.

"Well, most people aren't sensitive about the things I am." He looked away but I knew how he felt. I sighed and followed his gaze to outside the window and then I looked back at our table and saw Jasper was for once doing a lot of the talking while Alice listened. Edward saw the object of my attention. "How do you know them?"

"Alice is a close friend, a sister, we like to think. Jasper is her soul mate." I smiled at him. "They're just not an official couple yet, though it'll happen soon I'm sure." He chuckled at my explanation.

"And have you found _your_ soul mate?" He questioned and I felt my face and emotions automatically shut down as the walls I'd built over years were thrown up to hide my feelings. Edward saw my expression, my clenched jaw, and touched my hand that was on top of the table gently. "That's okay, you don't need to tell me." He said soothingly. My walls didn't drop that easily but my expression and posture softened slightly, becoming less stony. I smiled as best I could and he smiled back crookedly, further soothing my posture. "I haven't found my soul mate." He said suddenly and I met his eyes.

"Oh?" I looked him up and down quickly, he seemed the kind of guy that was disappear off the market quickly.

"No, I haven't met many decent girls in my life."

"Maybe you've been looking in the wrong places."

He shrugged and folded his arms on the table. "Maybe I have been." My guard was slowly going back down again, but I hadn't been paying attention much the past few moments and it had fallen dangerously low. I wouldn't let that happen now. There was a long minute of silence, it wasn't awkward, but it was definitely not comfortable. "Window." Edward suddenly said.

"Huh?" I looked at him incredulously. "Window?"

"Haven't you ever played Random before?" He rose an eyebrow at me.

"Um, no. How do you play?"

"Well, I say a _random_ word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind."Oh, that was painfully obvious. It was kind of funny that he was using these little games but when I thought about it, it was kind of an easy way to get to know someone like a friend.

"Okay. Window?" He nodded. "Imagination." I answered.

"How did you get 'imagination' from 'window'?"His eyebrows furrowed as he tried to follow my logic.

"Well, I can just picture a kid in school sitting in class and looking out the window, daydreaming or imagining." I shrugged and his expression cleared.

"Okay, then… New York."

"Starbucks."I answered after a second.

He thought for a moment, his eyebrows furrowing. "I give up. How in the world did you get Starbucks?"

"Well, they say New York is the city that never sleeps, right?" He nodded slowly. "And Starbucks is one of the most famous coffee houses in the U.S…" He still didn't get it. "The New Yorkers have to run on _something_!" I threw my hands up in exasperation. After less than a second, Edward threw his head back and laughed. My shoulders slumped and I glared at him. "I don't remember telling you a joke."I raised an eyebrow at him and he quieted down until just his shoulders shook with silent laughter.

When he composed himself he said another word. "Red."

"Courage."

"Okay, I think I got this one. Red is the color of courage and royalty or something, right?"He looked unsure.

I shook my head. "Nope, that's not it. Think of those bull fighters in Spain, waving those red flags in front of the bulls, they've got to be jammed pack full of courage." I laughed at Edward's incredulous expression.

"You, Bella, have the weirdest sense of logic and thought process that I have _ever _seen." His eyebrows were raised so high they almost disappeared into his hairline. I couldn't hold back my laugh.

"I've been told that a few times before." I smiled and he shook his head slowly in awe.

"Hey, Edward, hey Bella." Angela's quiet voice was next to us. "Sorry to interrupt guys, but the boss said to tell you that your break's over." She grimaced "I hate being the bearer of bad news."

"No need to worry about it, I get off after this last round anyway, and I'm not going to do something horrible. I'm going to play music." He smiled at her and she returned it before walking away.

Edward stood and brushed his hands against his pant legs. "Sorry, but I have to go." His eyes met mine with a tint of regret. I smiled and stood as well.

"That's fine. Have fun playing." I started to turn but he said my name and I looked back at him and cocked my head to the side in question.

He took one of my hands in both of his and kissed my hand softly, making me blush scarlet. "I had fun talking to you. Oh, and I must say, that color of blue looks marvelous on you." He gently let my hand drop back to my side before walking away, to the piano.

My feet stayed planted to the wooden floor as I watched him go and then I slowly moved back to my old table. I sat next to Alice and their conversation came to a halt. They must have been talking about me…

"So… we saw you talking to Edward." Jasper smiled and Alice glared at him for giving away their 'secret.' Then she shrugged, like 'okay, the secret's out, might as well talk about it.'

"I saw him kiss your hand, what was that about?" Alice wiggled her eyebrows and Jasper chuckled while I rolled my eyes.

"It seems chivalry is not dead." Was all I said in response before training my eyes on Edward who had just started playing "Clocks" by Coldplay. He didn't sound like the singer very much but his version was better, if you asked me, so what if I was a little biased.

Alice glared at me for a long time and it was hard not to turn my head and meet her glare head on. Every time she tried to hold my glare she started laughing, apparently I'm not that scary when I'm angry. At least not to Alice, even though I had almost a foot on her height-wise.

"So," Jasper tried to distract Alice "are we going to meet Edward today?"

"Yes." Alice answered before I could speak. Now I turned my glare on her.

"Since when?"

"Since now." She stuck her tongue out at me. "I'll give you two choices: Introduce him to us or I'll stalk him until _he_ introduces himself." I huffed in defeat and she grinned.

"You suck." I muttered. Her tinkling laugh made a few heads turn and I rolled my eyes.

"When does he get off?" Jasper asked.

"After this next set, at about ten." Jasper pulled out a sleek, black cell phone.

"It's just after 9:30 now, you guys want to stay or do you want to go to a nearby store for a while or something…?"We both shook our heads and he put his phone away. He looked at the empty coffee cups on the table "Either of you want a refill?" He looked between the both of us.

"No thanks." We both said so he picked up all the empty cups and trashed them before reclaiming his seat.

For the next half hour, conversation flowed easily with gaps here and there when we would all listen to the music. The shop was slowly starting to empty as people moved on to their normal routines. When 10 o'clock rolled around, we watched as the manager walked onto the small stage, talked to Edward for a minute or two, and then handed him a small, white envelope which Edward tucked into a pocket in the inside of his jacket.

He stood and when I called his name walked over to our table. Jasper moved over and Edward took a seat next to him and across from me. "Edward, this is Alice and Jasper." He shook hands with each of them.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, I'm Edward Cullen." He said it to both of them but he kept shooting curious glances at Jasper for some reason.

Alice, always being her blunt and straightforward self, said "Have you met Jasper before or something?"

"No, I don't think so." He was now openly examining Jasper. "What's your last name?"

"Hale." Jasper answered slowly and Alice and I just looked at the two of them.

"Do you have any siblings?"

"A twin sister." Edward's eyes widened at this response a little.

"What's her name?"

"Why do you want to know?" Jasper's eyes narrowed slightly.

"Cause I know a girl by the name of Rosalie Hale that looks like a female version of you."

"Rose is my twin." Jasper nodded. "How do you know her?"

"My brother, Emmett, is dating her."

"Emmett? I know him, he's been dating her for a while, and I've seen him at our house or with her a few times, cool guy."

"I've never seen you before."

"I don't follow Rose everywhere she goes." He answered absently as he looked off into space. "Kind of an odd coincidence meeting you, Edward." He nodded in agreement.

"It's definitely a small world…" Our table fell silent for a moment.

"I want to meet Emmett." Alice piped up. "I mean, he's Edward's brother and Jasper's sister is dating him. From what I've seen of Rosalie, I like her." Alice smiled and folded her hands on top of the table. Everyone looked at each other and then Edward shrugged.

"That's fine by me." Edward shrugged and Jasper agreed.

"Cool, why don't we all go to a movie together?!" I could already see the wheels turning in her evil little pixie head. No one else seemed to notice my glaring at her though.

Everyone agreed and I scowled. At least it wasn't some wild college party where I just played the role of wall flower. "So, it's agreed, we'll all meet at our place, Jasper and Rose will pick you and Emmett up." Alice was bouncing in her seat.

"Yeah, so we'll see you at six." Alice nodded and with a quick goodbye and wave she bounced out of the shop with Jasper in tow.

I smiled at Edward. "I'll see you soon."

He smiled back softly and I heard him say as I walked away, "Until then…"

**A/N: Another chapter, and there was Edward goodness too! Ha ha. Ok, so I don't own any of those songs, if you want to ask again what the song(s) were, just ask. Oh, and that game that they played, Random, the responses that Bella gave were actually from a game that I played with my brother, Zack, and those were the answers I gave, ha ha. Yeah, I have a pretty weird thought process, I know… Anyway, review and tell me what you think and vote in my poll, it's about this story! And just to remind those of you who might not know, this is an all human story. People seemed to have trouble understanding that with my last story even though I said it a couple times. Ok, so review and I hope you enjoyed! I almost forgot, there's this amazing story by Teeny Tiny Twilight called 'Friend Boy' that I TOTALLY recommend, it's awesome. It's under my favorite stories and she's under my favorite authors. Go check it out!!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: You guys know I don't own Twilight or any of the songs I'm using in this story so I'm done putting these up! Gosh…**

_He smiled back softly and I heard him say as I walked away, "Until then…"_

**BPOV**

"You have nothing to wear!" Alice screeched, rummaging through another drawer in my dresser. She'd already gone through my closet and a few of my drawers. I laughed from where I was sitting on my bed and she turned to glare at me before continuing her search. "Where did all the clothes I bought you go?!"

"Remember, you threw them out recently because you said they were starting to get outdated."

"I didn't _throw them out_. I sent them to charity." She sniffed before moving on to another drawer. I folded my arms and just watched her as she continued looking.

A couple minutes later Alice paused in her quest for suitable clothes. Her head cocked to the side as she slowly reached into the back of the drawer. A soft tinkling sound made me realize it was metal but I was sure I hadn't hid anything in my dresser. She held up a thin silver chain with two dog tags on it. I stood and walked over to her as she read what they said. "Charles R. Swan, 555-602-7070, Christian. That's all it says, both of them." She held them up to me and as I took them I felt my eyes prick with tears. "Bella, who's Charles?" She asked softly.

I swallowed and sat back on the bed, just staring at the tags, the name etched into them. "Charles was my father, Alice." A tear rolled down my face. What was up with all the sudden memories of my family lately? With the park and now my father's dog tags. And I kept crying! For crying out loud, my period had been two weeks ago!

Alice nodded and sat next to me to wrap an arm around me and pulled me down to lean on her shoulder. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I can tell you why I have them." I answered and she nodded again. "Before I was born my dad fought with the army, that's why he had these and he hardly ever took them off. I used to always play with them whenever he held me." I smiled sadly, I barely remembered his face, the only reason I did was because of pictures my aunt and uncle had shown me. "Whenever he went out with my mom and I was left with a babysitter, he would pull off his tags and let me wear them. He said that as long as I took good care of them they would be back quickly." I took a shuttering breath and a sob broke through. I tried to pull myself together to finish the story. Alice's eyes were starting to fill with tears as well. "One night, when I was six, my parents were going out on a date. They loved each other a lot." I smiled a little more happily now and Alice returned it with her own watery smile. "He gave me the dog tags, kissed my forehead, and said they would be back soon. I never saw him or my mom again. My aunt and uncle picked me up later that night. For the first year, I never took off this chain in hopes that they would come back, even though I knew they were dead." I pulled on the necklace and tucked it under my shirt before I hugged Alice tightly.

I wiped away my tears and smiled sadly. I pulled the chain out of my shirt and studied the dog tags for a long moment, even though I'd already memorized them a long time ago. Alice watched as I put them back under my shirt. "Hey, why don't you just throw on a pair of jeans and I'll find that one shirt that looked really cute. You know, the short-sleeved one that was dark blue?" I shrugged and she went back to my closet while I changed into a pair of jeans.

"Alice, can you please not try and force Edward and I together or anything? We're just friends." I winced slightly. Were we even friends? I wasn't sure when someone went from an acquaintance to a friend anymore.

"Of course." Maybe I should try crying more often. Usually she forced me on guys almost every time we went out to a party or anything.

"Thanks." I pulled on the shirt she handed me. "Come on, everyone should be here soon." I smiled, I didn't want to ruin her night, and I'd be fine on my own for a day. I'd gotten along for longer when I was younger. She smiled and led the way into the family room where she turned on the TV to some random show.

"Are you sure you're going to be okay?" She asked after a moment of silence. I smiled for her concern.

"I'll be fine. Do you know what movie we're going to see?"

"I think it's supposed to be some action/romance thing." She shrugged.

"Okay." We sat in silence for a few more minutes before the doorbell of our apartment rung and Alice jumped up and danced over to the door. She opened it and there stood Edward and Jasper and who I assumed must be Emmett and Rosalie. She waved them all in and Jasper went and sat on the couch while the others stood there in the entryway/living room kind of shuffling their feet.

I stood up. "Hi, I'm Bella." I smiled and the big bear of a guy grinned, showing off dimples.

"I'm Emmett." He answered in a loud voice. "This is my girlfriend and Jasper's sister, Rosalie." He put an arm around the tall, blonde's shoulders.

"I can introduce myself." She muttered but she was smiling up at him. Her blue eyes sparkled, identical to Jasper's as far as I could tell. Alice also introduced herself and everyone shook hands.

I noticed Edward leaning against the wall, hanging out on the fringe of things. "You can sit down, if you want." I motioned to the two small couches and armchair in the room.

He just shrugged and stayed standing. "We should be leaving in a minute anyway." I shrugged as well, if he wanted to stand he could stand, I wouldn't force him to get comfortable.

"So, who's ready to see a movie?" Emmett smiled and rubbed his hands together.

"I am." Alice said at the same time Jasper and I did.

"Let's go."Edward said.

It turned out Emmett had gone with the Hales but Edward had driven in his own car, a silver Volvo S60R, behind them.

"Rose and I call the BMW!" Emmett yelled and ran ahead of us to vault over the side of a red car with the top down and into the passenger seat. Alice and I laughed. I was surprised by how childish he seemed.

"I guess that means everyone else pile into my car." Edward smiled slightly and Jasper, followed by Alice, climbed into the back, leaving me the passenger seat. Edward opened my car door for me and I thanked him before getting in. He came around the front and peeled out of the parking lot behind Emmett and Rosalie.

Jasper and Alice were talking quietly in the back and I was looking around at the inside of Edward's car. There was a CD case on the ground near my feet and another one on the dashboard. I picked up the one on the ground and flipped through it. I recognized most of the bands; he had a taste similar to mine. I listened to nearly everything except opera and I wasn't a big fan of rap or scream-o type music.

"The sky is surprisingly clear." Edward said and I looked at him to see him watching me. I blushed and closed the case, replacing it on the floor. He chuckled. "No, it's fine."

"It's okay, I'm done anyway. Yeah, there's hardly any clouds out." I looked out the window at the nearly spotless sky. "That doesn't mean it won't be cold out though." I said. Winter was coming in Washington, since it was September. I realized with a shock that my birthday was about two weeks away. I also realized that I was wearing a short-sleeved shirt and it was already getting chilly out. It would be freezing by the time the movie was over. I sighed and wrapped my arms around myself to ward off the cold that hadn't yet arrived.

I touched my father's dog tags through my shirt and looked at my feet. I barely got to know them before they were ripped away from me. Was there no justice?

"Hey, you okay? You look upset about something." Edward looked down at me gently before glancing at the road.

"I'm fine." I muttered.

Why'd I have to be so callous? He was just trying to be nice and I go back and snap at him. "I'm sorry." I turned and smiled slightly at him. "I didn't mean to snap."

He just shrugged. "It happens."He answered stiffly, without looking at me.

We sat in silence for the rest of the ride; the only noise was the purr of the engine and Alice's murmurings to Jasper. "Are you mad at me?" I finally asked as we pulled into the theatre's parking lot.

He looked surprised. "No, if anything, I thought _you_ were mad at _me_."My eyebrows shot up and I shook my head.

"I'm not mad at you either."

"Oh." We both got out of the car and walked after Alice and Jasper at our own pace. "I apologize for the misunderstanding." He sounded so formal, stiff again. I didn't already ruin the night did I? That would be just my luck.

When we caught up with Alice and Jazz they handed us our tickets and said that Emmett and Rosalie had already gone to get seats. We all got in line and bought drinks and two buckets of popcorn. "Emmett will you eat one all by himself." Edward said with a laugh, he looked a little more at ease. The seating arrangement ended up being: Jasper, Alice, Rosalie, Emmett, me, and Edward. I was okay with that, Jasper and Emmett would probably be wrapped up in their girls and the girls would be talking about fashion. I couldn't say that I wasn't a little intimidated by Rosalie's looks, but I wasn't afraid of her in anyway. She didn't do anything that labeled her friend_ or_ foe. I couldn't figure out how I felt about her.

"So, what's up, Bella?" Emmett turned and grinned at me. I smiled back, he was contagious.

"Nothing really; how are you?"

"I'm good. So, what do you think of Edward?" He jerked his chin in Edward's direction, who rolled his eyes but didn't look our way.

I laughed softly. "He's pretty cool; the piano thing is amazing." I smiled and Emmett nodded. "You guys are brothers?"

"Yeah, I'm a year older then Eddie here." He punched Edward's shoulder playfully.

"Don't call me that Emmett." He groaned.

Then the lights started to dim. "Finally!" Emmett boomed and I laughed. Rosalie glared and smacked his arm.

"Do you want to get us kicked out _again?_" She growled and I laughed again, louder this time.

"Again?" I asked Edward and he chuckled, nodding. I looked at Emmett and he was sitting back in his chair, his arms folded, and his bottom lip sticking out in a pout. He looked like a chastised five year old that went to the gym three times a day. I giggled softly at my own thought and Emmett turned to grin at me like a Cheshire cat. "You're such a goofball."

He nodded in understanding. "So I've been told." He said seriously and I smiled again. Rose elbowed him and he stuck out his tongue before finally turning to the movie screen. He picked up one of the popcorn buckets and shoveled a handful into his mouth. I believed Edward's comment now.

An hour and a half later the movie was over. "That was a pretty predictable movie..." I muttered, disappointed. I'd expected something a little better.

"Yeah, predictable, but _so_ much fun to make fun of!" Emmett cackled and slapped Jasper on the back. They had added their own commentary through the whole movie. It had made the hour and a half bearable; I didn't know Jasper could be so funny and Emmett's sense of humor could be a little extreme but it was all in good fun. Edward chuckled and shook his head.

"That's my brother." He smiled as Emmett turned and picked up Rosalie suddenly. She squealed and he spun her around before carrying her out of the theatre thrown over his shoulder. I'd forgotten all about the weather so when we walked out the door and I was hit by a wall of cold air I paused mid-step then tried to keep going like nothing had happened. I wrapped my arms around myself and hoped no one noticed. Alice would feel bad if she knew I was freezing because of how she made me dress.

I didn't notice Edward watching me until he shrugged off his own coat. "Here you go." He tried to hand it to me. "Wouldn't want you to freeze." He smiled crookedly but I pushed it back to him.

"That's okay, I've been colder." I smiled at his offer; some girl was going to be lucky to have him someday. I would be lucky if I got him as a friend.

"I insist." He grinned. "It's harder to get to know someone when they're a frozen Popsicle."He laughed and I smiled. I held out my hand reluctantly, but he wouldn't settle for just handing it to me, he helped me into the coat. As we walked he actually rolled up the sleeves of his black button-down shirt.

"How are you not cold? You're insane."I rolled my eyes and he opened my car door for me again. He didn't respond until he was sitting next to me in the driver's seat.

"You're not the first person to say that." He finally replied as he threw the car into reverse and pulled out of his space. Alice and Jasper were talking in quiet excited voices about something but I didn't eavesdrop, if it was a big deal, Alice would tell me. I got a whiff of Edward's coat and I shivered. I pulled it tighter around me and sniffed again, trying not to be conspicuous. It had a dark, spicy smell. Was that cologne or his natural scent? Either way, I didn't want to give him back his coat anymore…

Edward's phone rang and he pulled a small silver cell from his pocket. "Hey, Emmett." He greeted. I could hear Emmett say something from where I sat. "Yeah, sure, I'll ask." He covered the receiver. "Do any of you guys have any objections to going back to mine and Emmett's place for pizza?" He asked all of us. I shook my head and I heard Jasper say no while Alice agreed enthusiastically to go back to their place. "Yeah, we're all for it." He paused to listen to something Emmett said then answered "Okay, we'll meet you there." He hung up the phone and smiled at me.

"How far away is your house?"

"About ten minutes past yours." He answered.

"Oh, that's cool." We sat in silence for a moment. "Hey, do you wanna listen to music?"The silence was starting to annoy me.

"Um, yeah, sure. Do you wanna pick out a CD or something?" He tapped the case that was still sitting on the dashboard.

"Do you have one of those… um, auxiliary thingies? I don't know what they're called…" I racked my brain but couldn't come up with the word. "Whatever, a cord thing that you can hook your iPod up to so you can listen to music through the cars speakers."

He laughed at my explanation. "Yeah, I have one of those." He held the end of the cord up to me and I pulled my iPod out of my pocket and plugged it in.

I scrolled through my songs. "Okay, I played acoustic guitar for about a year before I started electric; this was one of the first songs I learned for electric guitar."I smiled and it 'play'. I pretended to play as the music started and I saw recognition show in Edward's eyes immediately.

"'Mother, We Just Can't Get Enough' by New Radicals." He grinned. "I remember this song; I once knew the piano part." He started drumming on the steering wheel like he was playing and he turned a dial to turn up the music. I laughed, he was like me, I always turned the music up, no matter what. _"There's something about you, tears me inside out whenever you're around. There's something about you,  
speeding thru my veins until we hit the ground."_ We both started singing at the same time and I couldn't help laughing, we actually sounded pretty good.

"_And moootheerrr, we just can't get enough, we just can't get enough!"_ Edward was still drumming out the piano and I was playing the air guitar as we both sang in a joking way. At the same time we both moved to look at each other so we were less than a foot apart and we both sang _"There's something about you!"_ I bobbed my head funny and fell back in my seat almost in hysterics I was laughing so hard at his expression. Edward laughed too but he was also trying not to drive us into the trees lining the road. I looked back and noticed that Alice and Jasper were still talking but they kept throwing glances our way. I shrugged it off; they weren't going to ruin my mood.

"I need to listen to listen to this song more often, I haven't in a while." I said and Edward nodded.

"Yeah, it's a great song. It gets a little weird towards the end but the first three minutes or so are awesome." He grinned and stopped at a red light.

"Hmm, what else to listen to?" I thought out loud tapping on my iPod.

"It doesn't really matter; I like nearly everything."

"Me too; the only thing I can't listen to is opera."

He nodded "Agreed."

"You've heard of Relient K, right?" I would smack him upside the head if he hadn't.

"Oh, yeah, I've heard a couple of their songs too. I don't know their music very well though."

"Okay, this song is called… 'Be My Escape.'" Edward listened carefully to the whole song while I sang softly. All the songs on my iPod had been memorized long ago.

"The lyrics are good, I liked it. The piano part sounded fun too." He smiled in approval. "We're here." he added.

I looked away from him and out the windshield to see we were driving up to an apartment building not so different from ours. "Cool." I unplugged my iPod and put it back in my pocket as Edward pulled into one of the residency parking spots. Everyone got out and Edward led the way to his building.

"Rose and Emmett are probably already there…" Edward muttered as he tried the door to see it was unlocked. Edward smiled as he held the door open for us. "Welcome to the Masen apartment."

**A/N: I made another mistake you guys and I apologize!! When Edward introduced himself to Alice and Jasper in last chapter he said his last name was Cullen, in this story he and Emmett actually share the name of Masen. I'm sorry guys; life has been hectic so I keep forgetting little important details like that. :/ Okay, but yeah, here's chapter 5. I'm going on Spring Break (today actually :D)so I won't update for a while; about a week and a half to two weeks. Again, I apologize. Oh, and please vote in my poll. Anyway, thanks for reading and please review! Ha ha, those of you going on break have a good one, everyone else, have a good week! :)**


	6. AN

**IMPORTANT: I'M SORRY GUYS BUT IF YOU DON'T READ THIS YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON!!** I really don't need a bunch of people asking the same question over and over again either… Okay, the reason for one of these stupid author's notes… I'm putting this story on hiatus/break/pause/whatever you want to call it. I hate myself for doing it, but I do have reasons.

I have a minor case of writer's block. (I'll probably just do the traditional thing for the next chapter. You know, explain Edward's home, Emmett does something stupid/crazy because that's how he is, and Edward plays for her.)

I'm in the middle of finals for school which makes things hectic enough, but I also have festival for band in 6 or 7 days along with another concert two weeks after that. My life has been a little crazy lately…

I know I'm most likely not going to have time to write for a while so I thought I should warn you instead of just ditching you guys. I hope I'll be updating again by May, but I don't know _when_ in May, seeing as my school year ends on May 21 and then I have this camp thing for a week the next day.

Sorry, guys, but life happens. :( Wish me luck and hope I don't die of stress or anything! I'll try and update as soon as I possibly can. I think I might put up a one-shot or two to get those creative juices flowing… While I'm away I suggest you look up my favorite author, Amelia Atwater-Rhodes, especially Hawksong :)


	7. All the Darkness

**Disclaimer: I swear this is the last time I'm doing this in this story until the last chapter so hear me out! I DO **_**NOT**_** OWN TWILIGHT.**

_Edward smiled as he held the door open for us. "Welcome to the Masen apartment."_

**BPOV**

I slowly walked into to the apartment after Alice and Jasper and took in my surroundings. It was a good-sized apartment with white carpets in the living room and leading down a hall to the right, with hardwood floors in their kitchen. The first thing you saw was two black couches turned to face the plasma screen TV around a small, knee-high center table. Next to the TV was a huge stereo system that looked like it took CDs and tapes and you could also hook your iPod or MP3 up.

I followed Alice and Jasper into the kitchen and leaned against the slightly cheaper looking counter. The living room looked a bit more modern than the kitchen but the difference wasn't too noticeable. Emmett was sitting in a chair at the medium-sized table talking into a cordless house phone to what sounded like a pizza place. Rosalie stood behind him with her hands on his shoulders, talking to her brother, Jasper. Alice sat in the chair next to Jasper, just listening to the siblings, and I smiled when I saw their legs touching under the table. I crossed my arms over my chest and watched them from where I leant against the counter.

Edward had disappeared down the hallway I'd noticed before and now reentered, smacking Emmett on the back of the head for no apparent reason. Covering the receiver he yelled "Hey, what the heck was that for?!" He rubbed the back of his head before returning to the phone, glaring at Edward who just smiled back cheekily.

"I was getting bored." Was all he said and Jasper chuckled.

"Hitting Emmett does seem a good way to chase away boredom." With that, Jasper reached over and punched Emmett's arm. Emmett didn't say anything this time but as soon as Jasper turned to look at Alice he whacked him in the stomach making Jasper double over and glare at Emmett. "I'll get you later." He growled and then Alice distracted him with some comment about their former conversation.

Edward leaned against the small island in front of me. He rolled his sleeves up to his elbows and crossed his arms in position similar to mine. We just stared at each for a moment and I noticed a long white scar that stretched down Edward's right arm, I couldn't see where it ended but it started from about his wrist to somewhere under his sleeve. Edward saw me looking at it, but upon my questioning look didn't explain or pull down his sleeves as expected. He just looked away and I saw his jaw clench. I took the chance to look for any more scars. What had he done to get the one on his arm? It didn't look like it had been a wound quick to heal. I saw another scar poking out from under his shirt, at his throat.

"Pizza will be here in twenty to thirty minutes. Pepperoni is okay for everyone, right?" Emmett asked, hanging up the phone. There was mumbles of "sure" from everyone. By some kind of unspoken agreement, everyone drifted into the living room where Emmett flipped the TV to ESPN. Alice and Jasper took one couch and Emmett and Rosalie the other, there was no room left for Edward and I so I sat on the ground and leaned back against the couch by Alice's legs. Edward just stood back against the wall and watched us all. He seemed really tense suddenly but I tried not to think on it too much. Jasper and Alice were whispering between themselves and Emmett and Rose were both watching TV. I sighed and curled my arms around my legs, resting my chin on my knees.

After a minute, Edward said my name and I looked up at him. "You wanna go see my room?" He nodded towards the hallway by the front door. I shrugged and stood.

"Sure." I followed him down the hallway to the last door on the left. He opened the door for me and followed me in, closing the door behind him. The TV was immediately muffled and I looked around the room. A queen sized bed with a deep blue comforter was shoved into a corner and another big stereo system covered most of the opposite wall, along with a rack of CDs. I looked at some of the titles, recognizing few and not knowing many others. There was another shelf, this one with books and I knew a lot more of those. "A home without books is like a house without windows." I murmured and Edward sat on his bed, watching me. "And I doubt there are books of any length or greatness to be found in Emmett's room." I smiled at Edward and he nodded.

"Not really, unless he took it from here for some reason, usually when he tries to annoy me he takes CDs though." He chuckled and shook his head. I smiled and padded over the soft black carpet to the window that over-looked a good portion of the city, a view like that usually made an apartment more expensive. Edward came over and stood next to me. It was dark outside and because we were in a fifth floor apartment, we could see the lights of the city, sparkling like rubies and diamonds.

"You're lucky, to have a view like this." I said and he smiled, nodding.

"I look out here every night before I sleep… I guess it calms me down. It's hard to think you're alone in a world like this when you can see so many people from your bedroom window, even if it makes you feel insignificant." He smiled again and I sighed softly, leaning my elbows on the window sill and my face in my hands. Edward leaned on the sill next to me and our arms touched sending tingles across my skin and making my senses seem hyper sensitive. I looked at him at of the corner of my eye only to see him doing the same, we both laughed at being caught but before we could say anything Emmett called from the living room.

"Dinner's here!" Edward nodded towards the bedroom door.

"Ladies first." He held it open for me and I thanked him. Abandoning the kitchen, everyone was eating pizza on paper plates on the couches.

"Hey, we put in a movie, James Bond Quantum of Solace, hope you don't mind." Emmett said when we entered and then took another huge bite of his pizza. It was in the middle of the first car chase and I grabbed a slice of pizza and tossed it onto a paper plate before sitting cross-legged against the wall. Edward sat next to me and held out a Coke which I took with a smile. We leaned back against the wall and watched the movie in silence, eating.

An hour or so into the movie, I yawned and Edward chuckled. "Already getting tired? It's only 11:30 on a Friday night." I shrugged one shoulder and took one last sip of Coke which wasn't doing much to keep me awake. I leaned back against the wall again and closed my eyes. "Why don't you ask someone to move and sit on the couch?"

I answered without opening my eyes "I don't want to be a burden or anything. Let the lovebirds sit together." We lapsed back into silence and I was falling into a very light sleep when suddenly I was being picked up. I jumped but didn't protest as Edward walked down the hall and into his room. Without turning on the light, he laid me in the bed and moved away, standing by the window. I rolled onto my side and watched him stare out at the city below. "What are you thinking about?" I murmured and he glanced at me before turning his green gaze to the window again.

"That doesn't matter. You should sleep now, Bella." I stared at him in silence, at first his face was an emotionless mask but it was slipping and a bunch of different emotions flickered across his face in a minute.

Pain. Anger. Sadness. Maybe regret. Just…conflict. My eyes were slits so when he looked at me, he seemed to think I was asleep and a soft smile graced his features. I almost smiled back, but I didn't want to get caught watching him when he thought he had privacy. After a minute, he walked over and sat down on the other side of the bed.

He sighed and whispered "I hope you never have to see all the darkness in this world."

All the darkness. He hoped I didn't have to see all the darkness. I'd seen more than he knew.

**A/N: Okay, right after I posted that author's note I was hit by a stroke of inspiration and wrote this… What do you think? I thought it was okay for getting over writer's block and after having the kind of day I've had even though it's pretty short. Anyway, hope you liked it and I hope you'll review. :)**** Oh, and just because I updated now, I still haven't settled back into a routine so don't expect another update for a while. I have no idea when I'll have time again. Review please! We've reached one hundred and I have high hopes for this story!**


	8. Innocent Toasters and Cheshire Cats

_All the darkness. He hoped I didn't have to see all the darkness. I'd seen more than he knew._

**EPOV**

I was in my room, sitting on my bed next to Bella, just watching her sleep when there was a soft knock on the door. I stood as quietly as I could, trying not to wake Bella and padded over to the door. I opened it and immediately put a finger to my mouth to signal Alice and Jasper to keep quiet. I opened the door wider for them to see her in bed, on her stomach with both hands tucked under the pillow. Alice smiled and moved over to the bedside. She leaned over and whispered something in Bella's ear. We watched as Bella rolled over and looked up at Alice groggily, she rubbed her eyes and muttered "What time is it?"

"After midnight, we gotta head home."Alice answered gently.

Bella looked around "Where…" She saw me. "Oh. We're at Edward's apartment…" I smiled at her; she looked cute all disoriented as she was. "Hey, Edward."

"Hey, Bella."I answered.

"I'm going to get the car." Jasper left the room and Alice whispered something else in Bella's ear before she left as well, leaving Bella bright red.

"What did Alice say?"I asked casually, walking over to my stereo and turning on some soft piano music. I turned to look at her and she just shrugged, standing up. She stretched and I noticed a pair of dog tags around her neck. I walked over to her and took them in my hands. Charles R. Swan… I was about to ask who that was when she gently took them from my hands and tucked them into her shirt. Pain flashed in her eyes before she turned away, straightening the comforter on my bed. "You don't have to do that; I'll be using it soon, what with sleeping and all." I smiled at her and she returned it, but it looked sad. "I enjoyed myself tonight. You guys should come over more often."

"Maybe you guys could over to mine and Alice's apartment." She suggested and yawned. She shook her head, probably still trying to wake up. She looked past me towards the door "I should go now, I think…"I nodded and she started to walk past me but stopped. She came back over and hugged me softly.

I froze and didn't react for a second before hugging her back. "Thank you."

"What are you thanking me for?" I asked when she pulled away.

"For being there when I woke up." She half-smiled and brushed her hand across mine before she walked away. "Good night, Edward." She bid me over her shoulder.

"Good night, Bella." I answered. I stood dumbstruck in the same place until after she'd gone.

"Night, Ed!" Emmett called a few minutes after I heard the door close behind Bella.

"Night, Emmett." I said and closed the door before flopping back onto my bed. Like a cloud of smell, the scent of strawberries and freesia filled my nose. I rolled over and pressed my face into the pillow. It smelled _so_ good. I wondered if the jacket I'd lent her earlier smelled this good, I'd find out in the morning. I pulled my blankets up around me and rested my head on Bella's pillow. Closing my eyes, I fell into a restful sleep.

**BPOV**

Saturday morning, I was woken up by the caterwauling of some singer coming from my alarm clock. I slammed my fist down on it and viciously beat it into silence. Opening my eyes for the first time, the red numbers of my alarm clock glowed at me in a demonic way; I would swear they were mocking me, flashing 8:30 in my face. "It's too early to get up!" I yelled at the inanimate object and threw a pillow over my head.

"Bella! I made bacon and sunny-side-up eggs, get your butt in here!"Alice called from somewhere else in the apartment. I didn't move, but tried to ignore her. "Bella?! Don't make me dump water on your head!" Her voice sounded closer and I jumped up.

"Okay, okay!" I called back to her. I tried to brush the rat's nest that was my hair and then stumbled my way into the kitchen where Alice was putting some toast into the toaster. "Morning." I mumbled and she laughed.

"Good morning, Sunshine." She took her own plate and I put two eggs on my own and was getting bacon when the toast popped up in the toaster right in from of my face. I screamed in surprise and nearly fell over. Alice cackled and doubled-over laughing. I glared at the seemingly innocent toast and stomped my way back to where it sat. "You sh-should have… seen your face!" Alice's laughter rung through the kitchen and I rolled my eyes. I whacked the toaster once before taking the toast. "You are so weird, Bella." She said when I sat down next to her with my plate. "Whenever we watch horror movies, you're always so cool about it, no flinching, screaming, not anything… Then, the toast pops out of the toaster and you scream at the top of your lungs, nearly killing yourself from falling in the process." She started laughing again and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, shut it…" I mumbled and took a bite of bacon. "So, what happened with you and Jasper last night?"I said to change the subject.

"Oh, my gosh, I never told you last night did I?" I shook my head and she beamed. I thought her face was going to crack if she kept it up. "He asked me out! We're going to a movie and dinner tonight; he's picking me up at 5:30. I think I'm going to wear my little black dress…" She trailed off in thought, still grinning.

"You look like the Cheshire cat." I observed and she just shrugged. "I'm happy for you two, have fun."

"We will." She answered happily.

Later that night, Jasper came and picked up Alice, who looked like she was going to blow up from excitement. After they left I wandered into my room and picked up my acoustic guitar. I sat down on the ground, leaning back against my bed, and started strumming absently and playing some songs I knew, trying to keep myself entertained. A little under an hour later, I was getting hungry and the fingers of my left hand had marks all over them. I set down my guitar and walked into the kitchen. I rummaged around in the fridge for a minute before settling on an apple. I started to walk into the living room when I noticed a bright orange sticky note stuck on the counter near the fridge. I looked down at it and read Alice's handwriting:

'Emmett gave me the number to their house phone and said feel free to call anytime.' There was a number below it and after debating for a moment I picked up the phone and dialed it. The phone rang three times before it was picked up. "Hello?" Emmett's voice said right in my ear and I pulled the phone about an inch away from me.

"Hey, it's Bella."

"Oh, hey, Bella." I could see him grinning in my mind. "What's up?"

"Nothing, really, I just got bored and saw your number on a sticky note." I sat down at the kitchen table.

"Cool, do you want to talk to Edward or something?"

"Only if you don't want to talk to me." I answered, tracing the faux wood pattern in the tabletop.

"No, I can talk. What have you been up to today?" I could hear the voice of an announcer coming from his TV.

"Nothing, I've just been watching Alice run around the house like a beheaded chicken getting ready for her date with Jasper." I chuckled and he laughed.

"Tell them I said congrats, from what Rosie said this has been in the making…" He trailed off and I could hear that the announcer had gone into some frenzy and was talking really fast. "No! Come on, that wasn't interference, freaking idiot!" He yelled at the TV and I moved the phone a little further from my ear.

"Hey, Emmett, why don't I talk to Edward?" I suggested.

"Yeah, okay, Edward!" He shouted Edward's name and I was glad I'd moved the phone. There was a distant 'What?' and Emmett shouted. "Bella called, she was wondering if you wanted to talk!"

A minute later Edward's voice came over the phone, softer and smoother then Emmett's. "Bella?"

"Hi, Edward." I stood up and walked into my room where I flopped down on my bed.

"Is something wrong?" He asked and I laughed.

"No, does something have to be wrong for me to call you?" I smiled up at the ceiling.

"Well, no, I just wasn't planning on a call from you." He replied.

"Alice is out with Jasper and the house was getting too quiet." I muttered. It was dead silent here without the phone and TV wasn't like talking to a real person that you knew.

"Do you want to come over here?" I thought about his suggestion for a long moment.

"We came over yesterday… Why don't you, Emmett, and Rosalie come over now and I text Alice so when their date is over they can come back here. I'll make dinner."

"I don't want to be a burden; you shouldn't have to cook…" Edward answered slowly and I heard him take a deep breath.

"Then you guys bring salad, I'll make pasta, it's not that hard."I bargained and he agreed. We said our goodbyes and I hung up. I grabbed my cell phone and texted Alice with the plans before going back to the kitchen and getting out ingredients. I flipped on the radio that was sitting on the counter and put in a tape that had a cord sticking out one side so I could plug in my iPod. **(That's how mine works.)**I scrolled through the songs as I pulled a pot out of a cupboard. Instead of picking a song, I hit shuffle and the voice of Corinne Rae drifted through the speakers, singing Put Your Records On.

"Three little birds, sat on my window. And they told me I don't need to worry. Summer came like cinnamon, so sweet, little girls double-dutch on the concrete."I sang softly as I filled the pot with water and then set it on the stove top to boil. I prepared the sauce as I waited, adding the noodles once the water started to boil. The song changed into Take Five by Dave Brubeck and I hummed along with the saxophone as I got out plates, silverware, and glasses for drinks. The door bell rang in the middle of the drum solo and I shouted "Come in!" Emmett and Rosalie entered; Rosalie had been here before once or twice with Alice and made herself comfortable on the couch while Emmett looked around.

"Smells good, Bella, thanks for inviting us." I smiled back at him.

"I was getting bored; besides you guys are fun to have around." Edward entered the apartment then carrying a bowl of salad. I took it from him and placed it on the counter, then turned off the stove. "Hey, Edward." He smiled crookedly.

"Hello, Bella." He looked over at the radio because the saxophone had started back up again. "Dave Brubeck?" He asked, turning it up another notch. I nodded, humming the part, he hummed it next to me as well and I laughed. "I didn't take you for someone to listen to jazz." I shrugged, straining the water from the noodles in the sink.

"I listen to lots of things, except opera."I made a face and he chuckled. "Some rap really bothers me too…"

"What's this?" Edward asked when the song changed. I paused to listen for a second.

"Andy McKee." I answered. I nodded towards the radio. "He's one of the reasons I play, though I'll never be that good. I'd kill to have a small portion of his talent. The song is called Ebon Coast." My fingers danced across my leg and I was suddenly itching to pick up my guitar. I loved playing this song, I was in no way as good as Andy but I had heard worse and I took comfort in that.

"Hey, dinner is ready, come help yourself." I said loud enough for the others to hear. Everyone came in and helped themselves, Emmett eating enough for two people. When everyone was finishing up, the door opened again and Alice came in holding hands with Jasper.

"Hey, you guys." She said and there was a chorus of 'hi's' and just to bother her I said 'aww' really loud. She rolled her eyes and sat with Jasper on the love seat. She was still grinning hugely; she could give the Cheshire cat a run for his money if you asked me. I grabbed everyone's dishes and tossed them in the sink, I'd do them later when they left. I checked to make sure everyone looked preoccupied before I slipped into my room. They wouldn't miss me for five minutes, just one song. I pulled my guitar strap on and sat at my bed.

I let my fingers dance across the strings for a few seconds before playing the intro to Ebon Coast. I settled into the rhythm and though it still didn't sound like Andy McKee, I was impressed. After a couple minutes, the door suddenly opened and there stood Rosalie. "Oh, I'm sorry." She muttered. "I thought this was the bathroom…" She started to close the door.

"On your left." I said before the door snapped closed. There was a muffled thanks and then another door being closed and I set down my guitar. The trance had been broken and I didn't want to start over the song. I opened the door to leave and nearly rammed into Edward, whose hand dropped as if he'd been about to knock. "Um…hi." I said slowly.

"Hey." He took a step back to give me some room.

"Do you need anything?"

"No, I was just wondering where you were and Alice said you would be in here. She said to tell you to entertain you guests." He shrugged. "If there's something you need to do, we can leave." He raised an eyebrow at me and I shook my head quickly.

"No, of course you can stay. Um… do you want to see my room?" I said uncertainly.

He looked over my shoulder into my bedroom. "Sure." I let him in and he started to look around. I moved my guitar off my bed but my pick dropped so I set my guitar down and bent over to pick it up. My father's dog tags fell out of my shirt and I tucked my pick into my pocket and started to put the tags beneath my shirt but Edward caught my wrist.

I watched his expression as he read the dogs tags before he took my hand and smoothed out my fingers, setting them in my palm. He met my eyes as I replaced them under my shirt. He finally spoke after a minute, asking "Who's Charles?"

**A/N: Wow, another chapter you guys… I spent about a quarter to half my day writing this because I didn't have school on Friday. I wrote it kinda because I wanted to update again before I waited forever to write and because I had some free time on my hands. Again, I hope you guys liked it; this chapter was a bit longer. Oh, and I do not own any of the songs used. Okay, thanks for reading and please review and tell me what you think!! :D**


	9. Stories of a Lifetime

_**Chap. Title- Stories of a Lifetime* **_

_He met my eyes as I replaced them under my shirt. He finally spoke after a minute, asking "Who's Charles?"_

**EPOV**

I watched Bella turn and sit on her bed. She pulled her knees up to her face and rested her forehead on her knees for a long moment. After hesitating for a few seconds, I came and sat on the edge of bed, giving her a few feet of space. She was silent for a long time and I was starting to think she wasn't going to answer, when she looked up at me. "Charles Ryan Swan," She said quietly "was my father."

"Was?" I asked when I noticed the past tense.

Bella sighed. "Do you need to be anywhere any time soon?"I shook my head slowly and she bit her lip. "Before I was born, my father was drafted to fight in a war. My mom told him that she would wait for him and when he returned a year later, they got married." She paused in thought, looking intently at the bed sheets. "My parents loved each other very much, and when I was born a little under a year after they got married, they loved me a lot too. I've been told by relatives, that they treated me like an angel, that I was the most important thing to them." As she spoke, Bella pulled the dogs tags back out from under her shirt and slipped them over her head. "My dad got these in the war and he hardly ever took them off. My aunt told me that I always loved playing with them and whenever my parents both went out for whatever reason; my dad would let me wear them… He would say 'We'll be back soon, Bells, keep my tags safe for me while I'm gone.'" Bella stopped and her jaw clenched as she looked away. Her eyes closed for a long minute as I sat silently watching her. She finally took a deep breath and continued "One night, my parents were going out on a date and they left me with a baby-sitter. My dad gave me the tags and my mom, Renee, hugged me and told me to be good. It's one of the few, fading memories I have of them… A couple hours later, my aunt and uncle along with a police man came and took me away from home, as well as some of my things. I was taken to my aunt and uncles house who put me in the guest room and told me to get some sleep. I didn't know something was wrong so I did as I was told. The next day I asked them where my mom and dad were, they didn't answer me. I found out my parents had died later that day because I overheard a cop talking to my aunt and uncle, saying that they had both died in the hospital from fatal injuries. My parents died in a car accident with a drunk driver when I was only six years old." That was a similarity we had, both of our parents had died in a car accident. "For the first year, after they died, I never took off the dog tags in hopes that they would come back, even though I knew they were dead."

When I looked up, Bella was watching me with tears in her eyes, which she was desperately trying to keep from spilling over. "I'm sorry." I finally whispered, it sounded wrong but it was the only thing I could really say. I reached out and touched her hand and she let me.

"You know how friends come and go, right?" I nodded and she continued "Well, my whole life it's been the same for me, friends come and then go either from moving or just drifting apart. I've had very few really close friends outside of Alice. When I was in high school and living with my aunt and uncle, my very best friend was a girl by the name of Jessica. I have no idea why I was really close to her, now when I think back on it, but at the time we were pretty close, despite our differences.

"While I was in high school, one day I came home from school to find an empty house, empty of people and of a lot of my guardian's possessions. My aunt and uncle had just disappeared. There was no warning. I haven't heard from them since." She sighed and paused for a minute. "A week after they left, when I needed her most, Jessica dropped me. Some of her other friends told her that I was no fun anymore and not worth her time and she believed them. No matter what I tried she wouldn't talk to me after that, she hardly ever even looked at me. The state wouldn't allow me to live alone because at that point I was only sixteen, so my dad's brother moved in and became my new guardian. He's a more callous man, doesn't talk much, and he said more than once that the only reason he was there was because my aunt and uncles house was bigger than his. He sold his house and still lives there I think… I met Alice when I was seventeen, a year later, and I didn't trust her for a long time. I thought she might be another Jessica and I didn't need that in my life. As soon as I graduated, my dad's brother gave me his blessing and sent me on my way. Here I am now…" She looked up at me and her eyes searched mine. "Since I was little, everyone I've cared about as either died or left me. I find it hard to really trust people, and I unintentionally block people so I won't have to deal with the pain of getting to know them. If you don't love someone… then it won't hurt when they're gone, whether they left intentionally or not." A tear finally broke free and rolled down her cheek. She looked away, breaking the trance, and wiped it away.

Without really thinking about my actions or the possible consequences, I pulled Bella into my lap and wrapped my arms around her. Again, she didn't push away but her back was rigid. I had a feeling that she was trying not to get to close to me… so it wouldn't hurt when I was gone. "I'm not leaving." I murmured, but she just looked away from me. I touched her cheek, turning her head so she reluctantly looked at me. "I promise, I'm not leaving."

"Maybe not willingly." She replied softly, but she relaxed slightly. We sat in silence for a few minutes until Bella moved her arm so she could trace her finger down the visible scar on my right arm. I sighed and hoped she wouldn't ask about it, I had enough to think about right now, without pondering the horrors of my own past. She looked up at me and must have seen the reluctance because she didn't ask, but leaned against me and said nothing.

I breathed in her strawberry smell to chase away the memories that were starting to invade my mind. I didn't want the pain to taint this moment, not when I was trying to make Bella feel better. "Will I learn your past?" She asked quietly, breaking the silence.

"Yes." I would tell her, I had a feeling that she'd told me more of her own than she was used to telling, I would give her mine as well. Maybe she would trust me more for it. "When the time's right to tell you…"

"And that time isn't now." She stated even though it was phrased like a question.

I thought about that before answering. "No, I don't think so." I said absently. I rested my chin on the top of her head and she sighed, relaxing a little bit more. "Do you know how long we've been in here?" I asked.

She looked over at her clock "A little over an hour. We should probably head back to the others."

Neither of us moved. After another minute I sighed, "Yeah, I guess we should." I brushed my lips across Bella's hair before standing up and setting her on her feet. We both stretched and I stomped my feet a couple times, trying to get feeling back into them.

When we walked back into the living room, everyone stopped talking and looked up at us. Emmett, of course, laughed. "What have you guys been up to?"

I glared at him. "Nothing you'd think to consider."He just laughed again. Alice was watching Bella and they met each other's eyes. It looked like a silent communication passed between them where Bella's eyes flickered to me and then back to Alice before she finally looked away.

"What are you guys doing?" Bella asked.

"Just talking, about school and such." Jasper waved the hand that wasn't holding Alice's vaguely. I envied him for that, just being able to casually reach over and hold Alice's hand. I couldn't do that with anybody. I hadn't in a long time.

Bella touched my arm before sitting on the longer couch with Rosalie and Emmett. I followed her and sat between Rose and Bella. "Talking about school on the weekend? Wow, you guys have got problems." Bella teased them.

Alice shrugged. "Maybe we do, but I wouldn't be talking if I were you." She quirked an eyebrow at Bella who blushed.

"That's not fair, it caught me by surprise."

"By surprise?! You saw me set it!" Everyone was watching them, and I was sure I wasn't the only one who their conversation was totally lost on.

Bella threw up her hands in exasperation. "That doesn't mean I knew when it would come up!"

"You screamed because the toast popped out of a toaster!" Alice said and everyone seemed to finally understand what they were yelling about. Except Bella, everyone collapsed into laughter.

"It was right in front of my face." Bella whined and pouted slightly when no one stopped laughing.

"You were scared by a toaster?" Emmett asked through fits of laughter.

"Oh, shut up." She muttered and sat back with her arms folded.

"Ok, ok, it's done; let leave her with some of her pride." Rose said as she controlled herself. Emmett stopped laughing almost immediately and pulled Rose up onto his lap before pecking her on the lips once. Even though there was room for me to move over, I stayed where I was. I stopped laughing and playfully nudged Bella's shoulder with my own. She rolled her eyes at me but did it back.

"You're forgiven." She said jokingly and I smiled.

Everyone talked and joked for a while longer before we had to go back to our apartment. We said our goodbyes and Emmett and Rose went to Emmett's Jeep while I strolled out to my Volvo. I got in and put the key in the ignition, causing my car to purr to life. I peeled out of the parking lot, my thoughts revolving around brown eyes and the smell of strawberries.

**A/N: Ok, don't hate me or anything, but I actually had this done on Saturday night. :/I meant to update on Thursday night, but my brother was hogging the computer and then I was working at this school thing most of Friday night. So, you know Bella's story now, at more length. But what's the story behind Edward? Yeah, I'm not totally sure myself either. It's probably not wise to write the way I do, as I go, with about as much of an idea of what'll happen as you guys have but whatever. Hope you liked it, feel free to review please!! I love anonymous and signed reviews, whichever floats your boat :P**


	10. Falling Slowly

**Random Disclaimer: I don't own any songs used or Twilight.**

_I peeled out of the parking lot, my thoughts revolving around brown eyes and the smell of strawberries._

**BPOV**

Monday went without a hitch, Alice and I followed the same routine we always followed. Instead of lying around most of the day, I tried to write for my story, but I had a major case of writer's block. I only got out a couple pages and they sounded forced, so I kept them for a small guide in case, but I didn't type them up.

Now, Alice was sitting at the kitchen table typing away at her laptop and I was standing at the kitchen counter working on lasagna. We didn't talk too much because Alice was so busy concentrating and I was getting kind of bored when the phone rang. I picked it up and put it on speaker so I could keep working. "Hello?"

"Bella? Hey, it's Edward." I paused for a second and Alice looked up, suddenly very interested in what I was doing.

"Hey, Edward, what's up?"

"Um, I'm just going to get to the point, um…" He paused for a few seconds, sighing. I could see him rubbing the back of his neck in my mind.

"Just tell me Edward." I said, smiling.

"Would you do a duet with me on Tuesday morning at Macy's? I already talked to the manager and he said it was a great idea… He said you've worked there before?"

"Uh… I have, a couple times." Alice and I were staring at each other with wide eyes. Alice looked excited and I was feeling horrified. I wanted to sing with Edward, that wasn't the problem, I was sure we'd sound pretty good together. I was more afraid of singing in front of everyone else, I'd done it before, but it always scared me before hand. "Uh…" I winced, what was I going to tell him?

"Of course, she'll sing with you Edward!" Alice jumped in. "Why don't you pick her up at 7:30? You start at 8, right?" I nodded.

"That sounds good, but do you _want_ to sing with me, Bella?" Alice looked put-off that Edward was giving me a choice.

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'll sing with you. See you tomorrow at 7:30?"

"7:30. Good night, Bella."

I smiled "Good night, Edward." He hung up and Alice shrieked, making me cover my ears. She wrapped me in skinny arms and started bouncing up and down.

"I'm so happy for you!" She yelled.

"For what? I'm just going to sing with Edward… Oh, my gosh, I'm singing with Edward at Macy's. Do you think I'll need my guitar?" I started to freak out. "What if I mess up and make him sound bad? What if I fall on stage? What if I," Alice covered my mouth, halting my audible worrying.

"You will do great. Edward will be amazing too." I let my worry show in my eyes and she sighed. "Don't make this a big deal; you'll do better if you pretend you're just singing with him in the car again." She smiled and sat back down. "Just take a few deep breaths." I did as she said and put the lasagna in the oven, not feeling much better.

I woke up early the next morning to straighten my hair and put on some clothes slightly nicer than my usual casual attire. I wore a deep blue, v-neck, long-sleeved shirt over black skinny jeans. My outfit had already been pre-approved by Alice…Okay, she chose it. I waited out in the living room with Alice, who sat on the couch across from me, and picked at the strings on my guitar absently. Alice had called in sick and was going to meet Jasper at the cafe a little after Edward and I got there. I'd nearly played my fingers raw last night trying to play as many of the songs I knew, Alice stopped me before I could start bleeding fortunately.

When the door bell rang, Alice told me to wait a few seconds before getting up and answering it. "Hey, Edward." I smiled at him. He held out some freesias and I took them slowly from his hand. That wasn't expected. I remembered telling him once that freesias were my favorite flowers, but usually you forgot the answers people gave you to questions in games like '20 Questions.' "Thank you." I murmured softly, I'd never gotten flowers before. I sniffed them and smiled at the beautiful blooms. Then I winced "I didn't get you anything."

"You're singing with me, I already got my gift." He smiled crookedly and I blushed.

"Um, let me put these in water, come on in." I held the door open for him and walked into the kitchen to put the flowers in a vase.

"Hey, Alice, how are you?" I heard Edward ask Alice in the living room.

"I'm great and you?"

"I'm having a good day." I could hear the smile in his voice and it made me smile. I walked back out of the kitchen. "Ready to go, Bella?"

"Yep, are we going in your car?"

"Yeah." As we walked out the apartment door with a good-bye to Alice, I linked my arm with Edward's and he laughed, but continued to lead me down the stairs. "How was your Monday?"

I made a face. "Boring as ever, yours?" He just shrugged. He opened the passenger door to his car and I got in, setting my guitar between my legs. "Am I going to even need my guitar?" I asked as he pulled out of his parking space.

"I would bring it; I'd like to hear you play." I blushed and looked out the window.

"What songs will we be playing?"

He shrugged. "We'll probably each do a couple instrumentals, play a few songs we both know, and then take requests. They also have an amp and electric guitar if the song calls for it. I nodded and we lapsed into silence for the rest of the ride. It wasn't like when we first met, the silence was comfortable.

When we parked in front of Macy's, I got out of the car, thanking the skies for not raining down on my guitar or me. Edward held the café's door open for me and led the way to where the manager was standing on the stage, checking the microphones. "Hello, Edward, Bella. It's nice to have you back Miss Swan, it's been a while." Said the small, balding man; he shook my hand and then Edward's.

"It's nice to see you too, sir." He smiled.

"I'll pay you guys after the show; ten dollars every hour, plus tips, each. Bella, why don't you set your guitar case open at the bottom of the stage for tips?" I did just that and slung my guitar over my back. Subconsciously, I moved a couple inches further away from Edward then I already was so I wouldn't hit him with the neck of my guitar. "Now, you guys can set up and we'll open the doors in ten minutes."

An hour and a half later, the café was a bit over half full and Edward and I had each played two instrumentals and some songs we knew. We were now taking requests. Alice and Jasper sat at a table, watching us and talking. I smiled when I saw their hands clasped together under the table.

A woman, not much older than myself, stood up from a table with a man sitting at it. She walked over to the stage and I covered my microphone so she could talk to me. "Do you know 'Falling Slowly' from the movie Once?" She asked quietly.

"With Glen Hansard?" I asked hopefully. That was one of my favorite songs; I had never played it _for_ anybody. She nodded and I looked back at Edward who was leaning toward us to catch the conversation, he nodded as well to signal he knew the song. "Yeah, we can play that." The girl flashed a smile and left to sit back down at her table.

When I thought about the string instruments that usually accompanied the song, I winced. "Is something wrong?" Edward asked softly and I shrugged.

"It'll just sound a little funny without the strings, that's all." Edward started at me for a moment and I was about to ask him what he was looking at when he suddenly stood. "Where are you going?"

"One minute."He left the stage and disappeared into the back break room. I stared after him for a second and then looked at the crowd uneasily. How long was he going to be gone? Should I play?

As promised, Edward returned a minute later with an excited looking Angela. "You play violin?!" I whisper-yelled at her.

She nodded "For three, almost four, years." Edward smiled at me. "I have the sheet music for this song; I've played it a few times."

"Oh, that's awesome, you'll play with us?" I grinned at her and then Edward.

"I'd be honored to." She set up a stand and Edward sat at the piano.

"One, two, three, four." Edward counted off softly and I started plucking at the strings of my guitar while Edward started singing. _"__I don't know you, but I want you all the more for that."_ I was excited to seriously sing with Edward for the first time, and on one of my favorite songs.

"_Words fall through me and always fool me and I can't react."_ We both sang and then Edward continued again on his own. Our voices sounded so good together, I never wanted to sing without him again…

"_And games that never amount to more than they're meant, will play themselves out." _I started strumming softly and we sang together again, to my great pleasure.

"_Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time. Raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you'll make it now."_ I went back to plucking at the strings along with Edward's soft playing. _"Falling slowly, eyes that know me and I can't go back. Moods that take me and erase me, and I'm painted black."_ I stopped singing and turned my head to watch Edward. Our eyes met and he smiled at me, his green eyes glowing. I remembered when I had first met him, how emotionless his eyes looked and compared to now, he seemed a different person.

"_You have suffered enough and warred with yourself, it's time that you won."_ Those words hit a little close to home for me. Would I be winning soon? That would be nice, maybe I'd become closer to Jasper, Emmett, Rose, and Edward. That would be a victory I wouldn't complain about. I started strumming again and I smiled when Angela joined us at just the perfect moment with the perfect amount of volume.

"_Take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time. Raise your hopeful voice, you had a choice, you've made it now."_ I couldn't help looking at Edward again when I sang my favorite part with him. _"Falling slowly, sing your melody, I'll sing along."_ Angela played a little louder as I kept up my strumming. Edward played his part without looking and after holding out one last note with us, Angela stopped playing while I continued picking at the strings of my guitar.

All the people I had forgotten about burst into applause and I almost fell off my stool. "I would like to thank Angela Weber for helping us with that song." Edward said and Angela bowed slightly, she waved and then walked off the stage back into the break room. I looked back at Edward and he smiled at me crookedly. I was more than a little annoyed that the song was over, Edward's voice was beautiful… There was no way to even describe his piano playing, even with such a simple part it was so… Edward. It was the only word that jumped out from my extensive vocabulary when thinking about his playing.

The manager came up to the stage, handed each of us envelopes with our pay checks, said we could go, and tossed two five dollar bills into my guitar case before he walked away. Edward said a few words of thanks to the crowd and Alice and Jasper exchanged a few words of congratulations before leaving with some of the other customers. Edward and I knelt by my guitar case and collected tips, around fifty dollars, and split it down the middle. I placed my guitar into my case gently and Edward held out a hand to help me up. We walked out into the light drizzle and I quickly put my guitar in the back seat. I closed the door and turned around to get into the passenger seat but ran into Edward's chest.

"Sorry." He said, steadying me. "Um, Bella…there's something I want." He finally said and his eyes looked a little worried though his face was blank. I held in my sigh, I didn't like that he tried to hide his emotions, even when I could usually read them plainly in his eyes.

"What's that?"

"I…I want to take you somewhere that's important to me. And I want to tell you my story." He looked up from his feet and I searched his expression to no avail.

"I'd like that." I finally said, I wanted to hear his story, but I also didn't want him to tell me if he only felt obligated. "You _want _to?"

"I want to." I smiled and he returned it with a small half-smile.

"Okay." He opened my car door and let me in, then walked around the car and got in. "It's not too far from here, at the most an hour away."

We drove for a few minutes in silence, the only sound being the soft patter of rain drops on the car's roof, until I spoke. "So, why is now the right time to tell me your story?"

He looked over at me briefly before returning his eyes to the road. "I want to tell someone, and I'd rather tell you than anyone else." I smiled softly; it was always nice to hear you were preferred.

My smile faded as I thought about when I'd told him about my own life. "You know… I didn't even tell Alice as much of my story as I told you." My voice was barely above a whisper as I watched the buildings start to space out as we got closer to city bounds. "How can I have known you for such a short time and trust you that much, when I've known Alice for years and she doesn't know it all?" I turned in my seat and searched his eyes for answers that weren't there.

"I don't know." Edward whispered and he reached over to take my hand, squeezing gently. The contact was welcome. We fell back into silence and I was distracted by the perfect temperature of Edward's hand. It was an odd thing to notice, but I liked that it wasn't so warm my hand was sweating, but it wasn't ice cold either.

I sat back in my seat and laid Edward's hand on my left one so it was palm up and open. I traced my finger down the lines in his palm, up to the light calluses on his fingertips from playing piano. "I don't understand why some people don't like calluses… I think it shows experience of some kind, and if you have a callus from something because you did it so much, you usually love the reason you have the callus." I shrugged and smiled when I saw Edward's watching me from the corner of his eye, not completely forgetting the road even though there were hardly any cars where we were.

He thought for a moment. "I think you're right, having a callus is actually a good thing I think…" I twined my fingers with his like he had before and leaned my head back on the head rest. "We're about ten minutes away. Do you want to hear a really powerful piece of music?" He asked suddenly I nodded and he hit the power button on his radio, flipped to CD 3, and hit play on track 10. "This called Lux Aeterna by Clint Mansell." I'd heard of Mansell, but not the song.

Half way into the song, Edward pulled over onto the side of the road and sat back, closing his eyes. He conducted with his hand that wasn't still holding mine and I smiled as I watched him. I listened intently and decided to put the song on my iPod the minute I got home. When the song came to an end Edward kept his eyes closed as he flipped off the radio. We stayed quiet, letting the music ring through our heads. Then Edward sat up. "What did you think?"

"That was breath-taking, the strings were amazing." He smiled, seemingly pleased with my answer. He let go of my hand to get out of the car and the absence immediately annoyed me, but I shook off the feeling and got out as well. Edward led the way into the woods and I started to slow my pace a little bit so I wouldn't fall as much. Edward still had to catch me twice. "Are we there yet?" I whined after a while and Edward laughed.

"Just about, here." He covered my eyes with his hand and I stopped, I tried to pull his hand away.

"Do you really think that's smart? I've already fallen twice when I was going slow and able to see." I scowled at the darkness Edward had induced.

"Umm… ok, here we go." Suddenly I was being lifted and I could tell Edward was holding me sideways under one arm with the other hand still covering my eyes. I froze, not struggling like I usually might've done.

"Edward, if you drop me…"I warned and he chuckled, somehow I froze even further when he started to walk forward.

"Don't worry; I'm not going to drop you." I didn't reply, hoping if I didn't he would concentrate on his balance more. A minute later, Edward stopped and set me on my feet. "Ready?" His voice was excited and I couldn't help smiling.

"Yes, Edward, I'm ready." He removed his hands and I opened my eyes, shocked by what I saw.

**A/N: OK, I'm pretty happy with this chapter :)**** I expect a lot of reviews, so don't let me down, you do want to hear Edward's story right? Well, prove it :P Cause reviews make me happy, why wouldn't they?! Links to the songs used are on my profile and if you can't find one, just ask me in a review or PM. Life is still a little crazy, but guess what?? I have 26 days left until school's out, including weekends! Woo, summer's almost here! I'll update when I can, but I guarantee it'll go faster if you review!! :D**


	11. Fearless

"_Yes, Edward, I'm ready." He removed his hands and I opened my eyes, shocked by what I saw._

**EPOV**

Bella was amazed by the meadow, just like I had been when I first saw it. She immediately bent down to smell the flowers and smiled hugely when I told her this is where I got the freesias I'd given her earlier. I watched her walk around, examining different flowers and such, from where I sat in the middle of the meadow. She finally sat down in front of me, crossing her legs. "Today has been amazing." She sighed and I smiled.

"For me too, I don't think I'll forget singing with you easily." I grinned and she blushed, looking down. I sighed, I'd told her I wanted to tell her about myself, and it was the right time, place, right person… I just didn't know where to start. "Okay…um, where do you want me to start?" I was half asking, half thinking out loud.

"It would be easiest to follow if you started at the beginning." She smiled slightly and humor danced in her eyes as I sighed again. There was more than one place that could be considered a beginning in my story.

"Okay… Emmett was born a year before me and when we were young our mom, Elizabeth, took care of us. She wasn't the best mom in the world but she did what she could with the hand she was dealt. My father, on the other hand, ignored us. If we couldn't be ignored, _Edward Sr._ would yell at us." I hated my name because of him; I used to flinch whenever someone called my name. "We both hated him at a young age. One time, when Emmett was about ten and I nine, we vowed to each other that when we were older we would be a better father, a better husband, and a better man than our father." I looked off into space as I recalled the memories. Few were pleasant ones. I glanced at Bella, who was watching me with a frown, before returning my gaze to the gray sky.

"Edward? Please tell me this isn't a part of the story?" I watched her face as she traced a finger down the scar on my arm. When her eyes met mine, they were anguished and I looked away.

"Edward Sr. could only ignore us for so long though." I continued, not yet answering her question. "My mom wouldn't allow him to hurt us though, whenever he started to get mad she'd find a way to get us out of the house." I took a deep breath before continuing on to the next part of the tale. "One day, I walked into my parent's bedroom right when he slapped her across the face. He was furious at being caught and decided he would make sure I wouldn't rat him out…" I paused in thought.

"Why didn't Elizabeth leave him?" Bella asked suddenly.

"Well, she married him because she loved him, that and he didn't show his true colors until after they were married. She stayed with him because of us." I sighed and Bella scooted closer to me and took my hand into both of hers. I stared at her hands as I spoke "Anyway, when I caught him, he was furious, that night I went to bed with a black eye and sprained wrist." Bella gasped softly but I didn't look up, I didn't want to see the pity in her eyes; the pity that was always there when my parents first died and the news got out. "That first time was like some kind of passage, he realized he could beat us and none of us could do anything about it or he just threatened the other two. Keep it safe to say that that wasn't the last time Emmett or I were beaten." If I'd thought Bella's eyes were anguished before, there wasn't even a name for the emotion on her face now. Her eyes were shining with tears and I squeezed her hand.

Bella laughed breathlessly, almost a sob. "Here you are telling me that your _father beat_ _you_ and yet I'm the one being comforted." She shook her head.

"My wounds have healed for the most part. Yours won't be so easily dealt with."

"Not all of your wounds are external, Edward." I looked away, into the trees and away from her intense gaze.

"I don't remember many of the beatings in detail, only that they happened about once a week, and that he only tried to hurt us were it couldn't be seen. Most of my scars are on my chest and back." Absently, I touched the scar that barely stuck out from under my shirt, I couldn't remember how I'd gotten that one, but it wasn't the worst.

"Do you remember the story for the one on your arm?" She asked softly.

"Yes. My father was supposed to be out of town for three days to New York, and my mom decided we were going to finally leave him. This was in my first year of high school. We immediately started packing up the car, but he forgot something and came back. Emmett wasn't hurt too much; he'd gone to the store to get us some food so we could stay on the road as long as possible. My mom and I got the brunt of the beating. When he saw us, he flew into a rage, worse than any of the others. He started throwing things out of the car, a suitcase hit my mom and she hit the ground with a loud crack, it broke two of her ribs and she didn't move after that. She'd been knocked unconscious. He threw some more things and I grabbed his arm trying to stop him." I was lost in the memory and I could still see the ferocity on his face when he'd suddenly pulled a serrated blade from a hidden sheathe. "Suddenly, he pulled a knife on me and I raised up my arms to block my face when he slashed. He cut down my arm and then knocked me on the side of the head… Emmett told me that he came home then and mom was wrapping me up in bandages and trying to get me to wake up. He said there had been a lot of blood, it actually scared Emmett…She told him what had happened and that we wouldn't be leaving. They both died in a car accident two years later when I was seventeen." Neither of us said anything for a long time.

I stood up, letting Bella's hands slide of mine, and started pacing. I didn't look at her. I wasn't sure how she would take this. Would she think I had a side like my father? She didn't think I could do something so heinous, did she? Or would she treat me like a poor, lost puppy, showing only pity? That was almost as bad, either way it would kill me for her to change how she was around me. I turned around and Bella was standing as well, watching me with worried eyes. At least she didn't seem to be afraid. She bit her lip and seemed to be debating, but then she walked forward and wrapped her arms around my waist. "What'd he do to you?" She whispered.

I hugged her back. "He made me who I am—the opposite of him." Bella looked up at me and smiled gently, though her eyes were slightly red from unshed tears. We stood there, swaying a little, hugging each other. I found myself reluctant to let go, but eventually we did. I'd always been one for the comfort of touch; it was nice to know someone was always there.

We returned to our spot in the grass and I lay down. Bella did as well and we watched the clouds slide across the sky for a long time. It looked like it was threatening rain but that was okay, rain had never bothered me, it was too common here and I just loved that kind of weather. Bella propped herself up on her elbow so she could see my face and we started at each other for a second, before I moved to mimic her position. "Thank you for opening up to me." I half-smiled and nodded.

"You're welcome." I flopped back down to my former position but Bella stayed where she was, still watching me. I tried to ignore her gaze as I thought. Maybe she wouldn't treat me different. She seemed to be sad for me, but she didn't seem to pity me either. She also wasn't treating me like a small child who was afraid of the dark. There was no fear in her emotion-filled brown eyes. Suddenly Bella sighed next to me and I looked up to see her stand. I sat up as she started to walk away, to the edge of the trees, where she stood with her arms folded over her chest. "Is something wrong?" I asked, walking up behind her. Maybe she'd rethought the whole not being afraid thing.

"Did you purposely show hardly any emotion when you were telling me about your childhood? Do you do it so often that it's automatic now?"She asked softly, still looking into the forest.

"What do you mean?"

"Well, I can see what you're feeling fairly plainly in your eyes, it just bothers me that you don't often show emotion on your face, but to smile. Sometimes, it doesn't even seem like you're truly smiling, just moving the muscles to keep everyone else happy."She didn't look at me and I was surprised by the train of thought her mind had followed. I knew _sometimes _I didn't show my emotion, but it wasn't that bad was it?

"I show emotion." I felt my eyebrows pull together. Was it really so easy to read right through me and still see the healing pain? I smiled to keep everyone happy as she had said; I had to be strong for Emmett, because even though he was stronger physically, he was still kind of fragile emotionally. I'd had more of a reason to smile lately though and I knew Emmett and Rose could both see it.

Her eyes snapped up to my face. "Only when you're doing it on purpose, most people do it without thinking." I shrugged.

"I guess I'm just a little more secretive than most. I'll try and open up more, I promise. I don't mean to be cold or emotionless."

"You're neither." Bella hugged me again briefly "Like you said, you just seem to be a little secretive. Try loosening up a bit more." She pulled away and pulled me back to lay down in the meadow.

We started laughing when it started sprinkling. "Rain always reminds me of this one song…"

"What song is that?"

"The beginning of 'Fearless' by Taylor Swift."

I thought for a moment searching the music in my head. "I don't think I know that one… Will you sing it for me?" I asked tentatively. She looked from the sky, to me, and back, her expression calculating. Then she shrugged and I grinned, taking it has a yes.

"There's somethin' 'bout the way, the street looks when it's just rained,  
There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car.  
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there,  
In the middle of the parking lot, yeah." She sang softly, and the song gave me an idea.

I stood up and pulled Bella up with me. "What are you doing?" She asked when I rested one hand on her waist and took her other free hand in mine.

"Listening to the song and loosening up a bit. I mean, we're not in a parking lot, but it's the thought that counts isn't it?" I asked and she laughed as I twirled her. We swayed on the spot, kind of dancing; I didn't want Bella to fall. For the next twenty minutes or so, we danced to no music, except when one of us sang a couple lines from some song we liked.

When we both paused to think about a new song Bella suddenly said "I think I have a song for everything." I dipped her slightly, making her yelp out of surprise before bringing her back up. "Be careful, we're already pushing my luck."I ignored that last comment.

"Oh, really? You have a song for _everything_?"

She shrugged and then nodded "Yep, I think I might."

"What about me?" What song comes to mind?" She met my eyes and we stared at each other for a minute.

"I don't know, I've never really thought about it." She admitted slowly.

"But now that you have?"

She smiled cheekily "I won't tell you; it's a secret." She laughed and I scowled at her.

"Why can't I know?" I pouted at her but she turned away before I could get her to look at me.

"I know Alice to well to fall for that, Edward, and you can't know because I said so."

"That's not a real reason; I won't let this go that easy." She just shrugged.

"Well, then I hope you can live with the disappointment, because I'm not telling you." She stuck her tongue out at me and turned to run away. I jumped forward and grabbed her around the waist, sending us both tumbling to the grass. I sat on top of her in a way that she was pinned but wasn't crushed by my weight. "Edward, what are you doing?" She asked with horrified eyes.

"Oh, nothing." I said innocently, and then attacked her sides.

"Edward!" She shrieked and tried to get out from under me. "No, stop! Edward!" I tickled her harder and she collapsed into hysterics. "Uncle Charlie!" She gasped but I still didn't get off. I let her go when she seemed to be having actual trouble breathing and I collapsed back into the grass in my own fit of laughs. When she caught her breath she sat up and smacked my arm. "Jerk." She mumbled and I chuckled.

"You know you don't mean that." I lay back in the grass and she lay down next to me. I looked at my watch "I think we missed the sunset, not that there's ever one to really see… I would say we should stay and try to find some constellations once the stars come out, but you can't really see them so…yeah." We lapsed into silence, sometimes pointing out a star we saw through the clouds instead of constellations we could see.

"I should get home." Bella finally said. "Alice is probably worried about me. Want to take bets on how many messages she's left on my phone that's in your car?" I laughed and she smiled.

We started walking into the forest when I decided to jokingly take her up on her offer. "I'll bet you a quarter that there are five or less messages from Alice."Bella laughed and shook her head slowly.

"Okay, and if there's more, I get the quarter." We shook hands on it.

I paused for a moment. "…How big is my chance of getting the quarter?" I finally asked her. I was pretty sure I knew the answer to that.

"I'd say about microscopic."

"Can I back out and keep my quarter?" I knew the answer to this too.

"Nope." She popped the 'p' and I rolled my eyes, pretending to be annoyed.

"Can we change it to a penny then?" I continued, as if I needed the quarter.

"No, your quarter is as good as mine." She stuck her tongue out at me and jumped into the car that had just come into view, not giving me time to do anything to her or open the door.

I got in and Bella was fishing her phone out of a small compartment built into her guitar case. "Nice purse." I commented and she rolled her eyes, pulling the phone out.

She turned it on as I pulled away from the road and did a U-turn to head back to her apartment.

"Ha, there are seven messages!" Bella practically yelled and I swerved a little in surprise.

"Hey, I'm driving here!" I yelled back, not quite as loud.

"Sorry." She said at a more normal level. She giggled and did a little victory like dance in her seat. "I won, I won." She sang doing the cabbage-patch.

"That has got to be the worst dance move ever invented." I said, flipping a coin into her laugh that she tucked into her pocket. "I mean, _everyone_ can do the cabbage patch, it's an odd dance."

"Well, then it's for the dancing impaired, the only reason you don't like it is because you can actually dance." She scowled in my direction and I half shrugged.

"I still think it's an odd dance."I muttered and Bella chuckled. I didn't speak while Bella listened to her messages, alternating between laughing and shaking her head.

"She's having a panic attack." Bella rolled her eyes and put her phone into her pocket. "She's tried threatening, pleading, and then just plain yelling at me, she must really have something to tell me…"

"Why don't you call her?" Bella shrugged and dialed a number.

"Hey Alice." I heard a high-pitched shriek come from the phone and Bella pulled it a couple inches from her face.

"I'm with Edward. I'll be home soon, we're in Seattle now…Alice, chill, you can tell me when I get home, okay? There's no need to have a heart attack… Is Jasper there?...Okay, I'll see you soon…Bye." Bella hung up and looked over at me. "I think she's going to ambush me as soon as I walk in the door, what do I do?"

"I don't think I can help you there." I answered and she sighed.

"Yeah, I don't think anyone could really save me at this point." We pulled into the parking lot of her apartment complex and I got out and opened her door for her. She got her guitar and we walked towards her building.

When we got to the stairs, Bella linked her arm with mine and I laughed, which caused Bella to roll her eyes. "Hey, it's either this or I die, and I don't think you have _that_ many boy cooties."

"Why, thank you, I wouldn't be too sure of Emmett, though." I warned and she giggled.

"Yeah, I'll keep my distance from him." We arrived at her floor and Bella let go of my arm as we continued down the hall.

We arrived at her door. "Um, Bella?" I winced mentally; this had better not mess things up or I'll never forgive myself. She turned to face me, leaning her guitar case against the door frame. "There's something else I want." I leaned my palm on the wall next to her head.

"Can I help?" I smirked slightly.

"Well, yeah, it kinda depends on you actually." I watched her for a reaction but she just stared back at me with warm brown eyes.

"And?" She prompted gently.

"I think I should show you, instead of tell you." I answered slowly.

"Okay, you can show me Edward." I smiled crookedly and then timidly rested my left hand on the wall on the other side of her head. Bella automatically backed up and bumped into the wall with her back. I leaned my head down and met her eyes briefly before leaning forward further and touching my lips to hers hesitantly. She kissed me back just as softly and we stood there for an ever-lasting moment, connected by the kiss. And then I pulled away; I didn't want to push her too far.

Bella bit her lip and looked at me for a long time before finally smiling and saying "Good night, Edward."

"Good night, Bella." She smiled again and slipped into her apartment without another word.

**A/N: OK, two big things happened in this chapter so if I don't get a bunch of reviews, I'm gonna feel robbed… I don't really know what that feels like and I don't want to find out! So, review, review, review and I'll update! :D Oh, and I need your help guys, one of my friends, _the brunette writer_, needs more readers on her story Losing and Finding, in my opinion, I think she deserves more. So go check her out while I write the next chapter, kay? Okay. You review—I update; thank you for reading!! **


	12. Edward Anthony

_Bella bit her lip and looked at me for a long time before finally smiling and saying "Good night, Edward."_

"_Good night, Bella." She smiled again and slipped into her apartment without another word._

**Picking up right where we left off…**

**BPOV**

I quietly closed my apartment door behind me. I leaned back against the door and slowly slid down into a sitting position. Edward had kissed me. Edward Masen had me kissed me, Bella Swan. I reached up and touched my still tingling lips. I'd been kissed before, but not quite like that. He was gentle, not desperate or forceful. He went at a slow pace and didn't push me. I sighed as I thought about it. I knew I was dead then, I had a school girl crush on Edward Masen. There was a voice in the back of my mind that said this could work but it was nearly buried by my senses screaming at me that only hurt could result from a relationship. That one little beam of hope was hard to see through the doubt…

"Bella!" I jumped at Alice's voice.

"Oh, hey," I smiled. "sorry that I worried you, Ali."

"Why are you sitting on the ground?" She propped my guitar case against the wall and then helped me up. I just shrugged and she pulled me over to the couch. "I'm going to get ice cream and blankets, and then you're going to tell me everything that happened while you were gone." She said and then rushed into the kitchen. I stood and slipped my shoes off, before going to my room and putting on some comfortable sweats for PJ's. I grabbed two pillows off my bed and a spare blanket.

Walking back into the living/family room, Alice was bundled up in her own blanket, holding a bucket of ice cream with two spoons. I tossed her a pillow and threw my own onto the couch. I saw the vase of flowers that Edward given to me earlier and I bent to sniff them before I sat. I wrapped my own blanket around me. I took a bite of ice cream and Alice turned serious. "Tell me everything."

So I did. Well, almost everything. I didn't tell her about Edward being beaten, he'd trusted me with that and I wouldn't tell unless I knew it was okay. She aww'd when I told her about the dancing in the rain and went completely berserk when I told her about Edward kissing me.

"Oh, my gosh, he's so perfect for you, Bella!" She hugged me tightly.

"I haven't even known him that long, how do you know he's 'the one?'" I put air quotes around 'the one.'

Alice sat back. "Okay, then what makes you so sure he's not perfect?" She raised an eyebrow at me. She had me there. The only argument I had was that he might leave me. Was it worth the risk? The hurt?

"I don't know, Alice, I just don't want to end up getting in too deep and then being crushed when he leaves."

"What if he doesn't leave? Not everyone will leave you, Bella, I'm still here." She said gently and I sighed.

"I just don't want to put my heart out so easily." I muttered. Alice seemed to shift into speech mode and I paid more attention to what she was saying, hoping for a wise piece of advice.

"Okay, I am not saying you should wear your heart on your sleeve or anything, Bella, but if you don't put your heart out there and into the relationship, what is it but a charade? An empty act? Sure, it's not smart to just dangle your heart in front of guys like bait, but if you keep hiding to never get hurt by guys, aren't you just setting yourself up to get hurt by the one person you're supposed to always be able to trust? Yourself? To find love you've got to be willing to sacrifice, Bella, you know that. You might be heartbroken, but if you don't take the risk it will never mend either."Alice stared at me for a long moment, making sure I got the message. And I did. I was going to trust Edward, I was going to fall and hope that he caught me, for fear I'd never completely trust again.

She took a huge bite of ice cream and we sat in silence for a few seconds before Alice dropped her spoon into the bucket and grabbed her head, groaning. "Ow, major brain freeze." I laughed and took a bite of ice cream smaller than hers.

"So, how's Jasper?" I asked nonchalantly, but it seemed to get rid of her brain freeze immediately.

"As amazing as ever." She answered beaming. "He's so unbelievably sweet, I have no idea how I got someone as fantastic as him for a soul mate…" She stared off into space dreamily.

"Well, you are pretty fantastic yourself." I said and she shrugged like I'd told her something that was common knowledge. I giggled, shaking my head. "Look, it's late, I spent forever telling you about my day, now I need to rest up for classes tomorrow. Good night, Alice." I stood and walked back into my room with my pillow and blanket after hugging her. "Sleep well." I called over my shoulder in the direction of the kitchen, where I could barely hear her quiet footfalls.

"You too." She called back and I closed my door behind me. I flipped the light off and lay down on top of my bed covers. I stared at the ceiling as I relived my day again. I wished I could spend every day like that with Edward; it had been very nearly perfect. It would have been if Edward didn't have a horrible father. He couldn't even be called a father; he seemed little more than human. How could you do something so cruel to the people you love? I had no idea how Emmett and Edward could be like they were after having to live like that. Emmett seemed to always be loud and just…happy. Then, Edward, though shyer than his older brother, was still extremely kind, gentle, and polite. He was kind of old-fashioned really.

I sighed and rolled onto my stomach, pulling the covers up and around me. I listened to the rain falling hard outside. It made me smile, because now it didn't just remind me of Taylor Swift's music, it reminded me of Edward, and how careless he'd seemed when he'd danced with me. I knew I liked him now, just like a little school girl. You'd think I was too old and mature for that. What with his crooked smile, shining green eyes, chivalry, sense of humor, and his love for music that also showed his determination, you'd think girls would be falling all over themselves for him.

I wondered if he could ever '_like_ like' me back, just like in elementary and junior high. I doubted it. He was an angel sent here for some reason that was beyond me. If I pushed a relationship and he returned the feelings, would I ruin our friendship? I wanted whoever I was with to be a companion, friend, comforter, and someone to love, not just one or two of them. Edward had proven himself as a comforter and friend.

I sighed again and tried to concentrate on the darkness for a moment, willing my body to relax. _Sleep, Bella, come on, you can do it._ I closed my eyes and tried not to think much again. Instead I thought of one of 'Edward's Songs' and let it play over and over in my head until I drifted into oblivion.

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I woke up when my alarm clock went off the next morning and got in the shower. I relaxed a little and got out to change into some jeans, a long sleeved shirt, and a water proof jacket. It was starting to get chilly in Seattle, it would start snowing in the next couple weeks probably. Alice was drinking some homemade coffee when I walked into the kitchen. "Morning, Alice." I said, pouring myself some cereal.

"Morning, Bella. Hey, guess what?"

"Hm?" I took a bite of Captain Crunch.

"Your birthday is in three days." She smiled and I gagged.

"What?!"

"Your birthday is in three days." She repeated "You're turning twenty."

"I knew that part, wow, is it really that time of year?"I knew it was coming up, but, _dang_, that was fast!

"Yep, and we're taking you to a party on Saturday. I made the plan with the others while you were with Edward." I groaned and pouted at Alice who just smiled back innocently.

"Alice, you know I don't like parties." I pleaded but she just shook her head.

"This'll be different; we'll be with the others now. Don't worry, it'll be great." I had to go so I placed my bowl into the dishwasher and pulled my messenger bag on over my shoulder.

"I gotta go; I'll talk to you later, okay? Bye, Alice."

"See ya, Bella." She waved and I walked out the door. I carefully made my way down the stairs and out of the apartment building, walking past my old and rustic truck to the streets. I put the earphones of my iPod in and hit shuffle. The beginning guitar from "Send Me On My Way" by Rusted Root began and I smiled as it reminded me of the movie "Matilda," which always reminded me of my aunt and uncle before they left. It was one of my favorite movies as a child, and even though I didn't know half the things the song said, it still made me happy.

I screamed when someone covered my eyes and said "Guess who?" and nearly fell on my face. Some people stopped to stare and I whirled around just to see Edward leaning against the wall of a building laughing his fool head of. I smacked his shoulder.

"Never do that again Edward…What's your middle name?"

"Anthony."He barely got out.

"Oh, I love that name." I smiled and he shook his head, still laughing. "Never do that again, Edward Anthony Masen, not if you want to see tomorrow!"He stopped laughing for a second.

"Oh, so now you're threatening me?" He started laughing again and I glared for a second before turning on my heel to walk away. Too bad I tripped and started falling only to have Edward catch me. He was still shaking with laughter so I thanked him stiffly and continued on my way with what pride I had left. "Wait, no, Bella!" He called after me but I continued walking, we were still getting weird looks from people. "Oh, come on, can't you take a joke?!" He yelled and I turned to see him trying to gather his composure and follow me. Upon my glare, he collapsed back into laughter.

"Get your butt over here, Masen!" I yelled at him from twenty or so feet away. I was starting to forget our growing audience; people were stopping to watch and looking up from newspapers and conversations. I heard a bunch of college guys who'd been watching go "Ohh!"

Edward stopped laughing. "Am I in trouble?" He called, like a small child to his mom who'd been caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

"You're screwed!" I answered.

"Oh, come on, can't you take a joke?!" He started walking towards me.

"Scaring me out of my wits isn't a joke!"

"Well, I thought it was pretty funny, you should've seen your expression." He muttered as he got closer to me. I smacked his arm again and he grinned. "May I escort you to the Fine Arts Building?" He held out his arm for me to take and after a moment of debate I let my arm twine with his.

"If you ever do that again…" I whacked his chest. "it'll be a lot harder than that."

Edward groaned "Oh, so mush abuse, you're going to kill me." I smiled and let him lead me around a corner.

**EPOV**

I had to scare Bella more often. I didn't even mean to, but now that I had, her expression had been beyond hilarious. Her reaction had been even funnier. I was still grinning when we turned a corner and the Fine Art Building came into view. Suddenly Bella stopped walking and pulled her arm from mine. I'm glad she walked away or she would have seen the hurt on my face. I watched her as she walked over to a man, obviously homeless, sitting against a building with a tin can in front of him. I hadn't even noticed him. Bella pulled a few bills out of her pocket as I walked over to them and she handed the money to the emaciated looking man. He smiled a nearly toothless grin at her and took the money. I patted my pocket and realized that I'd left my wallet at home, so instead I pulled my scarf from my neck. I gave it to the man and he smiled at me like he had to Bella and thanked us quietly. As we walked away again, Bella twined her arm back with mine.

"That was very kind of you." I said softly. She looked up at me with a smile.

"He needed it more than I do."I felt horrible when I realized that I'd passed homeless people on the street without thinking many times before. Bella not only noticed him but stopped and gave him money, her charity tore me up inside for two reasons: One, it was so unimaginably sweet and kind-hearted; two, it had been way too long since I'd helped someone, outside of Emmett, just for the sake of helping them.

Bella must have seen how sad I felt because she stopped walking again and hugged me. "What's wrong?" She asked gently when I hugged her back.

"It's complicated."I muttered and she pulled away.

"I've got time." As soon as she closed her mouth a crowd of students ran into her room saying something about class starting in a minute. She rolled her eyes. "Tell me later?" She asked hopefully and she stood half way in her room, half way out.

"Maybe." I said noncommittally. Before she could protest she was pulled into her classroom by a girl I'd never met.

"Bye, Edward!" She called before the door closed. I rushed over to my room on the other side of the building.

"Good day, Mr. Masen." said my instructor, Mrs. Casey.

"Mrs. Casey." I nodded in her direction as I pulled music sheets out of my messenger bag. I walked over to where she sat at the piano bench and sat on my side. "Now, for today's lesson…"

~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~#~~~~~~~~~~~~~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~!~

"Guess what Emmett?!" I said as I walked into our apartment.

"What, dude?" He said from the kitchen. I walked in and grinned at him.

"My piano shows up in an hour."I grinned, "They're sending someone to bring it up the stairs and into my room."

Emmett nodded "Yeah, I know, hey I left something in your room." Without another word, I left and went into my room. I opened the door cautiously, waiting for something to jump out and gasped when I saw my brand new piano sitting in the corner of my room. Emmett, who'd come up behind me, laughed. "Gotcha!" I slowly walked into my room and touched the keys of my piano, grazing the top of it with my fingertips. Without even having to think about it, I played the soft melody of a song I'd been composing for about the past week. I stopped at the end, which wasn't really the end because I hadn't finished the song yet. "Sounds unfinished…" Emmett said and sat down on the edge of my bed.

I sat down on my piano bench and answered him without taking my eyes off the keys. "That's because it isn't done."

"How long have you been writing it?"

"About a week."

"It's about Bella, isn't it?" My eyes snapped up to him.

"No." Truth was, I didn't know _what_ it was about.

"Liar." Emmett answered. I sighed, trying to find a way to make him believe me. "You've always been a bad liar. Besides, you got that smile that I only see you use when you're with Bella while you played it." I froze and stared at him in shock.

"What?"

"You smile differently when you're with Bella; I've never seen you smile like that until recently."

"I don't smile differently when I'm with her…" I touched the keys in the first few notes of the song and then let my hands drop back into my lap.

"Edward, you've changed lately… You're happier and your temper doesn't blow up super fast anymore. I have to call you Eddie at least three times before you start yelling now." He grinned at me. "No, but really, you've been different and the only thing that's been different is meeting Alice, Jasper, and Bella, and I really doubt seeing Jasper makes you that happy." He stood up and patted me on the shoulder. "Just think about that, and be careful, brother." He smiled and left the room. I stared at where he'd just left for a minute as I thought.

Had I really changed? And had it really been so dramatic that even Emmett noticed? I played the song again and it reminded me of Bella. Emmett had known what the song was about before I did. I spent the next hour finishing the song. There was much scribbling and erasing but finally when I played it, it sounded right. Bella's Song was the first I played on my new piano and I knew it was destined for great things. Look at what it had already accomplished, after only one day. When I emerged from my room Emmett was gone with a note saying he was going over to the Hales to spend the night. It was only Wednesday and he was seeing them on Saturday, he couldn't wait? I had some leftovers for dinner and sat down to watch some TV for a while.

I played Bella's song one time and on a whim called her cell phone. "Hello?"

"Bella?"

"Speaking." I heard some soft music in the background but I couldn't tell if she was playing or if it was her iPod.

"This is Edward." The playing stopped, so it must have been her.

"Hey, Edward." I could hear the smile in her voice and that made me smile. "Why are you calling so late?" I looked at the clock to see it was after nine-thirty.

"To say good night." I answered simply and she fell silent for a moment.

Then she laughed. "Good night, Edward."

My smile grew. "Good night, Bella." I murmured. We both fell silent but neither of us hung up. I wasn't sure what she was doing, but I was listening to her soft breathing. "Do you need to go?" I finally asked after nearly three minutes. I lay down in bed in just some flannel pants and pulled the covers up. I had to get some rest so I could get up early for my 'shift' at Macy's as the live entertainment.

"No, do you?"She sounded tired.

"No, you sound tired."

"I'm fine." She was quiet for a minute and I heard a click and then some rustling of sheets, I figured she must've just lain down too. "Will you tell me a story?" She asked like a small child and I smiled, rolling over so I could see out my bedroom window. I thought for a moment.

"One from real life or a made up story?"

"Make it whatever you want."She sounded even more tired and I could see her eye lids drooping as she tried to stay awake.

Whatever I wanted? I had to think about that, it didn't really matter I was sure she would be asleep soon. "Once upon a time…"

Half an hour later, Bella's breath had been even for about ten minutes and my tale had just come to an end as I just listened to her breathe again. She would probably think I was some kind of freaky stalker if she knew I was. "Good night, Bella." I whispered and closed my phone. On a second thought, I opened it again and called Alice.

"Yeah?"

"Hey, Alice, it's Edward."

"Hey, why are you calling so late, I was heading to bed."

"Sorry, but can you do me a quick favor?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Go in Bella's room and turn off her phone?"

"Um, sure…" She said slowly and I could tell she was dying to know how I knew her phone was on.

"Thanks, Alice, night."

"Night, Edward." I hung up and set my phone onto my bedside table.

The last thing I saw was my piano and the last thing I heard was Bella's song, playing softly in my mind.

**A/N: Okay, I loved this chapter… It was kind of a filler and also important at the same time because Bella and Edward are starting to realize things. Thank you for reading, if any of you have questions, relevant or just questions to entertain/be random feel free to ask! I hope you enjoyed it, and I'll write more when I can, school's keeping me kinda busy right now though, you know how it goes… Oh, hey, do any of you know when Bella's birthday is? The date? If you do, please tell me in a review or PM. Thanks, guys!****the one person we're supposed to always be able to trust? Ourselves? To find love, you've got to be willing to sacrifice. You might be heart broken, but if you don't take the chance it will never mend either.****the one person we're supposed to always be able to trust? Ourselves? To find love, you've got to be willing to sacrifice. You might be heart broken, but if you don't take the chance it will never mend either.**


	13. Happy Birthday

_The last thing I saw was my piano and the last thing I heard was Bella's song, playing softly in my mind.__was my piano and the last thing I heard was Bella's song, playing softly in my mind. was my piano and the last thing I heard was Bella's song, playing softly in my mind. was my piano and the last thing I heard was Bella's song, playing softly in my mind. The last thing I saw was my piano and the last thing I heard was Bella's song, playing softly in my mind. _

**Remember to read the brunette writer's story, **_**Losing And Finding**_**! :)**

**BPOV**

"Get in the car! Bella, I _am not_ playing around, get in before I call Emmett!" Alice glared at me as I continued refusing to get into her Porsche.

"Alice I told you that I don't want to go to a party. I mean, what kind of birthday present is this?" I was whining just to bother and make it tough on her, I knew I was going in the end and so did she, so making her late was pissing her off.

Jasper rolled down the passenger window next to me and stuck his head out. "Bella, please just get in the car before Alice has a meltdown." He pleaded. I glanced at Alice, him, and then back at Alice.

"Well, since you asked nicely."As I climbed into the back of the car reluctantly, I could've sworn I heard Alice growl at me. She got in and immediately locked the doors. Like that would keep me in.

"Hey, Alice."She looked back at me and I flipped the lock and opened the door a little before closing it. "You're usually smarter than that."

"It slowed you down a second longer though, didn't it?" She smirked and turned around as I rolled my eyes.

It was September 13th, my birthday. Alice was now dragging me to a college party that one of her friends was throwing at her house, supposedly for me, even though she didn't know me. We were going to meet Emmett, Edward, and Rosalie there, but I didn't see why Alice thought that would make me be okay with going to a party. I glared out the window as we made the fifteen minute drive to the girl's house/mansion. I knew it was a stereotypical thought, but the house just screamed 'spoiled.'

Cars were parked all down the streets and in the drive way, there was even a suburban parked on the lawn with some kids in the trunk, talking, and two on top, making out in plain sight. I was positive there was going to be alcohol and that annoyed me, just because I was 20, that didn't mean I was more tempted to drink or anything. It seemed that the party wasn't being thrown for only me anymore, which I was thankful for. "Alice, I don't know _anyone_ here."

"Well, word gets around. How do you think parties get big?" Alice grabbed my hand and clasped her other with Jasper's as she dragged us through the front door. I stood silently, looking around, as Alice talked to the girl hosting the party while Jasper went to get some unopened coke bottles. I was sure anything in open bowls and cups had already been spiked with _something_. I hardly recognized anyone, there was a face here and there that I vaguely recognized, but that was about it.

"Happy birthday, Bella!" I heard someone yell and I turned to see Emmett, with his arm around Rosalie, enter the house. Edward followed behind silently. Rose smiled, but otherwise didn't really acknowledge me as she pulled Emmett towards the DJ, who was switching to a new song in the huge living room. Edward waved and started walking toward me but was suddenly dragged to the side by some guy and disappeared into the crowd. I laughed at his annoyed expression before he disappeared. I turned to say something to Alice but she was gone. I looked around, I couldn't see any of the guys and I rolled my eyes. Of course I was left alone, and on my birthday. How nice.

I squeezed through the crowds and out onto the back deck where kids were either in the pool or surrounding it. I looked up at the clear sky, for once nearly absent of clouds. I walking out onto the lawn and lay down on the cool grass, tuning out the music, voices, and laughter of the party as I looked up at the velvet sky peppered in stars.

I tried to block all of my thoughts about everything for a while and just stare up at the stars. So I could just _be_. I concentrated on my breathing more then I would ever have to, like my life depended on it. I was brought back to reality by someone yelling 'cannonball' and hurtling themselves into the pool. Imagine my surprise, when it was Emmett's head that popped up at of the water. Yeah, right. "Hey, Emmett." I said, lying back down on the grass, on my side so I was facing him. He swam to the edge and crossed his arms on the lip of the pool next to me.

"What's up, Bella?" He rested his chin on his arms.

"Nothing, I'm just trying to ignore the party." I half shrugged.

"That's no fun, it's your birthday, you should have some fun. Where's Alice or Edward?" He asked and I sighed.

"I have no idea. Alice just vanished and Edward was dragged away by some guy as soon as he walked into the door." Emmett nodded slowly and suddenly Rose plopped herself down next to me.

"Hey Bella, hey Emmett." We both greeted her.

"Do you know where anyone is, Rosie?" Emmett asked as he pulled himself out of the pool and sat there in soaking wet clothes.

"No, I haven't seen any of the others; I was going to ask you guys."

"Oh ok, well, in that case, do you have some of my clothes in your car?" He asked her and I chuckled.

"Yeah, in the trunk." He ran off to go change.

"So, how's your birthday going?" Rosalie turned towards me after watching her long-term boyfriend run off.

I shrugged in response. "It's okay, I'm just not a big fan of parties."

"Yeah, you don't really seem to be in your element here." She looked around before turning back to me.

"Nope, not really." I smiled. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Yeah, it's hard not to when you're with Emmett." I laughed and she smiled. "He's such a goofball…but I love him, so I put up with it." She smiled when we saw Emmett coming through the back door towards us, wearing new, dry clothes. He waved like we hadn't noticed him and held up a package that was obviously a present. I groaned softly when he sat down next to us, pulling Rose closer.

"Happy birthday, Bella." They both said.

"You guys didn't need to get me anything, really."

"We insist." Rose said, pushing the bag closer to me. I picked it up and pushed the paper out of the way, pulling out a little leather bound notebook. I opened it and the first page said: 'Bella's random thoughts and story ideas.'

I looked up at them. "Alice told you?" They nodded and I hugged them both, laughing a little. "Thank you guys, very much." I smiled and Emmett grinned in satisfaction. "I promise to use it all the time."

"We're glad you like it." I nodded and placed it back in the colorful bag.

"I'm going to go put it in Alice's car. I'll see you guys later." They waved and I stood, walking around the house, through a gate, and out to Alice's Porsche, half way down the street.

"Hey, baby." Some drunken guy slurred at me and a bunch of his friends cat-called but I continued walking without a glance at him.

When I got to Alice's car, I was surprised to see Edward leaning against it. "Hi." I greeted as I unlocked her car with my key and set the bag in it.

"Hey, happy birthday, Bella." He smiled crookedly and hugged me before pulling a small red package out of his pocket. "This is for you, Alice told me what you might like and I thought it might interest you."

"What's up with everyone getting me gifts?" I asked, but I took it from his hands.

"Well, it _is _your birthday; you are turning twenty, correct?"

"Okay, you got me there." I muttered, but I smiled up at him. I ripped off the paper and opened the small box. Another, smaller wooden box fell into my hand, long and skinny. 'B.S.' was inscribed into the top and I couldn't help but laugh. "Oh, so you've got jokes now?" He grinned.

"It's completely innocent, just your initials." He said, holding his hands up in surrender, but I could see the mischievous glint in his eyes. I opened the box, and in it laid a wooden pen with gold accents and 'Bella Swan' engraved into the handle.

I gasped "Edward, this most have cost way too much!"

He shook his head "No, I didn't spend too much. Do you like it?"

I touched the pen. "Yes, but it…" He cut me off.

"You like it, and it's yours. I can't really take it back considering your name is inscribed in it." He smiled again and I rolled my eyes.

I examined the pen again. "Thank you, Edward. I love it." I carefully replaced it into the wooden box and slid that into the cardboard one.

"I'm glad. Are you having a good birthday?"I set the box next to my other present and closed the car door, locking it.

"It's been looking up." He held out his arm for me to link mine with. He led the way back down the street towards the house and party. "Oh and why were you at Alice's car?" I asked.

"Well, I couldn't find you and I figured you'd have to go home at _some _time…" It worked, so I didn't ask any more questions. He sat down on one of the couches that was empty for the moment and patted the seat next to him for me to sit.

We sat there and talked for a long time, ignoring the party going on around us. Every once in a while we would fall silent and that was fine with me. Sometimes it's nice to just… be with someone. You don't need to fill the silence; it's just nice to know they're there. I yawned and looked at my watch after around two hours of conversing with Edward. "What time is it?"He asked and I sighed.

"It's almost twelve thirty at night and the party is in full swing." I yawned. I hadn't slept well the night before so I was really getting tired.

"Well, why don't you go home?"

"I came with Alice and Jasper, even though I have a key, I'm pretty sure Alice would have my head if I ditched her."

"Well, I'm sure there's an extra bedroom here."

"I'm pretty sure the bedroom's are off limits, Edward." I smiled and he shrugged before nodding.

"I can drive you home of you want?" He stood and offered me a hand which I accepted.

"One second." I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket; texting Alice to say that I would be home, Edward was dropping me off. As we walked out to his car, my phone vibrated and I opened it to see a text from Alice.

**You r such a party pooper! I'll c u l8tr :/**

I laughed and tucked my phone back in my pocket as Edward held the door open for me. "Alice?" He asked when he was sitting next to me and pulling away from the curb.

"Yeah, she says I'm a party pooper for leaving early. I bet she thought I wouldn't last this long though, I'm not a fan of big parties." He nodded in understanding.

"I'm not a big partier myself."

"So, are you going back to the party after you drop me off or what?"

He thought for a moment as he stopped at a red light. "I don't have any plans. I might just head home and watch a movie or something; I'm not all that tired." The light turned green and he pulled forward again. "Did you get dinner?"

I had to actually think about that before I answered. "No, I've had some snacks, but I'll just get something at home." He pulled into a parking spot at my apartment complex a minute later and turned off the car. I got out and met him on the sidewalk. I took his hand without thinking and as soon as I realized what I'd done, I blushed scarlet and looked away. He didn't try and find a way to drop my hand though and I took courage in that. I pulled my key out of my pocket and opened the door. I let Edward's hand slide off mine and was walking in the door when I thought of something. "You know, we have some movies here. Would you like to come in?" Edward looked at me, down the hall, at his watch, and then back at me.

"Yeah, I'd like that." He smiled and followed me in.

"What movie do you want to watch?" I asked as I picked up the TV remote and flipped on the screen before walking into the kitchen.

"What's your favorite movie?" He asked, following me into the kitchen.

"A Walk to Remember." I answered without thinking. "But we don't have to watch that, what's your favorite movie?" I started making a few simple sandwiches.

"A Walk to Remember." He said immediately and when I stopped and looked at him, he wouldn't meet my eyes.

"Liar."

"How can you know that? What if I'm passionately in love with Jamie and her story?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he tried a little too hard to look innocent. "Please?"

I growled under my breath. "Fine, it's on the top shelf in the glass covered book case by the TV. Next time we're watching your favorite movie though." He left the room and I put the sandwiches on a plate and flipped off the lights before sitting on the couch. Edward popped the disc in the player and I pressed the buttons necessary to get the movie to start. Edward sat next to me and pulled the afghan thrown over the back over the two of us. I set the plate on my lap on top of the blanket so we could both reach them.

My senses felt hyper aware at the closeness of Edward. I wanted him to kiss me. Badly. I'd been thinking about him a lot over the past few days and I'd realized something: Everyone was going to leave me in the end. Even Alice. So, I shouldn't waste any of the time I had with him.

When the movie was half over, I was starting to get tired again and I yawned. I set the plate on the table and rested my head on the arm of the couch, giving Edward some space. I closed my eyes and just listened to the movie. I'd seen it more times than I could count; sleeping through it wouldn't kill me.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Light coming through the blinds covering my window woke me up. I stood and _carefully _walked to the window, where I opened the blinds and looked out at the rare, welcome sun. Sunshine wasn't my favorite weather, but when it's so rare, you come to appreciate it. I walked back to my bed and sat on the edge. I turned off the alarm clock and picked up a piece of paper with my name on it next to the clock.

_Bella, _

_You fell asleep during the movie last night, so I brought you in here and let myself out. Sleep well, I'll call you tomorrow. Good night, Bella._

_Edward _

I smiled and refolded the note before setting it down on the side table. I would have to thank him later. I was kind of embarrassed that I fell asleep, and that he had to carry me in here. When I thought back, I remembered waking up for a few seconds when he picked me up. I blushed at the thought of him carrying me.

I walked out into the family room and picked up my laptop, sitting down in our only arm chair. I pulled up my documents and looked at the story I'd been writing for nearly a year. There were more than a hundred pages, but I knew that at least half of it would be only okay, it would sound kind of forced. That was okay though, I wasn't writing for that story, not today. Maybe not ever again. I would keep it to learn from my mistakes though.

I pulled up a brand new word document, and after no more than a minute of thought, I started writing and that was how I spent most of my Sunday.

**A/N: Okay, I've updated! School ends in 10 days for me!! Woo! That also means that I don't know when I'll be able to update again though :/ School is getting to the crunch time and the day after school ends, I go to camp for a week. After that, I don't know what happens. My dad was offered a job and I might be moving to Malaysia. **_**Malaysia!**_** Do you know how far away that is from Southwest U.S.?! It's **_**far**_** away!! Anyone here from Kuala Lumpour? I'm dead serious. Anyone? I've got questions… It's still a maybe, but the maybe is getting more and more likely…**


	14. Carry Me With You

_I pulled up a brand new word document, and after no more than a minute of thought, I started writing and that was how I spent most of my Sunday._

**BPOV**

It was Sunday afternoon and the flow of words had finally come to an end, nearly an hour ago. Alice had gone with Rose to some movie or something and now I was sitting in the only arm chair in our 'family room' with my legs thrown over one side. I wasn't doing anything really, just holding my father's dog tags and trying to remember them as much as I could. As soon as I could make myself stand up and move, I planned to raid my closet and try and find a picture of them. I knew my aunt and uncle had given me a few. I sighed as I thought about them.

Why had they left? Did they just not want me? If that had been the case, why couldn't they have just told me? I'd rather have left on my own then force them out of their own home… Sometimes it made me mad when I thought of how they'd just up and left. Not a word, note, not anything. Other times, it just made me sad because I'd realize how I must have just been that unwantable to them, like now.

Questions without answers swirled around in my head until it started to hurt. The sudden sound of my cell phone ringing made me jump and I looked around, trying to locate it. I answered after the fourth ring, once I'd found it. "Hello?" I sat back into my former position and brushed my thumb across my father's name, imprinted into metal.

"Hey, Bella, it's Edward." Edward soft voice spilled out of the phone.

"Hi, Edward, how are you?"

"I'm very good, thank you." I could hear the smile in his voice and it made me want to smile, if I wasn't so down because of my former train of thought. "How are you?"

I sat back and made myself comfortable. "I'm good, Edward, I'm fine." I answered.

He paused for a moment. "You don't sound fine." Just like I could hear the smile in his voice before, I could tell he was frowning now. I sighed, too softly for him to hear.

"I promise, I'm fine. What have you been up to?" I asked, trying to get the spot light off me. I would be fine in a while, it just made me sad to think of the parents I could barely remember and hardly had a chance to know.

"You are a horrible liar." He said after another pause and I dropped my head into my hands. I knew I was a bad liar, I just didn't know I was so bad he could tell through the freaking _phone_.

"Think what you will then." I stood up and stretched, making my back pop; it felt pretty good, usually it just hurt.

"Can I come over?"

"Don't feel like beating around the bush today?" I teased.

"Not really, how about we go out to lunch and maybe for a walk?" I raised my eyebrows slightly; a walk actually sounded _really _nice right about now. I glanced out the window in the kitchen, where I'd walked to without thinking. It was sprinkling and I felt my lips turn up, I loved walking in the rain, I didn't do it often enough just because I could.

"Say I'm interested in this idea…Where would we go?"

"For lunch or during the walk?"

"Both." I replied.

"How about…Bellagio's for lunch and for the walk we'll just wander aimlessly, you don't always need a destination or somewhere to be." He said slowly and I nodded thoughtfully.

"Okay, what's Bellagio's like?"

"Their specialty, or actually just what I always get, is calzones."

"Like those inside-out pizzas? With the crust wrapped around the cheese and other stuff?"

"Yeah, that's it. Sound good?"I could hear a rustling sound on the other end and I wondered idly what it was.

"Yeah, okay, when would you come over?"

"Anytime is good for me." I smiled. He was such a gentleman; I could swear it was killing me. It was kind of sad that more men couldn't do simple things like hold a door or stand at a table for a second while we sat. It was also sad that women weren't expected to do things like hold doors and pull out chairs… We weren't _that_ delicate.

I glanced down and took in my appearance. I was dressed and showered; good sign. I wanted to see him. I rolled my eyes at myself; I had to control myself at least a little. What if he didn't like me in the same way? Sure, he'd kissed me, but that had been once and it could have meant nothing. I knew I trusted Edward, but did I trust him with my _heart_? Right now, it felt like just a crush, but it was blooming. Whenever I wasn't paying attention, it was like my fingers slipped a little farther and I got closer to falling over the edge. Even though I'd promised that I would trust him, I was still afraid. "Bella?" I blinked and pushed the thoughts away at the sound of Edward's voice. I could agonize over it later.

"I'm sorry, what?" I asked and he paused for a moment like he was thinking.

"Are you okay if I come over in the next fifteen minutes or so?" He asked and I had a feeling this wasn't the first time he'd asked me in the past minute….

"Yeah, that's great, I'll see you then."

"Okay, see you soon."

"Bye." I hung up the phone and sucked in a huge breath before letting it out in a big gust. I wrote a quick note for Alice on a sticky note and attached it to the fridge. For such a tiny person, she had a huge appetite; she almost always went to the fridge first thing.

I threw on my Chucks converse and I examined them for the first time in months. They were starting to fall apart, but that didn't bother me. They were dark blue and it annoyed me that, for converse, they seemed so plain. I _got_ them because I wanted to draw all over them. Converse were mobile art canvases. That's practically what they were made for. You rarely saw someone wear converse without doodles or words scrawled all over them in sharpie. "I'll have to fix that." I muttered and walked into my bed room. In my desk, I found some sharpies one black, one red, and one blue—the same color of my converse. I tucked them into my pocket, maybe I'd let Edward draw on them…

The door bell rang and I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face. There goes _that_ bad mood. "Speak of the devil and he shall appear." I said and jogged over to the door, making sure to step over a pair of Alice's discarded shoes in the entryway. I opened the door and there stood Edward Anthony Masen in all of his male model glory. If I didn't know better to not care much about looks, I would be jealous I couldn't have a body as great as his…minus the scars. I cringed slightly at my thoughts. All this took place in little over a second, because Edward didn't seem to notice as he swept me up into a hug.

I didn't expect the behavior and I hugged him back loosely. "Come on, I'm starved." He said, letting me go. I smiled and nodded in agreement. We walked out into the hallway after I closed and locked the door. Edward took my hand as we got to the stairs and I felt my hand tingle pleasantly. I laced our fingers together hesitantly and I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye. I was probably grinning my fool head off at this point.

He held open the car door for me and I climbed in, buckling my seat belt. I looked up at him where he was still standing next to the open door on my side. "What?" I asked, smiling and looking down to make sure I was wearing all my clothes properly.

He shrugged and then said "I'm just feeling a little…lazy…today. It's a looong walk to the other side of the car…"There was a mischievous glint in his eyes and I narrowed my own eyes at him.

"What are you planning?" I asked slowly. He just half-shrugged again.

"This." And then he pounced into the car on top of me.

"Edward!" I yelped in surprise as he climbed over me, laughing and tickling me the whole way. Still half way on top of me, He reached back and closed my car door. He leaned back against the dashboard, still almost on my lap, and tickled me. "Edward!" I gasped again, trying to wriggle my way out of his grasp.

"I came to see you, Bella!" He said loudly, laughing as I tried to get away. I tried to get serious and tell him to get off but it didn't work very well. After a minute he plopped down into the driver's seat still chuckling. "You're so red right now." He grinned and brushed my check softly.

This caused me to get redder from embarrassment. "I think it was because of my lack of _air_."I snapped with a half scowl-half smile that my uncle used to say I was extremely good at. He thought I wasn't very scary when I was mad, Edward seemed to share these views as I glared at him all the way to Bellagio's. I was hoping he would at least flinch.

**(Short A/N: You guys know how that restaurant everyone uses is called La Bella Italia? Yeah, well, I used Bellagio's and it still has her name in it! Anyone catch that before now? :D)**

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Lunch was an entertaining affair. Conversation flowed easily and I told Edward about my converse issue and he took it upon himself to fix it…

"_It's just that they're so plain; have you ever seen plain converse?" I sighed, looking down at the doodless Chuck Taylor's. Edward examined me for a moment before glancing down at my shoes._

"_Do you have a sharpie?" He asked finally._

_I smiled sheepishly. "I have three." I reached into my pocket and set them down on the table in between us. "I was planning on fixing them sometime today."_

_Edward smiled crookedly. "Come here." He patted the seat next to him on the booth and I stood, doing as he asked. I sat down and he immediately pulled my right foot up onto his lap. After considering the sharpies for a short moment, he uncapped the black one and started writing along the edges of my shoe. As he wrote around the rubber soles, he turned my foot to the side until he couldn't turn it anymore, then he slipped my shoe off. Leaving my socked foot in his lap, he continued to write and I started to move my foot off his lap so it wouldn't bother him. He grabbed my ankle, holding it in place and with a sigh I left it in there. I leaned my head against the booth and watched him._

_He was concentrating hard, his eyebrows knitting together, as he thought. He pulled my left foot up into his lap and placed my right shoe back on my foot. I could see musical notes written into a staff and I wondered if he was just writing, or if it was a song he knew. Was it for piano? He finished writing more notes onto the soles of my left shoe and then he capped the black marker. He picked the red one and after a moment of staring at my shoes in thought, he turned a little in his seat so I couldn't see what he was doing anymore. When he let go of my feet, I pulled my knees up to my chin and looked at them with new eyes. Musical notes and a staff were written on my left shoe, like the right. Again I wondered if it was a song he knew, or just random doodling. Then I noticed the scrawling handwriting on the white tips of my shoes, covering my toes._

_On my left foot were the words 'Carry me' with 'carry' floating over the word 'me.' And then on my right shoe, he had written 'with you.' Again the word 'with' on top of the word 'you.' They were facing so if I looked down at my shoes, only I could read them right-side up, to everyone else they were upside down._

_I stared at those four words for a long time. Edward reached a hand over and traced his index finger across the music. "Now you can always 'carry me with you.'" He smiled softly and I returned it. _

"_Thank you. They're perfect."_

Now, we were back in the parking lot of my apartment complex. "Ready for that walk?" Edward asked as he took my hand while locking the car.

"Yep." I smiled as his hand tightened protectively (that's what I was hoping it was for) when we passed a man I'd seen once or twice before here. Without noticing at first, I started swinging our hands between us. It wasn't drawn to my attention until Edward laughed and I joined in. "Sorry, I didn't realize I was doing it." I started to slow the swinging but Edward wouldn't let me. He kept our hands swinging lightly and I smiled.

Something wet hit my forehead and I looked up to see that it was starting to slowly sprinkle. "Guess what?"

"What?"

"It's sprikling!" I exclaimed, laughing. It was a term I used with Alice, an inside joke that always made us happy.

"Sprikling?" He looked confused. "Do you mean _sprinkling_? With an n?"

I grinned. "Nope, I mean sprikling."

"Okaaaayy." He said slowly. "And may I ask _why _you call it sprikling?"

"An inside joke with Alice, and it's just fun." He chuckled, shaking his head.

"It is kind of fun, isn't it? Sprikling." He laughed. "It's sprikling!" He shouted and I laughed, doubling over and clutching his arm. A couple walking on the other side of the street stared at us for a moment before picking up the pace of their walk slightly.

"Stop it." I smacked his arm lightly. "You're scaring people." I giggled and he laughed again. He seemed so care free today, and it made me happy.

We started walking again and I was happy just being with him. It didn't matter anymore. Nothing did. I was with Edward, we were happy, and I felt safe. When I was with him, I didn't have to worry about whether I would be able to trust him. It seemed so obvious. I looked down at my newly decorated converse. 'Carry me with you.' I smiled and glanced at Edward who was looking ahead of us, with a small smile lighting his features.

His eyes were so bright now, and his face seemed so much more open and alive. I thought back to the day that I had met him and the change was drastic. That first day, he'd seemed so closed off and his eyes had seemed dead. Now that I thought back, it had been almost scary. "Edward?"

He hummed and glanced at me out of the corner of his eyes so I knew he was listening. "Did something bad happen to you a few days before I met you or something?" His former confident and almost bouncy step, faltered for a second before he continued, not quite so bouncy now.

He reached his free hand up and ran it threw his bronze hair and I bit my lip. "Why do you think that?"He finally asked.

"Well, comparing how you looked the day I met you and right now… You look so much happier and just care free. You looked so sad and…" I stopped mid-step as I put a word to how his eyes had looked that day. I looked up and locked my brown eyes with his deep green depths. "Your eyes looked broken." I whispered. He stared at me wordlessly for a long moment. "What changed?" I asked with my voice just barely above a whisper. Our walk slowed until we were at a standstill.

"Hm." He stared at me thoughtfully. "I bet you could guess what changed that day." I just raised an eyebrow. He scoffed slightly, "It really isn't that obvious?" I shook my head and he squeezed my hand, looking away. "You don't see yourself clearly…" He murmured. "_You_ changed Bella, you're the reason I changed." He looked so sad and I squeezed his hand gently like he had mine. "I was broken." I saw his jaw clench and I had to stuff my free hand in my pocket to keep myself from touching his cheek. "When my parents died, it was bittersweet. My horrible father had perished, but so had my loving and protective mother. Besides Emmett, I've never been really close to anyone. I've had a couple physical relationships so that Emmett wouldn't worry, but nothing with _real_ feelings. I didn't trust anybody, that was how I was, and it showed. You have to lean on people. To get through life, you need to have friends and family, because you need to be able to have someone to help shoulder your troubles. It gets tiring being alone and trying not to burden other people." He looked back at me and smiled sadly. "One reason I'm happy, is because you're helping me shoulder the pain, Bella. I didn't think it would be right to have you help like that, but you are, and you aren't afraid." He reached up and brushed a lock of hair behind my ear. "I was afraid you wouldn't want to be with me or even near me after I told you my story, I thought you might think me a monster or some kind of time bomb ready to go off. I thought tha"-

I cut him off, pulling my hand from his gently, I could see the hurt in his eyes. "You really thought so little of me?"

"No, that's just it, you don't think of me like that. I told you about myself and you accepted it. _You_ _accepted_ _me_. And it seemed so easy for you. You didn't even hesitate, I told you and you haven't treated me different. You haven't pitied me or thought of me as a monster. Thank you, for more than you realize." He took my hand and kissed my knuckles. Then he pulled me close and hugged me.

It made me sad that something as simple as being accepted made him this happy, but it held true for me as well. He accepted me in the same way. I hugged him back tightly and he pressed his face into my hair. "Thank you for accepting me and my problems just as easily." I felt him smile and he pulled away, locking his eyes with mine. I pulled my hand for my pocket and I allowed myself to reach up and touch his face gently. His eyes bore into mine with an intensity that made me want to look away, if I wasn't caught in his gaze like that of a bird in a snake's gaze. He leaned into my touch and his eyes closed, he made a humming sound of contentment and I smiled. Betraying my longing of the past week or so, my eyes traveled down to his lips. When I looked back up at his eyes, he was watching me again.

Edward leaned forward at the same time I did and we met in the middle. He pressed his lips to mine softly and I shivered. One of his hands traveled to my back, pulling me closer, and the other into my hair. Against my will, my hands reached up and wound around his neck as my fingers found their way into his soft bronze hair. It felt so amazingly right. It was like my lips were meant to be connected to his. I pulled back a little for air and he kissed down my jaw and then back up. I forgot about thinking for a while and went on instinct for once. I nipped lightly at his lip and he pressed his lips back to mine, shaking slightly with laughter. "A little eager are we?" He murmured and I lifted my hand out of his hair to smack his shoulder.

"Look who's talking."I let my lips roam down his strong jaw and was starting to go down his neck when I came to the scar barely visible at his throat. I stopped and looked up at him, making sure he noticed what I was doing. He could tell that I had reached the scar and pulled away and he looked nearly crushed, I half-smiled, trying to assure him. I dipped my head down and pressed my lips to his scar, hoping he got the message. I did accept him. All of him.

"Bella-" Edward started to say, but was cut off by a blaring car horn coming down the street behind us, I turned to see who would face the wrath of Bella Swan for interrupting our moment of heaven.

**A/N: I'm sorry this took so freaking long to post you guys!! School was in the crunch time and then I was camping for almost a week after school ended! But now it's up, and truth be told, I really like how this chapter turned out :] I'm pleased with it and I hope you guys are too! Malaysia is still a possibility, I'll keep you guys posted on that, because if I move, I'll probably have a break period where I won't write for around a month… Let's not think of that now, what'd you think?! Tell me in a review! I welcome anonymous as well as signed reviews! Either works, I really do want your input. Thanks :]**


	15. Dedication

**Ok, so recently an amazing writer here on fanfiction died. Daddy's Little Cannibal was hit by a drunk driver on May 8****th**** and so I've been debating maybe doing my next story dedicated to her. She's under my favorite authors and you REALLY need to read her stories. I didn't know her personally, but from what I've heard she was a legendary writer and a fantastic friend. I had a thought the other day that I thought would explain why someone as good as her died… Some people are just too good for this world. That's it. They're just too good for it, so they die and go to heaven where they belong. Were angels belong. Maybe angels walk among us. Seemingly average but so beautiful on the inside that they just can't stay here… So, I dedicated this chapter to her, even though I didn't know she'd died until after it had been written. Tell me what you think about doing my next story with a drunk driver theme and dedicating it to her. **

"_Bella"- Edward started to say, but was cut off by a blaring car horn coming down the street behind us, I turned to see who would face the wrath of Bella Swan for interrupting our moment of heaven._

**BPOV**

I watched the car pull up at the curb, and I tried to glare hard enough that the driver would just leave. I looked in the windshield to see Jasper waving, like he was oblivious to what had just happened. I rolled my eyes, of course he had seen it, and Jasper was smarter than that. He stepped out of the car and smiled at us. "Hey, Bella, Edward." He leaned against his car and folded his arms, looking around. "What are you guys doing here? You're going in the _opposite_ direction of _both_ your houses." He raised his eyebrows at us and I growled under my breath.

"We were just going for a walk." I answered.

"It's raining." Jasper said in return.

"Actually," Edward corrected in a matter-of-fact voice "it's sprikling." I laughed and Jasper's eyebrows shot up higher.

"It's…_sprikling_?"

"Inside joke." I said smiling and he just shrugged, dropping it. I was glad he did, it could be a thing I had with Alice and Edward. My two most important people. I wondered if Edward had any idea of the place he already held in my life.

"Anyway, you guys want a ride home? It's a pretty long walk, especially when it looks like it's going to start raining harder." People who lived in Seattle could all work as professional weather people, we learned how to judge when it was going to rain so fast! I smiled at the thought and got into the back of Jasper's car with a thank you.

Edward followed me into the back and closed the door as Jasper pulled away from the curb. I leaned my head on Edward's shoulder and hummed quietly in contentment. I looked down at my feet and read Edward's hand writing with a smile. 'Carry me with you.' Edward picked up my left hand in both of his and started playing with my fingers. I studied his face as he examined my hand.

Edward's eyes were the perfect shade of green. They were actually different shades, and they darkened and lightened according to his mood. I was always jealous of people whose eyes changed colors, even in minute ways. The line of his nose was straight and I could tell that his father must have been very careful not to injure him in visible places. His lips were full, not thin, and again I was struck by how extremely handsome he was. Without the scars that marred his body, it seemed he would've been perfect.

"How did you get this?" He muttered, touching a scar on the palm of my hand.

"In high school," I answered quietly "I was looking through my backpack and stabbed myself with a pencil by accident. I couldn't hold anything in my left hand for a week, it hurt so badly." Then I clamped my mouth shut as I realized that he had been through so much worse and had less recovery time.

He nodded slowly, not noticing my embarrassed silence. "You need to be more careful."Then he kissed the nearly invisible and forgotten wound like it had happened recently.

I smiled and he looked out the window, twining our fingers and dropping them onto his lap. I looked at the windshield and noticed that we'd be home in about five minutes. I looked up into the rearview mirror and met Jasper's blue eyes. I glared as best as I could, trying to convey my anger when he'd interrupted Edward and I, but it was too hard to stay mad at Jasper.

He smiled at me and I…cracked under the pressure. I smiled back. Then I smacked my forehead mentally for not staying mad. "You know, I'm mad at you, Jazz." I said and he grinned.

"Well, then, could you ever forgive me?"

I rolled my eyes. We both knew I already had. "Come on, forgive the man." Edward said, nudging my shoulder with his.

"Okay, okay," I relented, throwing my hands up "I forgive you Jasper!"

Edward laughed. "Why, thank you, ma'am." Jasper pretended to tip an imaginary hat and I rolled my eyes again.

"Don't call me ma'am." I muttered and leaned my head on Edward's shoulder. Jasper watched both of us for a few seconds longer before turning his eyes back on the road. He flipped on the radio to some soft jazz station and I couldn't hold back the snort of laughter. I blushed when they both looked at me. "Jazzy listening to jazz! It's a _little_ funny!" I defended and then sunk into my seat a little. Jasper laughed and turned into the parking lot while Edward smiled and shook his head.

When Jasper parked, I got out and Edward moved to follow. "Wait, Edward." Jasper said. I paused by the open car door and Edward turned to Jasper, still inside.

"Yeah, Jasper?"

"Alice has something planned." I groaned but he continued, ignoring me. "So, you're coming to my house to get fancied up and then we'll meet back here in an hour. Bella, Alice is waiting for you in your apartment." I sighed and then looked at Edward. He just smiled and made a shooing motion.

"I'll see you in an hour." I pursed my lips and then ducked inside of the car and kissed his cheek.

"Bye, guys." I whirled around and walked off quickly, not meeting Edward's eyes again as my face flooded with color.

Half an hour later, I was sitting in a chair in Alice's room trying not to complain as she did my hair. "So, what did you do with Edward?" She asked, running her fingers through my hair and fluffing it up a little, 'giving it bounce' as she would call it.

"We went out to lunch at Bellagio's, which was really good, and then we went for a walk." She whacked me upside the head and after glaring at her for a second, I continued, giving more details. "He picked me up and we talked about a bunch of random things, no awkward pauses." I lifted my foot to show her my newly decorated Converse. "He did this during lunch." She dropped my hair and bent to look at them. She didn't ask about the words, she knew that I liked to keep certain things to myself and she was right to think I wanted that to be between Edward and I. "Hey, you played piano when you were younger, do you know if this is a song or just notes?" I lifted my foot higher and she grabbed my foot, pulling it closer. She bit her lip as she thought back to the old piano lessons.

"Well, I don't know if it's just random doodling or an actual song, but I _can_ tell you that it's not 'Chopsticks.'" I laughed as Alice kept on turning my foot this way and that way, as she continued to examine the writing. "Nope, it's not 'Mary had a Little Lamb' either..." I laughed again and she looked up with a smile, dropping my foot. "Sorry, Bells," She said, going back to my hair, "I don't know. Why don't you just ask him?"

"Maybe I will." I answered and I stood up as she indicated that I should do so. She swatted my butt and pointed to the open bedroom door.

"Now go put on the clothes on your bed." I sighed and went to do as I was told. If I complained I was sure to get an ear full.

I put on the deep blue dress and black _low_ heels that Alice had laid out. I was surprised to be okay with the dress she'd picked out, usually she chose something a little more revealing. I glanced at the clock—5:50. I quickly changed into the dress and heels and met Alice in the living room. She was wearing a black dress cut off right below her knees and a necklace with a black flower to match. She gained three to four inches with the high heels she'd donned. I patted her spiky hair, still two or three inches below mine. She glared and swatted my hand away before appraising my dress. She walked a circle around me, making sure I'd put it on right and that it looked good. She finally nodded her head in approval, smiling "My work here is done, you look amazing." I rolled my eyes and our heads both snapped up in the direction of the door when the bell rang.

Alice started bouncing in place and I grabbed her shoulders, holding her in place, and recited her own rule. "Make them wait."

She grinned and patted my arm. "I've taught you well. One, two, three…." We counted to ten together before Alice ran ahead of me to open the door. I followed at my own pace and smiled when I saw Alice talking to Jasper, already walking down the hall and talking his ear off. I closed and locked the door before turning to Edward. He was wearing a tux, which he looked extremely handsome in, and a deep blue tie the same shade of my dress. I had a feeling Alice had coordinated our clothes to match.

"Good evening, Ms. Swan." Edward held out an arm for me to take.

"Good evening to you as well, Mr. Masen." I answered, taking his arm with a smile. As we walked out into the parking lot, I looked up to see that some of the clouds had cleared and you could see the stars. "The stars are beautiful, I've always been fascinated by them. Night is my favorite time of day too." I said smiling and he nodded his head in understanding.

"Have you ever wished upon a star?"

"Pff, of course I have, what kid doesn't wish on a star?"He half shrugged.

"I don't know, I used to wish on them all the time. They gave me hope." He smiled and looked down from the sky, back at me. "They still do." I nodded slowly, looking up at the stars with new found respect. If they gave Edward hope, then maybe they'd helped him hold on when he was young, they helped get him to this point in time with me.

"Bella, Edward, come on, I have reservations!" Alice yelled at us and I laughed. She'd probably been watching us, begging in her head for us to hurry but not wanting to interrupt. We rushed over to Jasper's car and got in back.

**EPOV**

Bella and I didn't say anything on the drive to the restaurant. We sat in back and I tuned them out, but Bella may have been listening, I wasn't sure. I played with her soft mahogany hair in silence, just enjoying the quiet with her. It was nice to just sit and be with someone, you didn't need to talk every second. If the silences were awkward, so you had to talk through them, then I didn't think you were with the right person. It's wasn't like that with Alice and Jasper, though there didn't seem to be too much silence, it was just that Alice was talkative.

Bella's hair fell in gentle ringlets down her back and across her shoulders; she looked like she had a soft light framing her face. She looked like an angel. "Have I told you that you look beautiful tonight?" I whispered in her ear, tucking a lock of hair behind it. She shivered and I tried not to smirk in pride, knowing that it was my fault.

"No, but thank you." She met my eyes with a tender smile. "Have _I_ told _you_, that you look handsome tonight?"She returned, placing her lips so they grazed against my ear when she spoke. I shivered slightly and hoped she caught it. I wasn't going to exaggerate anything, but I had a feeling she could use the self-esteem boost.

I grinned "No, but thank you." We pulled up into the parking lot of the restaurant and I got out and opened Bella's door, taking her hand and helping her out.

We walked into the restaurant and Alice walked up to the waiter "Reservations under Alice Brandon." The man nodded, typed something into the computer and led us to a booth in a quiet corner.

"Can I get you something to drink?" He asked, pulling out a pad of paper and a pen.

**BPOV**

Dinner went well. Most of the conversation was made by Alice and Jasper with added comments by Edward and I. Usually, when I went out with Alice, I would talk more, and I didn't feel sick so I wasn't sure why I was being so quiet lately.

We had decided to go back to Edward's place and hang out with Emmett and Rose for a while before splitting up and getting sleep for classes tomorrow. I had a feeling I would want to avoid Alice in the morning, she insisted on staying up, but she would regret it when she had to get up. "Jazz, can we stop by our place real quick so we can change out of our dresses?" Alice asked sweetly, as we neared the point where we would pass our house to get to Edward's.

"Yes, please?" I asked, jeans were more my forte, not dresses. He nodded and made the turn off. Leaving the guys in the car, we ran up to our apartment and went into our rooms with Alice yelling at me from down the hall.

"Can you believe how amazing Jasper is?!" She called as I changed into a pair of dark jeans and a Washington University hoodie.

"No, Alice, I guess he's pretty amazing." I answered, not quite as loud as her.

"And what about Edward? He couldn't seem to take his eyes off you the entire time!" I blushed scarlet and didn't answer at first as I pulled on my converse.

"Jasper didn't seem to notice any one else either." I muttered as we met at the front door.

"Don't change the subject. We're talking about you and Edward right now."I sighed and she smiled sweetly.

"But we don't need to."

"Yes, we do."

"But I don't wanna." I whined. "Just let things be, we'll see where it leads us."Alice looked at me from over the top of the car, which she could barely do on her tip-toes, her eyes were barely visible.

"We'll talk about this later." Then she disappeared into the car.

I sighed and got in the back, but Edward wasn't there. "Jasper, where did Edward go?"

He looked at me in the rearview mirror as he peeled out of the lot. "He took his Volvo home, he'll meet us there." I nodded and looked out the window where the rain was starting to come down harder.

Arriving at Edward and Emmett's apartment complex, Jasper parked as close as possible and we ran inside to get out of the rain faster. "Hey, guys." Rosalie smiled as she held open the door for all of us to come in. She walked back over to Emmett, who was playing video games, and sat next to him.

"Whatcha' playin' Emmett?"Alice asked, bouncing over to the love seat. Jasper followed like he was attached to some invisible line.

"Grand Theft Auto 4." He answered with a devious smile, then shot some guy and took his money.

I sat next to Rose and Emmett on the couch, taking the last vacant seat in the area. I looked at the screen to try and see what the objective of the game was. Considering the title, I figured it had something to do with cars. My suspicion was confirmed when Emmett ran someone over. "Very nice." I muttered. Emmett turned to look at me and grinned.

"Just a warning, running people over in real life, won't go over well with the cops." He boomed out a laugh that nearly covered Jasper's tenor and Alice's soprano laughs. Edward entered the room from the hall then and I looked up as he surveyed the room. There was no seat for him to sit, but I knew that if I moved he'd be too much of a gentleman and wouldn't take the seat. So I watched to see what he would do out of the corner of my eye, keeping my face turned towards the TV.

He looked around, looked at me, and then looked over his shoulder. I wondered if he was going to leave the room and get another chair. The he looked back at me again and walked towards me. I didn't look up as he sat on the ground in front of my legs, so his back barely touched my knees. "Hey." He greeted everyone.

"Hi." I said and he looked over his shoulder to smile at me. I moved a little closer to let him know that he could lean back; I didn't want him to hurt his back or anything. I rested my elbows on my knees and started gently playing with Edward's hair. I glanced around the room and saw Emmett watching us; I was surprised to see that he looked protective, like he thought I was going to hurt Edward.

"Let's play Rock Band." Jasper suggested, causing Emmett to break away and look at him.

"Yeah sure, I call drums!" He grabbed the drum set and dragged it to where he was sitting. "You wanna play, Rosie?"He asked as Jasper switched the discs and pulled a guitar strap over his shoulder.

She thought for a moment before shrugging. "Sure, I'll play bass. How about you guys?" She looked between Alice, Edward, and I. I shook my head at the same time as Edward but Alice bounded up and out of her seat, grabbing the fake microphone.

Not a minute later, the room was filled with arguments as everyone fought over the song they'd play. I shook my head, laughing as Alice whacked Emmett with her microphone for saying they should play 'Joker and the Thief' by Wolfmother. "Do you really think I could sing that?!" she screeched at him as he covered his head with his arms.

"No, of course not, you pick the song!" He yelled, trying to get her to back off. She glowered for a moment at him before turning away and examining the list of songs.

"You know, they're going to argue like this every three minutes for the next hour and a half, right?" I asked Edward and he shook his head slowly.

"Got any ear plugs?" He muttered.

"Nope." I answered, wincing as Emmett beat the drums like crazy. "He's going to break the poor things!"

"Emmett, what did the drums ever do to you?!" Edward yelled over the ruckus at him. I brushed some red-brown hair at of his eyes. I sighed as the song ended and more fighting ensued.

"Edward, come over here and do the vocals for 'Nine in the Afternoon!'" Emmett said looking over at him. He pouted and it wasn't the prettiest thing in the world.

"Only if you wipe that expression off your face." The puppy dog face was immediately gone and Edward stood, his hand brushed mine, seemingly by accident, before he walked over to them and Alice handed him the microphone. I watched as Edward sang, getting a perfect score on the song, and then rubbing it in Emmett's face.

He came and sat back down at my feet and I went back to combing my fingers through his hair. We watched the others for a while and I got bored, so I turned to look at Edward…who was already staring at me. "What?" I asked shyly, ducking my head to hide my blush. Did I have something in my teeth? I desperately hoped not.

"You just look beautiful." I blushed even deeper. Way to be blunt, Edward! I felt like my face was on fire. I glanced up at him and he was watching me with intense green eyes. He had the most gorgeous eyes…

"What?"He asked, snapping me out of my day dreams.

"What?"

"What did you just say?" He asked and I felt my eyes widen. Did I say that out loud?!

"I didn't say anything."

"You're still a horrible lair." His eyes narrowed as he waited for an answer.

"Deal with it." I muttered, looking away. No way was I going to tell him he had amazing eyes.

"Forget it; I just remembered that I had something to show you." He smiled crookedly and his eyes sparkled with excitement. Who could deny a face like his? He stood and took my hand, leading me down the hall and into his room where he closed the door, muffling the sounds of everyone else.

At first I couldn't tell what was different because Edward left the lights out, the only light there was, came from his bedroom window. I gasped when I did see the new addition though. "It's beautiful Edward." I walked over to the black, baby grand piano. He followed me and sat down, patting the bench next to him. I sat down and watched as he rested his fingers on the keys. After a moment of thought he started paying a song I immediately recognized.

"How To Save A Life by The Fray." He nodded and continued playing. We both started singing softly, but our voices faded in and out as the piano played steady the entire time. I watched as his fingers easily glided across the ivory keys. When the song came to an end, he took my hand and led me over to his bed quietly.

He lay down and pulled me down next to him. I stared at the ceiling as the room fell silent except for background noise from outside our bubble, but I could tell he was watching me and I fought the blush creeping up my neck at his attention.

I noticed that Edward had seemed to have gotten bolder today, and so had I. He'd held my hand more and I had just been playing with his hair which is something I'd never done with any guy. I really hoped it continued because his hand felt so good wrapped around mine and I didn't think I'd ever be satisfied with enough of him. I smacked myself mentally and tried to get a grip. _Slow down, don't overwhelm him. You've never felt like this before and you _can't _screw it up… _

I heard yelling from Emmett and screeching from Alice and I smiled, closing my eyes and trying to tune them out. There was a loud 'OW!' and then high pitched peals of laughter that could only come from Alice. "My roommate seems to take great pleasure in harming your brother." I said, looking at Edward.

He grinned "So do I." I shook my head and looked back up at the ceiling. We fell silent again and my thoughts suddenly turned to the song written on my shoes. I didn't want to break the comfortable silence but I was still curious and would be until I found out.

Edward moved and I glanced at him. He moved so he was resting on his forearms and his torso was hovering above me. His eyes seemed to pierce right into my soul as he hesitantly reached up and tucked my hair behind my ear and then traced his fingers down my jaw, leaving a searing trail on my skin. He cupped my cheek and gently stroked his thumb over my bottom lip, making it burn as well. "You should get home and get some sleep." He finally said and I was surprised that his voice sounded huskier than usual. He sat up and I slowly did as well, staring at him with wide eyes. Butterflies assaulted the walls of my stomach to the point where I was shocked I didn't throw up.

"Yeah, I should, Alice as classes early tomorrow." Edward nodded and I stood while he stayed in place. I stared at him for a second, torn. I leaned forward and touched my lips to his for a fraction of a second. "Good night, Edward." I turned and started to walk out of the room.

"Good night, Isabella." I barely heard him say before I closed the door behind me.

**A/N: So, like I said in the beginning of the chapter, please go read Daddy's Little Cannibal's stories. She's under my favorite authors. I hope you liked this chapter. Tell me what you think of it in a review. If you haven't already read it, go check out my other story 'Trust' please. It's more popular than this story, but I still like getting favorites and reviews for it :] Have a good day and summer if yours has started. **


	16. Home

**Random disclaimer: I don't own Twilight or any of the songs I've used in this story.**

"_Good night, Edward." I turned and started to walk out of the room. _

"_Good night, Isabella." I barely heard him say before I closed the door behind me._

**BPOV**

I was right. The next morning Alice was a mess when she got out of bed. All she did was mumble and mope around until she had to leave for classes. "See you, Alice." I called from where I sat in the living room and I heard her mumble something that sounded like 'whatever' before the door closed behind her. It was 8 on a Monday morning and I'd already gotten ready for the day. I sighed, now what to do? I didn't have any plans; I hardly ever did unless they were with Alice.

I decided to go to Macy's. I slipped on my Chuck's and grabbed my messenger bag in case I decided to write or do some kind of homework to maybe get ahead in some of my classes. I grabbed my iPod before leaving the apartment and traveling down to the parking lot. I paused by my clunker truck but then shook my head and continued, the air felt cleansing in my lungs. The ground was wet from rain that had stopped less than an hour ago. I pulled out my iPod and flipped through the songs quickly as I thought of a good song to sing, if only quietly, I was in the mood to just sing. It was a good feeling. I stopped on the song "Walk You Home" by Karmina and clicked select. The beginning guitar started and with my right hand, I plucked my fingers across my legs like the guitar. I didn't know this song very well, but I could figure it out if I wanted too.

"_Slow down, what's on your mind?  
It's alright; I'm on your side.  
I hate to see your injury, I wish that you could transfer all  
Your pain to me._

"_Stay here, it's okay to cry.  
Let me help you make it right.  
Let's turn up the radio.  
Let the band remind you that you're not alone.  
We all get alone._

"_Even the brave, they depend on someone.  
The moon only shines with the help of the sun.  
And it's not as safe when you're walking alone,  
I'll walk you home._

"_Sun's out, but it feels like rain.  
So I will illuminate your day.  
I'm afraid I'm losing it.  
What's it gonna take for me to get through this?  
We'll get through this._

"_Even the brave, they depend on someone.  
The moon only shines with the help of the sun.  
And it's not as safe when you're walking alone,  
I'll walk you home,  
I'll walk you home._

"_Need the band to play the song,  
Someone sent to keep you strong.  
It's harder when you're on your own,  
Success is not the same alone.  
Can't have up without the down,  
Need the strength to have the round.  
I'll provide the harmony,  
Your song is best accompanied._

"_Even the brave, they depend on someone.  
The moon only shines with the help of the sun.  
And it's not as safe when you're walking alone.  
I'll walk you home,  
I'll walk you home,  
I'll walk you home."_

Towards the end of the song, I was starting to get weird looks because I was on campus and even though I was singing quiet, my voice was still audible. I turned off my iPod and walked to the coffee shop, quietly, trying to be invisible. Bells jingled when I walked into Macy's and people looked up to see who it was. I quickly walked over to the counter and Mike waved at me. I hurried over to him and waited patiently as he made my drink. "So, Bella," He said turning towards me and handing me my drink. I tried not to wince when he purposely brushed his fingers against mine. "I was wondering if you'd…" He paused and his eyes were glued to something over my shoulder. Before I could turn, two arms wrapped around my waste and I felt lips at my neck. I cocked my head to the side slightly so the familiar lips would have room to roam. My heart thumped wildly when I looked up into Edward's green eyes.

"Hey, beautiful." He murmured and I tried not to melt into his arms.

"Hi, handsome." I returned and when I glanced at Mike, his eyes were wide, his jaw dropped. I started to smirk but Edward pecked me on the lips before glaring up at Mike. He straightened slightly and held up a hand to Mike.

"Edward Masen."He introduced to him and I pouted slightly, waiting for him to put his arm back. Mike loosely shook his hand, like he wasn't all there.

"Mike Newton." He answered.

"It was nice meeting you." As we turned away I could see Edward's jaw clenched and I smiled as I understood what was going on.

"Jealous much?" I raised my eyebrows at him as I sat at the booth he'd walked us to. Edward sat at the other side and looked at me in all seriousness.

"I am not jealous." He stated and I laughed quietly.

"Liar."

He glared playfully. "What makes you think I'm lying?"

"That's not how you usually greet me."

"I can if you want me to." He said and I smiled.

"That would actually be kinda nice."I mumbled, looking away and blushing.

"Sounds like a plan, I liked it too." He grinned and I sipped my coffee.

"So, why are you here? You don't play on Mondays."

"Because I figured you'd probably come here." I blushed redder at that.

"Were you waiting for me?"

He smiled crookedly "It's rude to show up at someone's house unannounced."

"You could've called." I raised an eyebrow and he shrugged. "Well, I guess I would've come here anyway. Do you want a drink?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I had one while I waited." I nodded sitting back in my seat. "Did you sleep well?" He asked, folding his arms on the table top.

No, I was up half the night thinking about him. "Yeah, I slept well." That was true. I hadn't got much sleep, but the sleep I'd gotten had been good. I'd dreamt about him. I blushed at the thought, I was really getting in deep and I didn't know if any good would come of it. I'd never had a crush this big on a guy. I was staring over Edward's shoulder as I thought and he cleared his throat.

"Penny for your thoughts?"He looked at me curiously and cocked his head to the side.

"Hm, not a million dollars." I stuck my tongue out and he pouted.

"Please? Tell me, Bella?" I had to look away and I shook my head, pursing my lips. He sighed and sat back.

"So, if you were waiting for me, do you have something to tell me?" I asked to change the subject. He allowed for it to happen and I silently thanked him.

"No, I just wanted to see you." He smiled crookedly again and I looked down self-consciously.

I refrained from asking him why he would want to see me. "It's nice to see you too." I said, looking up from under my lashes. "What are you doing today?" I rested my elbow on the table and my cheek in my palm, gazing into his emerald eyes. I tried not to drown in his green depths as he responded.

"Nothing really, that's one reason I wanted to see you. Are _you_ doing anything today?"I shook my head and he nodded slowly. "Want to hang out at my house?" I smiled at how he phrased the question.

"Sure, that sounds good. Is Emmett there?"

"Yeah, he has the same class schedule as me." He stood and held out a hand, which I took and laced our fingers together. "Let us be off. Did you bring your car?" We walked out into the damp air and I automatically looked up to try and judge when it would start raining. It didn't look like I would have to wait long. I shook my head no and he nodded. "We'll take my car then." He led me to his silver Volvo and held my door open for me. I climbed in and rested my head on the rest, staring at the ceiling for a moment before closing my eyes. "Are you okay?" He brushed his fingers down my forearm and I shivered slightly.

"I'm fine."

"Now who's the liar?" He asked and I opened my eyes, looking at him.

"I'm not lying." I wasn't; what made him think I was lying? I was a horrible liar, when I was lying, you _knew_. There was no doubt about it.

"You look tired, or like something is bothering you." His eyebrows pulled together as he tried to look at me and the road at the same time.

I shook my head "Nope, I'm fine, don't worry about me." I smiled and took his hand, trying to make him forget about it.

He made a humming sound and tightened his hand a little. I sighed contentedly and watched his face as he drove. He was too perfect. I felt like someone was going to pinch me and I would wake up. He wouldn't be there in reality. How could I be that lucky? Besides Alice, no one had ever stuck around. Why should Edward be different? The same went for Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett; they were more likely to leave than Edward and Alice. I sighed mentally, now something was wrong. Edward suddenly squeezed my hand and when I looked at him he was still watching the road. It was like he just knew I needed the comfort of knowing that someone was there. "Hey," I looked up at him "I found this band the other day and I think you may like them, if you haven't already heard of them."

I motioned for him to continue. "Have you ever heard of Ingram Hill?"

"Nope, do you have a CD or MP3 of them?"

"Yeah, I'll show you when we get home." I wondered if he noticed that he said 'home' not 'my house.' It made something in my stomach squirm in a way that was pleasant, but at the same time made me feel the need to throw up.

"Cool, I love finding new music." He smiled and I returned it as we pulled into a resident parking space. I got out before he could open my door and he looked a little peeved. I chuckled and he casually threw an arm over my shoulder and I moved closer to him. We hurried in when it started to rain again. "Sprikling." We both said and then laughed. He suddenly swooped down and kissed my cheek. I smiled and met his eyes for a moment before tripping over my own feet.

He steadied me and I turned back to him "What was that for?"

"I guess I just couldn't hold myself back."

"Hm." I moved my finger to motion he get closer. He leaned forward and I pecked him on the lips and grinned. "I couldn't hold myself back." I bit my lip and smiled. His eyebrows rose and he leaned in to kiss me again. I leaned into it without thinking and we kissed slowly until the door next to us banged open.

"Get a room." A teenage boy, maybe fifteen, growled before stalking down the hall and turning a corner. Edward rolled his eyes and took my hand so he could lead me down the hall to his apartment.

"Who was that?" He shrugged.

"A neighbor." He let me into the apartment. "Emmett?"

"Yeah?!" Emmett called from the room across the hall from Edward's bedroom.

"Bella's here so don't come out in your underwear or anything!"Edward called back and we heard some mumbling from his room, a bang, a muttered 'ouch' and then he came out of his room, dressed in shorts and a T-shirt. "You don't look dressed for an upcoming winter." Edward stated and then plopped down on a couch. I sat next to him and Emmett ambled into the room.

"I don't have anywhere to be and the apartment is warm. Hey, Bells." I smiled and waved slightly. That was a new nickname, Alice had called me that once or twice but I was usually just Bella. He was about to sit down on the love seat but paused "Either of you want a drink?" He asked, walking into the kitchen. I shook my head but Edward asked for a Coke.

A minute later, Emmett came back in the room and tossed Edward a Coke, opening his own. Edward opened his, apparently without thinking, and coke spurted everywhere. "Crap!" He jumped up and covered it with his hand, running into the kitchen while Emmett and I laughed at his shocked expression. I had a feeling that anyone who was previously sleeping, had awoken to Emmett's raucous laughter.

Edward came back into the kitchen a minute later, glaring at Emmet darkly. "I should've known you'd shake it up."

"You shoulda." Emmett grinned and sipped at his own Coke. "By the way, Bro, you might want to change your shirt."Edward looked down at the Coke all down his shirt and groaned.

"One minute, Bella, I'm going to go change."He started to walk down the hall.

"Good, because I wouldn't want you to get me all sticky."He looked back at me and quirked an eyebrow. I just smiled and he retreated down the hall and into his bedroom. I watched where he disappeared for a moment. When I turned away, Emmett was watching me and I blushed slightly. Did I have something in my teeth or what?

"You know, Edward's changed a lot since he met you." I sat back. This was either going to be good, or really bad. "You've probably noticed at least a slight change, but you wouldn't be able to tell just how drastic the difference is…Edward's happier. He used to mope around and he would get mad really quickly, he didn't laugh often. When he did, he never seemed all there, just going through the motions. That's all changed since he met you. Like I said, he's happier and more…alive. He day dreams more, but in a good way, he's not there because he's thinking about you. It's not just because he's feeling empty. He likes you a great deal. I like you, too. Edward's fragile when it comes to these things, and I don't want him to get hurt. I'm not going to threaten you or anything, but if you don't want him like that, end it now." I stared at him for a long moment.

"I make him happy?" I finally chocked out.

"Happier than I've ever seen him." Emmett answered.

"Emmett…I…I just-" Edward's door opened and his head popped out into the hall way.

"Hey, Bella, you wanna come listen to that band I told you about?" I opened my mouth and looked at Emmett, who made a shooing motion that I didn't think he would do if Edward could see him.

"Yeah, sure." I stood and walked into Edward's room.

"They're called Ingram Hill." He walked over to his stereo after closing the bedroom door. He flipped on the stereo and a song that sounded like rock and country mixed started up. It was really good. Edward pulled me to sit down on the bed next to him, singing quietly. _"You're a four letter word that I used to know. Like hope, and pain, and Mary."_

"Like the name Mary?" I asked and he nodded. I hummed in response and sat back against his pillows. He kept singing, absently staring out the window as I watched him, like in his car. "Edward?" He looked at me and I held up my hand, fingers spread. He placed his hand against mine and I laughed at the size difference. His fingers extended past mine by almost an inch and his palm was huge. I took his hand and placed it in my lap, playing with his fingers. "Big hands to play a big piano." I murmured and he smiled a lop-sided smile. His green eyes burned brightly with life and I felt my stomach squirm as I recalled Emmett's words. _Like I said, he's happier, and more...alive_.

I reached up and cupped his cheek in my hand. He was so warm. He leaned into my touch but his eyes were curious.

**EPOV**

Bella's eyes were warm but she looked sad about something, and the small line between her eyebrows showed that she was thinking about something hard. She reached up and touched my cheek and I automatically leaned into her hand. Her eyes still looked sad and I tried to let my expression ask the question. She started to lean closer and I leaned in as well. We both stopped only a little over an inch away, staring at each other. The words from "Kiss a Girl" by Keith Urban flashed through my mind.

_It's that moment when, you start closin' in.  
First you're holding back, then surrendering.  
It can start a fire, light up the sky._

I closed the gap between us and pressed my lips to hers, feeling fireworks explode inside me. She wrapped her arms around my neck, bringing herself closer. She nipped my lip like she had yesterday before Jasper had interrupted us. Had it only been yesterday? Her breathing became ragged and I smiled as I traced my lips down her jaw to the hollow behind her ear. She pulled my lips back to hers and we kissed again.

We spent most of our day like that. We talked the day away, kissing twice when we couldn't or didn't want to hold back. We talked about Bella's taste in books, how she enjoyed classics, and I told her of my distaste for Wuthering Heights, one of her favorites. It took some persuading before she forgave me for that one. We also spoke about music that we both liked, and artists neither of us listened to, and why. I learned a lot of pointless, yet seemingly important to me, details about Bella. Simple things like favorite band/artist, favorite author, favorite book, and favorite book series. Every bit of information was filed away for future reference. All day, I watched her blush, smile, laugh, tuck her hair behind her ear, and touch my hand or shoulder in a way that made me tremble.

Right now, we were silent and I reached over and touched her satiny-smooth cheek. Her warm brown eyes opened and her luscious lips turned up in a smile. "What are you thinking about?" She asked.

"Hmm," I hummed and smiled "You." She blushed and looked away. "What?" She shook her head and blushed deeper. I stroked my thumb across her bottom lip and she looked up at me with saucer-wide eyes. "Please?" I whispered. "What are you thinking?" Her eyes narrowed and she finally sighed.

She sat up and looked out my bedroom with a nervous expression. "You." My heart soared.

"Is there something wrong with that?"

"No."

"What's with that charming blush then?" I touched her cheek again. I couldn't help myself.

"It's embarrassing to say." She smiled and I grinned back.

"Then you don't need to say anything." I lay back down on my bed and gently pulled on her hand so she would lie down as well. She rested her head on my shoulder and I smiled, in what I was sure a stupid way, up at the ceiling.

"Can I try something?" She asked after a moment of silence. She sat up and looked down at me.

I shrugged "Of course." She continued to stare at me for a second, before crossing her legs and sitting front of me. I sat up and mimicked her position. She smiled and then rested her hand on my cheek before closing her eyes.

"What are you doing?"I asked as her fingers roamed down my jaw line.

"Feeling you."She answered quietly.

"Feeling me?" I questioned as her fingers glided across my lips, leaving a burning trail of fire on my skin. She made a humming sound of confirmation. I watched her as her fingers continued to move across my features.

"I'm memorizing how you _feel_, not just how you look." I smiled under her fingertips.

"Can I try?"

"When I'm done." She traced my ears and her hands drifted down either side of my neck to my shoulders. Her eyes slowly opened. "I've told you you're handsome beyond anyone I've ever seen, right?" She blushed at her own words.

"Not in those exact words, but I've gotten the message." I closed my own eyes and did the same thing she'd done for me. My insides burned for her as I moved my fingertips across her face. She thought I was handsome. If I took off my shirt and she could see my scars that opinion would change. On one hand I didn't want that to happen, on the other, my scars were a part of me and my past and if I wanted to be with her, she had to accept that, like she'd accepted everything else.

She had a small nose, perfect for her face, and her lips were plump, though her bottom lip was a little full for her top lip. Her skin was smooth and I let my fingers explore, but also tried to keep myself in check. I traced my hands down her long, slender neck and ended with my hands on her shoulders, as she had. I opened my eyes and she was watching me with an intense expression.

Did I want her to see my scars? Maybe she would change her mind about me when she saw how bad they are. Maybe she'd think I could be a monster. Or maybe there would be that horrible pity in her eyes. But did I have to doubt her? Every other time she'd proven me wrong. Why shouldn't that hold true here too? _Because this is worse than any of the other things_. I thought to myself.

"Bella, can I show…" I was cut off by someone barging into the room. Little Pixie Alice jumped up on my bed next to us and smiled.

"Hey, guys."She grinned "Am I interrupting anything?" Without waiting for an answer, she continued "Come on, Bella, time to head home. You've got classes tomorrow and I've decided that tonight would be good for a Movie Night." Bella smiled, but threw a curious glance in my direction. I shrugged and she looked back at Alice.

"That sounds good Alice, what movie are we watching?"

"It's a surprise." Was her reply and Bella rolled her eyes.

"Fine, but I'm gonna walk home. I'll see you soon." Alice jumped off the bed and headed for the door.

"'Kay, see you soon. Bye, Edward."

"See you." A moment later, we heard the front door close. "You shouldn't walk home alone." I said immediately. "It's not safe, are you sure you don't want a ride home?" Bella shook her head and stood. "Can I walk you home then?"

"Sure." She looked like she was sharing a secret smile with herself. An inside joke. I led her out of my room and shrugged into my coat. Giving her an old one, that didn't fit me because she'd forgotten to bring one. She pulled on her messenger bag and followed me out into the hall. Once we were on the sidewalk, Bella looked up at me "So, you're walking me home, so I can be safe and don't have to walk alone. How are you going to get home?" I thought for a moment about her question. Was it so weird that I felt at home right here on the sidewalk? Just because Bella was there. I felt at home whenever I was with her. My apartment was just that, an apartment, not a home.

Bella looked up at me and smiled beautifully, a blush spreading across her cheeks. Looking at her then, it hit me like a ton of bricks and I froze on the sidewalk. I was in love with Bella. Somehow, not even noticing, I'd fallen for Isabella Swan. Hard.

"What's wrong, Edward?" She took my hand and squeezed gently. I just looked at her with new eyes. I loved her. I loved Bella Swan. I desperately wanted to say it out loud, but I refrained. I didn't want to mess this up. I _couldn't_ mess this up. She looked even more perfect than she usually did. It was raining when we first started walking and her hair was damp, she had circles under her eyes from what seemed lack of sleep, and she was wearing a baggy, too-large jacket, and she was perfect. I opened my mouth and then closed it again. I looked around to make sure I would remember this place. I wanted to come back and be able to visit it sometime.

Bella suddenly hugged me and I wrapped my arms around her tightly. I had a feeling we were hugging for different reasons. I was trying to convey all the love that had suddenly flooded into my system in that one hug. Do you know how hard it is to convey a life-changing love for someone in one hug? It seemed impossible. "Thank you." Bella whispered into my chest.

"For what?" I asked gently, surprised I could even talk at the moment.

"For staying." She responded simply. I smiled and took her hand.

"My pleasure." I walked her back to her apartment and she made me promise to call Emmett to pick me up. As we walked up to her door I touched her shoulder, causing her to stop and look at me curiously. I leaned in and kissed her tenderly. "Good night, Bella, sleep well." She stared at me for a moment, before bidding me good night and slipping into her apartment. The door clicked closed behind her quietly and I stared at it for a minute. "I love you." I whispered before walking away, in the opposite direction of home.

**A/N: Woo, another chapter, this is my longest chapter ever!! Woohoo! I hope you guys liked it, this chapter was really important. Now, I've been writing like crazy lately, so, the faster you guys reach 25 reviews, the faster you get an update, kay? Sound fair enough? I don't like making review demands, but I haven't been getting as much feedback for this story, and you guys can actually be really inspiring, believe it or not… So, anyway, hope you loved it, review and vote in my poll!!**

***Click Here***


	17. Music and Books

**A/N: I have a shout-out for 3 people who are stand out reviewers that I may have talked to! 3daygirl told me about both of the artists from the last chapter and I LOVE them both! She has awesome taste in music :] Next is BabyDawn, she's an outstanding reviewer that always makes me smile. Last, but not least, is Edward's La tua Cantante who is another awesome reviewer who also has good taste in music. Not that all of you guys aren't good reviewers, it's just that these three write more lengthy reviews that point out things they like specifically and sometimes it sways my opinion. I believe I've talked to all three of them, if only briefly. :] On with the story!!**

"_I love you." I whispered before walking away, in the opposite direction of home._

**EPOV**

I, Edward Masen, had realized last night that I love Bella Swan. It was still shocking to think about. Mind boggling, to say the least. It was Tuesday morning and I was driving to Macy's for my 'shift' as live entertainment.

When I arrived, I immediately walked over to the piano and warmed up before they opened the doors; I knew the drill by now. Not ten minutes after the doors opened, people were already coming in, among them Alice and Bella. I smiled crookedly at Bella and nodded towards her as I continued to play. She blushed and after getting drinks with Alice, sat down at a table right next to the stage.

I paused for a moment as I thought of a song to play, and decided on a fast, up-beat one that used to be Elizabeth's favorite. My mother used to love listening to me play when my father was at work. When it came to a close there was polite applause from the group of people who'd come in so far. I looked up to see about ten people already inside and sipping at coffee, going about their business. "Good morning." I said to no one in particular. There were a few "good morning's" in response but not too much of a reaction. I played some classical pieces I knew and sang a few songs, including 'You Found Me' by The Fray. I looked at Bella when I announced the song title, singing this was the first time she'd heard me sing. While I sang a few more people spilled into the little shop and made themselves at home. It really was cozy here.

I did my usual set of about four songs and then started taking requests. Bella and Alice stayed through my whole shift, watching and possibly waiting for me to hurry up. As soon as I stood from my piano Bella was out of her seat and walking up towards me with Alice hot on her heals. "Hey, Edward, you want to hang out today?" She asked with an adorable smile and a light blush gracing her cheeks.

"Of course; Alice, are you coming too?" Alice smiled deviously and Bella blushed redder.

"Alice came to make sure I would ask you and not chicken out." She mumbled quietly, looking away, I barely even caught what she said. I chuckled, shaking my head.

"Well, she asked, you can go about your business, Alice." I smirked and made a shooing motion. She stuck her little tongue out at me, said goodbye to Bella, and danced out of the shop. Bella's blush had cooled down a little bit and she was looking at me again. "So, what did you have in mind?"

She didn't answer, just pouted at me "I thought we made a deal about how you'd greet me?" She whined, but I could see the humor dance in her brown eyes.

I smiled "Right, I forgot about that, my apologies." I kissed her softly and she was smiling when I pulled away. I took her hand and started to lead her out of the shop, grinning when she started lightly swinging our hands between us. It wasn't the first time she'd done it; you could tell she didn't realize she was doing it though, because after a minute she would stop unless I continued. "I have a question, because I'm not positive if it's already happened, or if I have to ask you." She looked up at me to show she was listening.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" Bella stopped mid-step and I froze, maybe I shouldn't have said anything. Then Bella grinned hugely, like Alice-grin huge.

"Yes." Relief swept through me and I scooped her up, swinging her. She yelped in surprise, but when I set her back on her feet she was laughing. "That was fun." She said in between musical giggles. I kissed her cheek, because she was still laughing and then slung an arm around her shoulders. She put her own arm around my waist as her laughter died down. She leaned her head on my shoulder and sighed softly, it was a happy sigh. It still thrilled me that I made her happy.

"So where are we going?" We were walking towards the little shopping area on campus. Kind of like a little 'gift shop' area.

"The music store and then the book store." She smiled up at me and I nodded in agreement.

"Sounds good to me."

"So… What's your draw to music?" She suddenly asked.

I thought for a moment, I wanted to explain this as best as I could. "It's hard to say, maybe the release it gives. When I was young, I could play piano and forget about all my troubles for a short time. Maybe it helps me keep alive a connection to my mother. She used to love watching me play, I think it helped her forget for a while too… I've just always loved music, it what I'm majoring in, when I'm out of college, I want to be a concert pianist." She was nodding slowly as I finished talking and I wondered what drew _her _to music. "Why do _you_ love music?"

"Hm…I don't know. It's just something I've always loved as well. Probably for the same reason as you, I can go off into my own little world and forget for a while. It felt like I had some kind of company when I played, I don't feel quite as alone." That worried me, and made me feel a little sad.

"Do you feel alone now?"

She looked up at me with surprised eyes. "No," she smiled "I have you." My heart soared and I smiled crookedly at her. Her eyes seemed to glaze over for a few seconds, until she blinked and she quickly looked away. "Music store first." Bella pointed to the store I'd spent a lot of my first year in. I opened the door for her and we walked in. It was fairly crowded and some rock or alternative song was playing, Linkin Park I believed. I followed Bella around, picking up CDs here and there that I could add to my collection. Bella grabbed one from an artist I hadn't heard of and then another one that I owned, 'Cold in California' by Ingram Hill. I grinned, I was glad that she liked the album I'd shown her yesterday.

We walked up to the front of the store to pay and, on Bella's insistence, she paid for her purchases while I paid for mine. Trying to persuade her to let me pay by saying I was the boyfriend didn't go over well. "To the bookstore!" Bella pointed forward and led the way out of the shop as I followed, desperately trying to contain my laughter at her silliness. Three stores down, we entered our next stop. Bella seemed to know where she was going so, again, I followed her. If only Emmett could see me…He'd probably yell that I was whipped loud enough for the world to hear. Then I would have to correct him, I was in love, not whipped. I glanced up from the blurb on the back of a book I was looking at, at Bella. She had just pulled a book from the shelf and then plopped down on the ground, in the middle of the isle, and then started reading. I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face, she was so different. She was beautiful and she was special.

I sat down a couple feet away and opened my own book. I usually read the first two or three chapters of a book before I bought it; you could tell if it would be good or not pretty easily. Bella shifted and I looked up for a second. She lay down on the hard ground and rested her head in my lap, continuing to read. I shook with silent laughter, trying not to distract her. I leaned down and pecked her on the forehead, brushing some hair off her face. She glanced up from the pages at me and smiled gently before returning to her world of fiction. I sighed and opened my book again, picking up where I left off. When I got to chapter two, Bella stood up and set her book on the ground next to me, before wondering back down the aisle. I watched her for a moment before going back to my reading.

Not five minutes later, she returned with a new, bigger book. She took back her seat, with her head in my lap and opened the book. "Call me Ishmael." Then she laughed. I rolled my eyes at her when I saw that she wasn't reading Moby Dick.

"That's such a bookworm joke." I muttered just loud enough for her to hear.

She glared up at me, and then switched to a pout "I thought it was funny." She whispered and I melted.

"Okay, okay, it was a little funny." She smiled and then stuck her nose back in her book. I chuckled and set down my book, picking up the first one she'd gotten. What do you know? Wuthering Heights. "Even after I gave you my speech on why this book isn't good, you're still buying it?" Before I even finished talking Bella was giving me a death glare.

"You may not like it, but I happen to enjoy it deeply. Now, unless you want me to give you a bruise, you better quit bashing my story choices!" She turned back to her book as I laughed. She shushed me and continued to read as I rolled my eyes at her.

I got out my iPod and turned on the song I'd been listening to earlier and tucked one earphone into my ear. Bella took a fleeting look in my direction before grabbing the other earphone and putting it into her ear so she could listen. I smiled and looked through my artists as she picked up the book I'd chosen.

Twenty minutes later, we were at the cash register, Bella with _five_ books, and I with two. Again she insisted on paying for her own stuff. I waited while we were in line and as soon as Bella set her stuff down for a moment and looked away, I grabbed one of the books and added it to my own pile. When she scooped them back up, she sighed "That helped quite a bit." I just smiled at her, trying not to laugh when she didn't notice.

When we walked out of the store, I reached into my bag and handed Bella the medium-sized hardback book. She stared at it for a moment and then looked up, glaring darkly. "What? A boyfriend can't buy his lovely girlfriend a book she fancies?" She blushed and then whacked me with the book.

I grabbed my arm "Ow." Like that hurt, Bella's eyes widened a little.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to actually hurt you."This could be fun.

"A kiss could make it better." I said, letting my lower lip stick out a little. She rolled her eyes and smiled.

"I'm fairly sure you're not hurt, but we better make sure." She got on her toes and I leaned my head down a little to kiss her once, twice, and three times. "All better?"

I grinned "All better."

"'Kay…" We started walking back in the direction of Macy's to pick up my car when Bella suddenly whacked me again.

"What'd I do this time?!"

"You lied about me actually hurting you."

"Admit it, you felt a little satisfaction when you thought you did." She scowled and looked away, causing me to laugh. She wasn't very scary when she was angry. I wouldn't tell her that though.

We talked as we walked, multi-tasking, and I let her ramble about her books after she let me rant about my music. "I still can't believe you compose your own music!" She exclaimed as she sat in the passenger seat of my car.

I didn't reply until I was in the driver's seat. "Yeah, for quite a while now. I've actually been working on a new piece for a couple weeks. I finished it the day I got my new piano." I smiled as I thought about it and watched the road as it flew beneath my tires.

"Really? Can I hear it?" She looked so excited and it was _her_ song. How could I deny she hear it?

"How about tomorrow?" She nodded eagerly and started bouncing in her seat. It sent a thrill through me that she was so excited and I hoped against hope that I wouldn't disappoint her. "You look a little like Alice when you do that." She ignored that, continuing to bounce slightly.

"What's the song called?" I smiled but shook my head.

"I'll tell you tomorrow, I promise." She sighed in an exaggerated way and I stuck my tongue at her. She rolled her eyes at _my_ childishness and glanced out the windows where it was starting to pour buckets. I turned on the windshield wipers on high and slowed down a bit. Better safe than sorry, especially if Bella was in the car with me. "There's two umbrella's under the seat, you can get one if you want." She reached down and pulled out the smaller red one.

"Do you want the other?"

"Nah, I have one under my seat too."

"Three umbrellas? There's a difference between being prepared and being a worry-wart, Edward." She said teasingly. I just shrugged, you never knew with Seattle.

We arrived at her apartment complex and Bella told me to stop at the curb and let her go ahead so she could tell Alice I was coming. I complied and she got out of the car as I pulled away to find a parking space.

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**BPOV**

I was having so much fun with Edward today. I never knew he composed music; it wasn't helping me resist him crush-wise. I came to the stairs to go up to my apartment and I stopped, raising an eyebrow at my mortal enemy. "You plan on killing me today? That would kinda put a damper on things." Wow I hope no one saw me say that, they'd probably think I was insane. They wouldn't be all wrong with that assumption. I started my trek up the stairs, stepping carefully. When I reached the top, I got a little excited and, of course, tripped over the last step, narrowly missing a face-plant. Ouch. I sat on the top step and cataloged injuries. The heels of my hands were scraped up but not bleeding and I also had a scrap on my knee that was bleeding. I immediately plugged my nose and started walking, holding my pant leg up, to my apartment.

I left the door slightly ajar, so Edward could just come in. Alice heard my entrance and came into the entryway. "Bella! Can you do _anything_ without assistance?!" She ran into the bathroom and I plopped down on the couch. She came back a moment later with band-aids and a wipe for the blood. I continued to breathe through my mouth as I took the wipe and cleaned up the blood.

Edward came in then. "What happened?" He came over and sat next to me, looking at my knee and then taking my hands in his to examine the scrapes.

"I'm fine, Edward, I just tripped on the stairs. It's nothing new." I reassured him.

"You trip on the stairs often?" He gave me back my hands. Alice nodded her head quickly.

"Before you started coming around, she tripped once or more a week." I blushed.

"A week?" Edward looked shocked.

"A week." Alice confirmed and I was starting to get annoyed.

"Wow." Edward muttered.

"Yep."

"Okay, okay! We get that I'm a klutz!" I said quickly and rolled my eyes and Alice laughed her chime-like laugh, Edward's musical chuckle joined hers. I stood and grabbed my bag of books and my CDs, before leaving them there and going into my room. Not fifteen seconds later, Edward's face peeked into the room. Then he came in as I shelved my newly bought books.

"Hey."

"Hey." I replied. He came over and wrapped his arms around my waist, resting his chin on my shoulder. He touched his lips to my ear and I tried to suppress a tremble.

"You know, I don't have a problem with you being clumsy. It just gives me another reason to be with you all the time, so I can catch you." I turned in his arms and wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his chest. I felt him lean his chin on the top of my head. There was a moment of blissful silence before Edward spoke quietly "Can I show you something, Bella?"

"Sure."It was another minute before I pulled myself away from him enough to look at him. He sighed softly and released me.

"You've accepted every part of me, including my past. There's another part I want to show you." He started unbuttoning his shirt and it took me a moment to realize why he was doing it. By then Edward was standing in front of me with his shirt on the ground, his hands in his pockets, and looking at his feet. He was showing me the result of years of being beaten by his father. I reached up and paused with my fingers hovering not an inch above his chest. He nodded, answering my unasked question without even looking at me. I traced my fingers over some of his scars sadly. The scars marred his body and I didn't even want to think of how each must've been delivered.

I was glad I would never have to meet his father, he was a vile man, and I would probably end up attacking him, only to be killed or something. Nothing good would come of it. I slowly walked around Edward who didn't move from his position. On his back the scars were _worse_. I stared at him in shock. I felt a hot tear on my cheek and I wiped it away before he turned and saw it. I was suddenly seeing red as I felt a blinding rage engulf my mind, I wanted to kill Edward's father, I wanted to kill him now. I took a few quick steps back from Edward and turned around, glaring at the wall. I rubbed the bridge of my nose and locked all my muscles so I wouldn't break anything.

Edward didn't say anything, but I heard him moving, somewhere seemingly far away, not in the same room. I was brought back to reality by the feeling of Edward's fingers grazing the small of my back. "I can leave if you want me to." I panicked. Why would I want him to leave? Did he want to leave? I needed someone's company right now, someone to keep me from leaving the house and trying to find someone who fit the description I'd given Edward's father and then throttle them.

"No, please don't leave." I pleaded, probably sounding pathetic. Edward just looked at me as I pulled him onto the bed and lay down. He lay down next to me and I rested my cheek on his bare chest, over his heart. It was thumping erratically and I looked up at him. "What's wrong? Your heart is going crazy."

"I'm just kind of in shock." He was staring at the ceiling and his body seemed as rigid as mine had been a minute ago. The red had faded from my vision, but I was still tense and I tried to distract myself. "Are you okay now?" He asked quietly.

"I'm more in control." I answered, I wasn't okay, but I didn't feel like lying.

"In control of what?"

"My anger, that's why I turned away, I didn't want you to think I was angry with you."

"I'm glad you're not mad at me."

"More like I want to murder your father." Edward looked down at me with wide eyes.

"Never put yourself in danger for me." He sat up and looked me in the eyes for a long moment. "Never."

I was surprised by the change in mood, it was even more intense than before, and if I thought Edward had been tense a few minutes ago, it was nothing compared to now. "Okay." I said faintly. He stood and I followed him with his eyes as he pulled on his shirt and buttoned it up.

His phone rang and we both jumped at the sudden sound. "Hey, Emmett… yeah, that's fine, I'm with Bella…not right now, when it's right…" Edward looked a little frustrated and he kept glancing at me as he ran his fingers through his tousled bronze hair. He mumbled a few more replies before hanging up and looking at me. "Emmett needs me at home, I'm not totally sure why, something about a report that he has due this week…" I nodded and got up, walking towards him.

"I still accept you." I whispered and stood up on my toes. He automatically leaned down and our lips connected. One of Edward's hands moved to my waist and the other touched my cheek gently. I kissed him softly, he needed something sweet right now and when we broke up we were both breathing harder than usual. He looked at me a long time afterwards and a smile started to play around the corners of his lips while an emotion flicked across his features too fast for me to really recognize. Something like affection. He placed a gossamer kiss on my forehead and then left, looking like he was holding in a secret that was slowly killing him from the inside. I pondered over that expression most of the evening and night.

**A/N: Sorry that took so long to get up you guys, even though it's summer, my life has been insane lately. Like really insane. We still don't know for sure if we're moving to Malaysia, so life has kinda been in limbo, which sucks. Anyway, hope you guys liked it, thanks for getting in the 25 reviews! :D Guess what? I made a web site for my fanfics!! There's a link on the top of my profile and I would **_**really**_** like it if you guys would check it out. There's some info on my fics, a link to my MySpace if you want to contact me, and I'm starting to put up little sneak peeks for chapters before I post them. I put up some story ideas too. It's not very fancy (I don't know how to make banners or anything) but for me to get what I got is pretty good. :] So yeah, please check that out, vote in my poll, and review! I plan to update on the 16****th**** if I can write fast enough and if I get enough reviews :] **


	18. Goodbyes and a Lullaby

**A/N: Check out the brunnette writer's story 'Losing And Finding'! Thanks to those of you who've checked out my site and approved of the ideas for my next stories! I had fun talking to you all :]**

_He placed a gossamer kiss on my forehead and then left, looking like he was holding in a secret that was slowly killing him from the inside. I pondered over that expression most of the evening and night. _

**BPOV**

It was Wednesday evening and Alice and I were meeting everyone at Edward and Emmett's apartment for dinner and a movie and then just to hang out. I was starting to bounce in my seat again; I would get to hear Edward's music today. I was beyond excited. Alice grabbed my shoulder, keeping one hand on the wheel of her Porsche. "Jeez, Bella, chill, you're as bad as I am." I laughed and tried to suppress my bouncing until we arrived at Edward's place.

"Do you know what we're having for dinner?"

"Who cares, as long as Emmett doesn't cook it, everyone should make it through the night." I laughed as Alice searched for a parking space. She took the keys out of the ignition and tossed them to me, so I put them in my pocket. It wasn't unusual for her to give me the keys, sometimes I drove home. "Okay, let's go." We got to the stairs leading up to their apartment and stopped when we saw Edward sitting on the bottom step.

"Hey, guys." He turned his back to me and I stared at him as Alice giggled and rushed up the stairs.

"What?"

He glanced over his shoulder at me. "Get on my back." He said like it was obvious. "After what I learned yesterday, you're not allowed to set foot on stairs again. I'll carry you." I continued to stare at him and he turned around. He looked at me and I folded my arms stubbornly; there was no way I was getting on his back. He sighed quietly and then walked over to me.

"What…?" He scooped me up in his arms and I threw my arms around his neck holding on for dear life. "Please don't drop me, please don't drop me, _please don't drop me_." He laughed as I clung to him for dear life, looking down at the seemingly innocent steps.

When we got to his floor, he set me on the ground and I contemplated kissing the ground, but decided against it when I saw some gum on the ground. "My knight in shining armor." I scowled at him and he grinned.

"You know you're glad you didn't have to walk up them." I rolled my eyes, but truth be told, I kind of was. And I would never have a problem with his arms around me. "Come on, Rose made dinner and we're watching a movie. I think Jasper and Emmett rented Taken or something." He took my hand and pulled me down the hall.

"When can I hear you play?" I asked and he smiled crookedly as he let me into the apartment.

"After the movie." He led me to the couch, where I sat, and then he went into the kitchen. He came back holding a plate of food and a water bottle which he handed to me. He picked up his own plate from the small coffee table and sat down on the floor, with his back against my legs.

"Thanks for dinner, Rose." Edward said, taking a bite of salad. She smiled and she and Alice both turned to me as the guys got absorbed in a conversation about some football game.

"Hey, Bella, you wanna come shopping with Alice and I tomorrow? I wanted to pick up a couple blouses and maybe a dress or two."

I shrugged "Sounds fine with me, I wanted to get some new jeans anyway." I grinned in response to Alice's scowl.

"Cool, how about noon at my apartment?"

"Alice, do you know where that is?"I asked and she nodded.

"Well, no duh, Jazzy shares the apartment with her." I nodded and set my plate on the table, taking a drink from my water bottle.

"Who's ready for some movie action?!" Emmett jumped up and popped Taken into the DVD player. Everyone cheered and Alice bounced up out of her seat to flip off the light switch and then sat down on Jasper's lap. He nuzzled her neck and I looked away, giving them their privacy. Emmett ran into his room while the previews played and came back with an armful of pillows, he threw them on the ground in front of the TV and beckoned for Rose to join him, which she did. Edward stood and took her place next to me. He rested his arm over the back of the couch and I laid my head on his shoulder. His arm fell across my shoulders and he played with my hair, before switching to tracing patterns on my arm, then back to my hair a couple minutes later.

All through the movie he did this, switching back and forth, driving me wild. Every once in a while he would drop a kiss on my head or my hair and I couldn't pay _any _attention to the movie. "Are you getting bored with this?" I asked when we were about an hour into the movie. He smiled at me and his eyes smoldered in the darkness.

"Nope, are you enjoying the movie?"

"I don't even know what's going on…" I answered and he chuckled. He leaned down and nuzzled my neck making me shiver. I turned my head the other way so he had more room and I could feel his lips turn up against my neck. He was teasing me. And _why_ was I okay with that? Because it felt amazing. Maybe I should tease him a little. I turned on the couch, pulling my legs up and to my chest. I kneeled on the couch next to him and he looked at me questioningly. I smiled and dipped my head down to touch my lips to his jaw, which I traced up to his ear and kissed the hollow beneath it. He made a sound in the back of his throat and I tried to suppress my grin at his reaction.

I gently kissed down his throat, then back up it and barely grazing my lips against his, I moved to kiss his cheek, before sitting back down. He stared at me with wide eyes for a moment and I smiled cheekily. "What? I'm not allowed to tease?"

"No, there was no problem with that." He leaned down and kissed me gently, my lips eagerly moved with his and he pulled me into his lap.

I forgot about everyone else in the room as I felt Edward's tongue trace across my lower lip. I sighed into the kiss and Edward's tongue caressed mine. He tasted…there wasn't even a word. I stopped thinking for a moment and just went on instinct, letting my fingers find their way into his hair. Suddenly really loud coughs filled the rooms and we both pulled apart looking at, of course, Emmett.

"Getting a little frisky?" I blushed deeply and got off Edward's lap.

"Oh, you're one to talk." Alice rolled her eyes.

"At least I wait until the movie's over!"He yelled.

"Psh, rarely." Jasper muttered, trying to look around Emmett's big head at the screen.

"Whatever." Emmett said in a whiney voice and flopped back on the pillows, letting everyone see again. We went back to watching the movie and this time Edward actually let me watch. Of course by then I couldn't figure out what was going on.

"Thanks for ruining the movie." I said teasingly and he smiled.

"We can watch it another time; we have it for a week." I'd heard that the end of the movie was bad so for the last ten minutes I was waiting for someone to die. When it ended, everyone stretched and Alice and Jasper started up one of their little quiet conversations. They were the only time I ever saw Alice speak in a whisper.

I stood and turned to Edward expectantly. "What?" He asked innocently. I glared at him and he smiled in his uneven way. "Oh, you want to hear me play?"

"Yes, please, please, please." I whined and he laughed, taking my hand and pulling me down the hall to his bedroom. "When can I know what it's called?"

"When I'm done playing the song."He closed his bedroom door and sat me down on his bed. He knelt in front of me and took my foot in his hands. He held it up so I could see and I looked down at my Chuck's where he was tracing the musical notes written on them. "Carry me with you." He murmured and I smiled. "This is the song I'm going to play for you. You've had it with you this whole time. By carrying the music, you're carrying a part of me with you." He let go of my foot and stood, walking over to the piano. I tried not to 'aww' at that.

"You know, you seem to be as hopeless a romantic as me." He grinned at me and came back. He kissed me chastely on the lips before going back to his piano bench and sitting down. I watched him as his hands graced the keys and his head bent, I could see his eyes close in my mind, like they always did when he played.

He started playing and at first I could barely hear the notes he was playing so softly. As the song progressed, the notes moved in a more complex way and the melody weaved quietly, telling the story of someone or something I didn't know. I wanted to know it. I wondered what had inspired the first soft and simple, then more intricate and louder song he was playing. As I listened it morphed back into a hushed lullaby and Edward's shoulders seemed to relax as he played softer and softer until I couldn't hear it anymore. We sat in silence, letting the last notes of the song ring through our minds. It was more beautiful than any other song I'd ever heard. Nothing had quite caught my attention, heart, and mind so easily.

My eyes had closed and when I opened them, I was looking up at the floor; I looked up at Edward who was still at the piano. He finally stood and I stood as well, we walked towards each other and met in the middle of the room. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his gently before pulling back. "What inspired that?" I whispered, tracing my finger over his lips, which turned up in a smile.

"You." He leaned down and kissed me again. Me? What? I'll ask him in a minute, his lips were too distracting. He kissed softly, but firm, and I tugged on his hair, trying to get him somehow closer. "Bella…" He said quietly and I pulled away an inch.

"How did I inspire that?"

He chuckled once, "How could you have _not_ inspired that? Everything about you inspires. It's called 'Bella's Lullaby.'" I felt my cheeks get heated and he smiled, "You know, that shade of red looks amazing on you." I blushed even darker and he kissed me again, stroking my bottom lip with his tongue like he had earlier. I melted into his arms and our tongues danced. It probably wasn't the prettiest sight, but wow, I never wanted it to end. His hands found my hips and he pulled me against him.

"Thank you," I murmured, hoping he got that I meant the song; I didn't want to break apart and explain. I'd never had someone write me a song before, it was something I thought would never happen to me.

He made a humming sound and his fingers braided into my hair. "Bella…" He whispered again, this time I didn't pull away, just kept kissing him, trying not to explode with happiness. Edward pulled away and I bit back a complaint. He rested his forehead and mine and we breathed hard as we tried to control our gasps.

That was unlike…anything I'd ever felt before. My insides were on fire and I felt like I was going to blow up I was so happy. I'd never been this happy before, I was beyond Cloud 9, I was beyond heaven.

Edward looked at me with intense green eyes and that same emotion from yesterday appeared on his face, and stayed this time. "Bella, I love you."

And my world shattered.

I stared at him in silence, uncomprehending. There was no way he'd just said that. Edward wouldn't do that to me, because if he'd said those three words it would kill me. His smile slowly disappeared. "Bella?" He took my limp hands in his and rubbed his thumbs across the backs of my hands. "Bella, I love you. I know, it's a big thing to say, and I don't take it lightly. I won't leave you. Ever. You don't have to worry about that. Bella, you're unlike anyone I've ever known. You're _Bella_. You accepted me so easily and you didn't give up on me... I love you for so many reasons. For the way you look at me, the way you smile, the way you laugh, the way you talk about your passions. I love you from your beautiful, unique personality to your view on calluses and the ones on your very fingers. 'They show some kind of experience,'" He quoted what I'd said softly and smiled, looking up at me from under his lashes. I stared at him numbly, he let go of my hands which fell numbly to my sides. "Bella, please say something." He touched my cheek and I stepped back, away from him, and then I was staggering back two more steps. "Bella?" He looked crushed, but I couldn't bring myself to say anything. I stumbled out of his room and I could hear him follow me.

And then I was running. I ran to the front door, fumbling with the lock, hearing Rose ask Edward what was wrong, Alice and Edward call my name, and then I bolted out the door, slamming it closed behind me. I couldn't think straight; too many thoughts were running through my head as I ran down the stairs and out to Alice's car, not pausing to celebrate not tripping on anything. I thanked Alice for giving me her keys earlier and I unlocked the car, jumping in. I'd never been so glad to not have my truck before.

I shoved the keys into the ignition and peeled out of the parking lot. When I looked into the rearview mirror I caught Alice and Edward standing on the sidewalk staring after me. Alice looked like she was already sobbing and… I couldn't even explain Edward. I didn't want to either.

I gripped the steering wheel until my knuckles turned white and flew down the street, veering in and out of traffic, which I was fairly sure was illegal. "Calm down, Bella, chill." I took in a bunch of deep breaths and forced myself to slow the car a little and stop weaving through people. I didn't want to cause an accident.

I looked at the clock; they would've gotten into cars by now and gone to my place to check things out. Edward would probably check our meadow or something too. I sighed loudly and banged my fist on the steering wheel. I looked in the glove box, bingo. I could pay Alice back. I got out some money for gas and stopped at a gas station. I didn't want to stop. I grabbed some snacks, a water bottle, and filled the gas tank. With that, I jumped back in the car and flew down the road, watching it fly beneath my tires as I fled the city. I would stop somewhere in between cities and sleep in the car.

My phone rang and I immediately picked it up, and then regretted it. I pulled it away from my ear to hang up when Alice screamed in my ear "Wait, give me ten minutes then you can hang up!!" I stared out the windshield for a moment.

"You have five minutes."I growled into the phone, I continued driving, but slowed down so I could at least try to pay attention. I wanted to smack my head against the window right now, I was so confused and I felt like I was going to puke my guts out.

"Bella, are you leaving?" Alice whispered into the phone and I pulled the car out of traffic and slammed to a stop on the side of the road. I hit my fist on the steering wheel and my eyes burned with tears, angry and scared.

"I don't know," I whimpered, rubbing the bridge of my nose.

I heard Alice sob quietly. "You can have my car; I'll get a new one. At least come pick up your stuff, Bella. I know you can't live without your guitar and laptop. Bella, why are you leaving?"

I ground my teeth, trying to hold in the tears, feeling like I was going to blow up like earlier, except for entirely different reasons. "Edward told me he loves me." I choked out and I heard Alice gasp.

"Really? Bella, that's great, why are you leaving then? He's not lying Bella, I can tell, I think you love him too. Remember, as you've quoted before, 'the course of true love never did run smooth.'" I banged my fist on the steering wheel again and closed my eyes, letting my head fall back on the head rest.

"I never want to hear that saying again."

"Bella, will you come pick up your stuff?" She asked quietly and I thought I heard voices on the other end.

"Maybe tomorrow, as long as no one else is there."

"Okay, I promise, Bella." I heard her sob again and I felt a tear run down my cheek at my best friend's sadness.

"I'm sorry, Alice. I love you." My eyes clamped shut, I didn't want to hear that for a while. I felt like someone had driven a shard of ice through my heart. There was a new meaning to 'alone' now.

"I love you too, Bella. Be careful, and…I'll miss you." I closed my phone and threw it in the backseat as a sob racked my body.

What was I going to do?

**A/N: Sorry, guys, I know some of you will be upset with this. :/ Truth be told, this isn't exactly how it was planned originally, but then it came out like this. Bella had to leave, it was kind of like Edward had to leave in New Moon. It was out of my hands. I expect a lot of reviews for this one!! Because this is kind of an important part, I'll be writing as much as possible and I **_**may**_** get the next chapter up pretty quickly, as long as you give me some feedback! Check out my little website, there are sneak peeks into the next chapters. Guess what?! The reason I posted this so fast is because today is June 16****th**** and I've been officially writing for a year! I posted the first chapter of Trust on this day last year :] Pretty exciting huh? I think it is :] Hope you enjoyed it, review, check out the site, vote in my poll, and have a good day, dang it!**

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	19. Will You Stay?

**Those of you who said Bella over-reacted (I'm sad you guys thought like that :/) Will hopefuuly understand a little better after this chapter. If anyone is still confused at the end, PM me.**

_What was I going to do?_

**BPOV**

I pulled away from the curb, back into the flow of traffic. I continued driving, putting all my concentration into it, I would stop on a lonelier road and sleep in the car. It was too noisy here and probably not the safest place to stop. I flipped on the radio, music always calmed me down, only to hear "Fearless" by Taylor Swift. I whacked the dial to turn off the radio and gripped the steering wheel with both hands. Memories flooded my brain and out of frustration, I honked at the person in front of me, who honked back.

I was going to throw up I was freaking out so badly; when I let go of the steering wheel with one hand, it started shaking. I didn't know how to calm myself down, usually music did that, but now it just reminded me of Edward. Maybe if I changed it to someone I never listened to… I flipped the radio back on and searched through the songs until I heard the beginning of one I'd never heard before. As I listened I realized it was a band of two sisters I'd heard a couple times, but had never really liked. I listened to the lyrics intently to distract myself.

_Were you right, was I wrong?  
Were you weak, was I strong? Yeah,  
Both of us broken,  
Caught in the moment.  
We lived and we loved,  
And we hurt and we joked, yeah.  
But the planets all aligned,  
When you looked into my eyes.  
And just like that,  
The chemicals react,  
The chemicals react._

"Come on." I groaned and turned off the radio. I decided against listening to music and sat in silence as I continued to drive. The city lights started to fade behind me and fewer and fewer cars surrounded me. I pulled over on the side of the road and got out. I stretched my legs and walked to the back of the car, where I popped the trunk. I was happy to find an old blanket in there. I grabbed it and brought it with me into the car. I got in the backseat and reached around the seats to pull the key out of the ignition. I locked the car and stuffed the key in my pocket, wrapping the blanket around myself and staring up at the ceiling numbly.

I wasn't going to be able to ignore this, I had to think about it now, man, I was getting no sleep tonight. I folded my arms and rested them over my eyes, kicking my shoes off.

How could Edward say he loved me? Just thinking the words drove the shard of ice deeper into my heart. And Alice thought I loved him, maybe I did, it didn't seem so far-fetched when I thought about it now. I'd never 'crushed' on someone like I had on Edward. I couldn't seem to find any flaws in him, except for the ones inflicted upon him by his father, but I wasn't the kind of person to be put off for things like that. And the feelings I got when we kissed were so…intense. That wasn't something that could be faked, and there was no way I had just a simple school girl crush on him anymore. It seemed Alice was right. Again. Surprise, surprise.

But even if we were in love, Alice had a point with that quote from Shakespeare.

'_The course of true love never did run smooth.'_

I wondered if Shakespeare had any idea that people from this time period would still be quoting him. But it was so incredibly, painstakingly true. This couldn't work with Edward because even if it was great while it lasted, I knew it would only end in tragedy. One or both of us would end up alone and bleeding and I couldn't let that happen.

He promised he wouldn't leave me, but it didn't have to be by choice. He could die, or be taken from me in some other way. Never leaving wasn't something he could ever promise to me. I'd been alone long enough and I was tired of it, I didn't need him to leave me too. And if I loved him and he left, it would be so much worse.

If anything was worse than his leaving me, it was the fear that _I_would leave _him_. I think that just proved that I did love him, seeing how my priorities had changed so much. I jumped when my cell phone buzzed in my pocket, signaling a text message. I opened my phone to check it was and was surprised to see it was Angela Weber. I had forgotten I'd given her my number once, and I clicked select to open the text.

**Forget the risk and take the fall, **

**If it's what you want, then it's worth it all…**

I read the text three times before looking back up at the ceiling of the car. "Really?" I asked no body. I read the text message again. The _one_ time she messages me and it's now, with _this_ message. Fate must've had to have intervened here, it wouldn't be fun for anyone if it hadn't…

But it wasn't worth it all, not if the risk was Edward getting hurt. I desperately didn't want to be the one who left their loved one alone and bleeding. It would be wrong, I would never do it on purpose, but like I'd thought before, it wasn't entirely up to us.

I growled quietly, I just wanted to rip my hair out right now. I sat up and put my head between my legs, trying to make some of my nauseousness and confusion subside. I reached into my shirt and pulled out the tags I hardly ever took off (except to shower) and held them in my hand. "What do I do, Dad?" I muttered, before sighing and lying back down, leaving them out of my shirt.

This was gonna kill me, I knew that now. No matter what I chose, it wouldn't end well for me. If I went back to him, one of us would end up leaving the other, and if I didn't it would probably break my heart. I used to hate it in junior high and high school when people would say that their heart was broken and that they were just being dramatic, but now was very different. We were older, more mature; worries were more real than just next week's finals. I knew not going back to him would hurt me as much, maybe worse, than going back to him and Edward leaving. But if I didn't go back, would it break him as well? How did you make a decision that could change a life for someone else? What if you made the wrong decision?

I didn't have to ponder over why some people commit suicide anymore… How could _anyone_ make these decisions? I wanted to call Alice, but at the same time I didn't want to hear her worries and everything. I wanted quiet, but I also wanted the comfort of someone being here. Man, I really needed to make up my mind. It pissed me off that I knew it was Edward that I wanted there and I couldn't have him because I couldn't make up my freaking mind. I wanted to punch something so I folded my arms.

I needed sleep, I was so beyond tired; it was almost 3 o'clock in the morning and I still had so many undecided thought s churning through my mind. I rolled over and got comfortable, well, as comfortable as possible in a car. I stared at the back of the driver's seat and cleared my mind…which worked for less than a minute.

Okay, so, new plan. I decided to count until I got tired and finally fell asleep. One, two, three, four...and I kept counting. I was almost to five hundred when I finally found the unconscious world, where waking just wasn't worth it. (Anyone recognize that? If you do, tell me :])

When I woke up, I could see the light gray of the sky coming in through the tinted windows. I looked at the clock on the front console and growled under my breath. It wasn't even six. Whatever, I was going home, if only to pick up my stuff and say goodbye to Alice. Another hole in my plan, where exactly did I plan on going? Somewhere nearby, I would continue to go to school, but I would avoid everyone else.

Or maybe I could go back to hanging out with just Alice and Jasper. That was ideal. Living in my own place would be a nightmare, what with my fear of being alone. I got out of the car and stretched, walking around the vehicle twice. I got into the driver's seat and put the key in the ignition. I turned the heat on full blast, winter would definitely be here soon, and held my hands up to the vents like you would a fire.

Making sure no one was coming, I did a U-turn and started driving back towards town and home. It was a long drive so I would have plenty of time to figure out my plan of action. For one, I knew I would stay somewhere close by, because I would continue going to school. Second, I hoped Alice would let me stay and I could go back to only associating with her and Jasper.

Alice would probably be sad at first and try to get me to talk to Edward, but that wasn't going to happen. Then she would move on and things would go back to the way they'd been before Edward. At least I hoped so.

It annoyed me driving in silence, I usually blared music or had to tune out Alice's chattering; now I didn't do either. I sent Alice a quick text saying I was coming and I'd be there in less than half an hour. I shook my head to clear it and tried to think lucidly.

First the facts…Edward loved me, and I was fairly sure I loved him. It wasn't entirely in our hands, whether one of us left or not. Edward had promised never to leave me and I knew he was sincere. He wouldn't be the reason we'd be pulled apart. I also knew that _I_ may be the reason we wouldn't be together.

Now the reasons we couldn't be together… One of us would be left alone and bleeding at some point, that much was obvious. If I left Edward, I would probably have to kill myself and if he left me, which I was hoping he wouldn't, I would be left alone, just like every other time in my life. I didn't want to go back to that, not after what I'd had here, it would be torture.

Finally, the reasons we should be together. Edward loved me. I loved him, too, I believed, and every time I thought it, it seemed truer. Maybe the time we had together would be worth any pain that came at the end, nothing could last forever.

I stopped at a red light and ran my fingers through my hair. "Why does this have to be so hard?" I moaned quietly, this would be so much easier if I didn't love him or if it had seemed like he was lying when he said he loved me.

I finally reached my apartment complex and kept a look out for any cars that I recognized besides my truck. I didn't see any so I got out of the car and softly closed the door, locking it. I walked up towards the stairs with my head down to keep from drawing attention to me and my appearance. I felt someone's gaze on me and I looked up, glancing around. Emmett suddenly appeared out of the shadows and I flinched back, taking a step away.

"I thought I told you to end it with Edward if you weren't going to be with him." Emmett said, looking murderously angry. "Was he just a play-thing to you?! Did you plan on leading him on for that long, and as soon as things seemed real, you'd dump him like that?"He snapped his fingers for emphasis.

"No, Emmett, you don't understand…" I pleaded with him, but he cut me off.

"I understand perfectly. I told you to leave if you were planning to not let it happen, but you went with it anyway. You said you wouldn't hurt him! Did you see him before you drove away? He's _broken_, Bella, this is _nothing_ compared to before! You've broken him beyond repair. I didn't even know that the word 'broken' could be a descriptive word for a person but there's nothing else to explain his face, his eyes, his everything! He's been staring at the wall since you left, but you wanna know what he did before nothing?"He paused and I shook my head, cowering back slightly, what had I done to Edward? If this was true I'd caused everything I'd been hoping to avoid and more. "He ruined his piano! Do you know what that means? You've taken from him _the most important thing_. He doesn't want to play piano anymore, Bella, all because of you." He pointed a finger at me and I finally started sobbing. I collapsed onto the stairs and put my face in my hands.

I was worse than I'd thought. I'd turned him away and now look at what had happened. Edward couldn't listen to music anymore, he couldn't play music. That was his only passion. I'd taken it from him because of my dumb fears. "Emmett…I'm s-sorry." I felt so stupid saying those words; _nothing_ could make up for what had happened. I was surprised Emmett hadn't brought a gun. If someone had hurt Alice like this, they wouldn't be in the same state as I was in now. I remembered the crushed look in Edward's eyes as I backed away and I felt similar to that now. It felt like someone had punched a hole in my chest, straight through my heart.

"I just wanted you to know what you did to him. Good luck finding a way to live with yourself, Bella, you killed my brother, do you hear me? How he is now, he's as good as _dead_!" And then Emmett did the unimaginable. His face crumpled and he started crying like me. He rested a hand on the wall and placed his other hand over his face. "I couldn't protect him, I should've done better." His voice was muffled and I was even more horrified then before. I wiped my tears away and stood up shakily.

"No, Emmett, this is my entire fault, not yours. Go back home to him, help him, he needs his brother." Emmett took in a big breath of air and pulled his hand way from his face.

"No, he doesn't need me, he needs _you_. I know him, Bella, and even though I don't really trust you with him, it'll make him better. If you go back, and stay there, I'll let you go, and he'll forgive you immediately. He loves you so much Bella, I think it was actually killing him, not telling you earlier. So he tried to wait as long as possible to tell you, so you wouldn't be afraid. Maybe he should've told you earlier, before either of you got in too deep." He wasn't looking at me now, as he gazed out in the direction of his house. "Will you come back?" Emmett looked back at me with eyes as intense as Edward's; I didn't know he was capable of that. "Will you stay?" He fixed his own question and I looked at him with pleading eyes, trying to make him understand my fear.

"Bella," He placed his big hands on my shoulders. "Love isn't easy, there are fights and times you don't get along, but you gotta remember the good times too. Remember all the times Edward made you smile or laugh or blush. Isn't any pain you have to deal with, worth the happiness you get in the meanwhile?"

There was that point again. It seemed as strong as my point of 'no matter what, one of us will end up alone, even if not by choice.' "I don't know Emmett." My voice sounded choked as I tried to regain my bearings and pull it together before I completely broke down. I didn't need that right now, it wouldn't be good. "I don't want to be left alone again. I've had enough loneliness to last a lifetime." I prayed that he would understand. "Or what if I left Edward? What if I left him bleeding and alone, just like I was left?" I wiped hard at my face to get the tears off.

"You mean like you left him last night? Alone and broken?" I stared at him for a long time, tears in both of our eyes. I took a quick series of deep breaths to get myself under control and Emmett wiped at his eyes.

"So what do you want me to do, Emmett? Go back to your apartment, tell Edward I love him, he says he loves me back, and everything works out, happily ever after?! I'm smarter than that Emmett; I know that there probably won't be a happy ending!"

"So you do love him?"

I thought for a moment, I knew it would be important how I answered this question. If I lied, we would both be able to tell, but if I told the truth, leaving everyone would be so much more difficult. "…Yes. Yeah, I love him Emmett."

He watched me for a long time, like he was waiting for me to say I was joking, "Say it. Say you love Edward. You'll know if you're telling the truth, and I think it'll clear some things up for you."

"I love Edward." I could hear the truth in my own words and he was right, it did clear things up a little. For one, I knew I couldn't just leave. That wouldn't work, it would be worse on all of us. I wanted to curse Emmett for being right, it was a common feeling I had around Alice. "So, what do you want me to do?" I asked him again and he sighed heavily.

"I want you to tell him. Like I said, I know Edward, and you'll be forgiven if he knows you're telling the truth. Our mom left us plenty of money, he can get a new piano and things will go back to normal, better than normal. I want my brother to be happy Bella, no matter what it takes." We seemed to share a common goal there, and he was trying to help me meet it, then why was it so hard?

"But I can't just go back to him, Emmett. I can't, I just can't do that. I owe him so much, it would be beyond wrong for me to just go back and expect him to forgive me."

"If you owe him, then pay back that debt. Be with him Bella, and it'll pay back all that debt because he'll be happier than he ever has been before. Years from now, you can know that you paid him back because he's happy, truly happy. Do you understand?"

I looked away, at the ground, thinking hard. I understood what he was saying, but did I believe it was true. Would Edward really want to still be with me years from now? I think I wanted to be with him, then he wouldn't leave me, he would be the one I'd go to for comfort in situations like these…

"Talk to him," Emmett implored softly, "Go to our apartment as soon as you can and talk to him. Fix this. Because I don't know what'll happen to him if you wait too long."

"Bella? Emmett?" We both turned and saw Alice staring at us with confused eyes.

**A/N: So, here's the chapter, hope you liked and hope it cleared up some confusion. I started writing the next story I'm going to post after this one. "She Was A Skater Girl" there's a summary on my site. I'll also post another story that's on the site as well. No one plagiarize ideas, please... Review, review, review and have a good day! I'll update as soon as possible, life's still on the busy side. :/ **


	20. Will You Let Me Stay?

**Random disclaimer: Don't own the characters or the songs used.**

"_Bella? Emmett?" We both turned and saw Alice staring at us with confused eyes._

**BPOV**

"Emmett, what are you doing here?!" Alice looked scared as she looked between the two of us. "Bella, I told everyone to avoid the house, I swear. Emmett go away, let Bella get her stuff. I promised her this." Emmett ignored her completely, still watching me.

"It's okay, Alice," I said quietly, only glancing at her before meeting Emmett's eyes again. "What if you're wrong? What if he doesn't forgive me and this makes things worse?"

Emmett gulped, "It won't." He looked worried though.

"What's going on?" Alice looked frustrated and usually that would make me laugh, she hated being out of the loop.

"Nothing you need to worry about Alice, you'll know soon." I chewed on my lip and stared at the ground.

I wanted to see Edward; I wanted to erase this stupid mistake. I desperately wanted to think Emmett was right when he said that whatever joy I got before things went wrong would be worth it. "Go, Bella, please, I promise it'll be better for both of you."

"You promise?" I whispered, it was a stupid thing to ask. Promises were broken all the time. My dad had broken his promise. _If you take good care of my tags, I'll be back before you know it. _

"I promise." Then why did Emmett's promise make me so hopeful? My jaw clenched, it felt wrong to just go back to him and everything would be fine.

"How can I make this up to him Emmett? What's something I could do now, not years from now, to make me feel better about being so easily forgiven?"

Emmett thought about this before speaking "Tell him the truth. You said you loved him, tell him. Make sure he knows you're telling the truth too."

I took in a shaky breath and glanced from him to Alice, who was still watching us, and back to him. "Okay." I whispered. He grinned hugely, looking extremely happy and pleased with himself.

"Good, I'll call Rose and tell her to leave in a couple minutes. Go over there," He nodded his head in the direction of his apartment, "Tell Edward you love him. I'll stay here and explain to Alice what's going on before she gets any madder." He smiled and gently pushed me in the direction of my car, I rushed over to it, feeling a tiny light of hope lighten my outlook on this.

Maybe I could make it right. Maybe we could be with each other for a time, and that time would be the best of my life. Then, if and when we were torn apart, I could just remember all the good times.

I peeled out of the parking lot and drove down the street as fast as I had when I left.

I was glad I made it to their apartments without getting pulled over for speeding and as I pulled in, Rose's M3 passed right by me. I parked and quickly got out of the car and _carefully _ran to the stairs. I clamped onto the rail and went up the stairs as fast as I possibly could without falling down the steps and killing myself. That would kind of ruin my plan.

When I arrived at the door of his apartment I froze, my hope and excitement fading. What if this didn't work? I could always commit suicide, but that seemed cowardly, though I didn't know how I'd live if he didn't forgive me. No wonder he felt dead, I'd rejected him, run away, and squashed all _his_ hope.

I flinched away from that thought and opened the door of his apartment, silently closing it behind me. I leaned against the door and stared at the ceiling for a moment. Please, please, please let this go well. I had a feeling he wouldn't forgive me as quickly as you could snap your fingers, but I had a feeling he'd forgive me if I tried to make this work. I was tired of being afraid.

I straightened and squared my shoulders before walking to Edward's room, making as little noise as possible. I opened the door and was thankful it didn't squeak.

And there he was. Edward Anthony Masen. I was shaking as I stepped into his room; I was terrified and excited at the same time. He was leaning against the window sill, looking out his bedroom window. He hadn't noticed I was here yet, he seemed too far gone in his thoughts. I looked to the other side of the room and felt my eyes widen as I took in the sight of his piano. It looked like someone had taken a sledge hammer to it, that wasn't that unlikely actually. Glancing at Edward, I walked over to it and touched one of the few unbroken keys, feeling the tears well up in my eyes. I desperately hoped he would play piano again after this.

"Bella?" I jumped and whirled around to face Edward. Emmett description didn't do him justice, he was broken, but that didn't describe it completely.

"Edward I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I know you love me, I know you meant it, I was just afraid. But I've thought about it and I've sorted some things out. I love you, Edward. I don't expect our relationship to be perfect. I love you. We can have lives outside of each other, but I still want to be with you, I want you to be the _most important_ part. I love you. I don't want you to change for me because you're perfect the way you are. I love you. I want you to be my home. I love you. And it's not even to make you love me. I love you, and it's not out of pity or apology. I love you, and that's the most important fact." I was crying by the time I finished and Edward had tears in his eyes. We were both planted on opposite sides of the room and I wanted him to hold me close. At the same time, I was waiting for him now. He would come to me. "I was just too blind and dumb to notice the fact as early as you did."

Edward slowly shook his head, but didn't say anything for a moment. "Not blind or dumb, just scared and human." My jaw clenched at that, he was being nice. I wanted him to yell at me first before he forgave me. It would make me feel bad if he didn't, but I knew even if I asked him to, he wouldn't.

"I love you, Edward, and I don't want you to just forgive me for leaving like that. Look at your piano," I pointed at it, but his eyes didn't move from my face "that's my fault." I wiped my tears away and took a deep breath. "I talked to Emmett, and he told me to make it up to you by telling the truth, so I am. I love you." It felt so amazing being able to say that over and over again. "I left because I was afraid that no matter what happened, one or both of us would end up alone. I didn't want to go through that again, but last night, I noticed a change in my priorities. Edward, I realized I was more worried about my leaving _you_ alone and hurt. But I'd already done just that. " I was getting more and more hysterical and tears fell onto my cheek as my voice raised higher with stress. "Edward… I-I just…" He shook his head again and walked over to me, taking my hands in his.

"I know. You're sorry. I'm sorry too; I should've waited longer…"

"Edward, if you want me to keep from breaking down completely, please stop blaming yourself." I whimpered quietly, looking away from his intense green eyes. They looked so agonized, not broken anymore, but he looked like someone was torturing him.

"Fine. It wasn't my fault, but it wasn't entirely yours either. It wasn't your fault that your parents died, your aunt and uncle disappeared, or that your best friend (Jessica, not Alice) left you when you needed her most. You left for those reasons, right? Because they left you alone and you didn't want that to happen again." I nodded slightly and he squeezed both my hands. "But that isn't going to happen now. I promised you I wouldn't leave and I meant it. If you want to be with me, my mind hasn't changed, I'll stay and we can just be happy. With you I can forget the world and just be, just like I can with music, except better." My heart soared at that, to hear I was better to him than music was the biggest compliment you could give in my mind.

"You make me feel better than music does too. I just feel…right, when I'm with you Edward. And I don't think you'll break your promise, I don't think you're capable of it…" I sighed softly and looked up into his eyes. "Will you let me stay?"

Edward half-smiled, "I wouldn't have it any other way." He kissed my forehead gently before leading me to his bedroom window, where we stood looking in on the world from the outside.

It almost annoyed me how he had taken me back so easily, but like Emmett had pointed out, I would make it up to him over the next few years, because this time, I wasn't letting go. It felt weird pouring my heart out to someone, I'd never done that to someone so thoroughly, and it seemed…clumsy using words, like actions would explain how I felt better. I looked at Edward and he was already watching me. I smiled and looked back out the window. "Bella?" Edward whispered and I looked back at him. "I love you." He smiled crookedly and his eyes were happier than they had been before this whole thing.

I smiled at him "I love you too, Edward." I murmured. He shook his head slowly, smiling, and turned back to the window. "What?"

"I just can't believe you love me and I love you and you're with me now. I've never been this happy." He leaned down and kissed me softly. He started to pull away but I touched his cheek and pulled him back down to kiss him again gently. I tried to put all my love into that one simple kiss; I tried to ask forgiveness even though it had already been given. He rested his forehead on mine like he had last night, before he said he loved me. "I lied," He whispered and I raised a questioning eyebrow at him. "_that _was the happiest moment of my life."I laughed breathlessly and he pulled me close, crushing me to his chest and resting his chin on my head. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed myself against him, burying my face in his chest and breathing in his smell.

"I missed that." I whispered to myself, but he heard me.

"What?"

"Your arms, and your smell, and you…"He made a soft humming noise.

"I missed you too."

"Edward, please tell me you'll get a new piano and keep playing music." He pulled away and looked sadly at the destroyed piano. He released me and I followed him over to the piano as he trailed his fingers over it.

"Yes, I'll get a new piano, but I'll miss this one. I wrote your lullaby and played it for the first time on this piano…" He frowned and his hand dropped to his side. I smiled at the mention of it, "Oh, Emmett called in and said I wouldn't be able to come in for my playing shift at Macy's this morning, but do you want to come with me to play tonight?"

I smiled, "Yeah, I'd like that."

He smiled crookedly and pulled me back into my arms, I squeezed him tightly. "I love you…" I said quietly, "I love you, I love you, I love you." I said in a sing-song voice and he chuckled gently.

"All is right with the world." He murmured and dipped down to kiss me once.

"We should call the others."

"Why don't we just…_be _for a while? I missed you last night and it feels like I'm dreaming this now. Stay with me, help me know it's real." He whispered and his eyes were intense. He towed me over to the bed were he lay down and pulled me close. Tipping my head up, he kissed me gently, again and again.

After a while, I rested my head on his chest over his heart and listened to it beat. He played with my hair and my eyes drooped shut. I was so tired from hardly getting any sleep in the car last night. I snuggled closer, burrowing into his side. It wasn't long until I fell into a light sleep, the warmth of Edward beside me.

**(A/N: Before you ask, which I **_**know**_** someone will, they didn't do anything beyond kissing.)**

I woke to the sound of a door banging closed. I lifted my head from off Edward's chest and smiled when I saw that he had fallen asleep as well. I raised myself slowly and brushed some hair off his forehead. "I love you, Edward," I whispered. I stood as quietly as I could, managing to not wake him up. I winced when I passed by the piano and walked out his bedroom door. Emmett and Rose were sitting in the living room. "Hey, Bella." They both said and Emmett smiled at me. "Thank you." He said quietly and I just nodded.

"Did someone just leave? I heard the door close."

"I think it was the neighbors next door. Do you know if Edward is going to play tonight, or does he need me to give them another excuse?"

I nodded, looking around the room before sitting down on the couch. "Edward's playing tonight; he wants me to go too." I answered, laying back on the loveseat. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and stifled a yawn.

"Didn't sleep well last night?" Rose asked and I was glad she wasn't mad at me for my stupid mistake. I shrugged in response and let my head fall back on the couch as my eyes closed again. I sat like that for a minute, resting my eyes but also waking up more at the same time. I opened my eyes and looked around again. I smiled when I saw Edward leaning against the wall and watching me.

I stood and walked over to him, hoping that he still forgave me, if he came to his senses it would kill me. He leaned down and kissed me softly, I felt my cheeks flush as I pulled away and looked at my feet, before looking up at him under my lashes. "How was your nap?" He asked teasingly.

"Hey, you fell asleep too."I pouted and he smiled.

"Yes, but I waited until you were asleep yourself, love." We sat down on the couch and I leaned against him. "I love you." He whispered in my ear and I sighed contentedly.

"I love you too." I smiled and he grinned crookedly as I brushed some hair off his face.

"Aww…" I looked over at Emmett and Rose and Rosalie was watching us with a huge smile. "Sorry, it's just you guys are so sweet." She looked over at Emmett and kissed his cheek. "You know, I love you as much as Bella loves Edward." She said teasingly and Emmett laughed.

"Well, I love you _more_ than Edward loves Bella." Emmett sent Edward a challenging look before proceeding to make out with Rose.

Edward laughed and his lips touched my ear as he whispered "We both know I love you more than Em loves Rose." He kissed the hollow behind my ear and I shivered, blushing at my reaction. "So, you want to come with me to Macy's tonight? We can have dinner afterwards and maybe go for a walk…" He kissed down my neck and I held in a whimper.

"Yeah, I think that'd be great. Nowhere nice for dinner though, because I don't feel like having Alice give me a makeover tonight." I stuck my tongue out at him and he shrugged.

"We could eat at Macy's."

"That'll work for me."

"Mm…" Edward went back to kissing me and I pulled his lips up to meet mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck and he lay back on the couch, pulling me on top of him.

"This is a kind of a compromising position." I murmured against his lips which turned up in a smile, moving across my jaw.

"I don't care if you don't."

"Not really." I kissed him gently until we heard the door open and we peeked up over the back of the couch. Alice and Jasper stood in the doorway.

"Bella!" Alice charged over to me and I stood hugging her tightly. "I'm so glad you came back, I couldn't stop crying last night."

"I'm so, so sorry Alice. I was stupid, Edward loves me and I love him. I should've known he wouldn't leave and I shouldn't have made you think I was leaving. I would've been miserable without you, sister; you should've known I would've come back to at least you." I smiled sadly and hugged her again. She stepped back and wiped her eyes.

"Yeah, well," She punched my shoulder lightly, "_never_ do that again."

I smiled, "I won't." Edward pulled me down into his lap and I snuggled closer to him. "What time do we need to leave?" I asked as Alice and Jasper sat down on the couch next to us.

"Where are you going?" Jasper spoke up and when I looked at him he smiled in greetings, I assumed.

"Macy's."

"We should all go!" Alice said, bouncing in Jasper's lap. He touched her shoulder and she immediately stopped, looking over her shoulder at him with loving eyes. I smiled when I saw how happy they were together.

"That'd be awesome; I wanna see them sing together!" Emmett boomed, seeming as excited as Alice.

"That'd be fine." Rose said and Jasper shrugged.

"I didn't know I was singing tonight…" I said slowly and Edward smiled.

"You can sit next to me; you don't need to bring your guitar tonight." I frowned it made me feel more comfortable, having something to do with my hands. Maybe I'd just keep my eyes on Edward, which would make things easier.

"Okay, so what time do we need to go?" I asked again and he looked at his watch. "Umm, in about an hour. What do you guys want to do until then?"

"Rock Band!!" Emmett and Alice yelled at the same time, their voices made me want to cover my ears.

"Dang, guys, tone it down a couple decibels would you?" I muttered as they charged towards the corner of the room where the little plastic instruments were. After a few minutes of arguing it was decided, Alice would be on drums, Jasper on bass, Emmett on guitar, and Rose singing.

Rose's voice was okay, average. I was just glad she'd gotten the microphone before Emmett.

Over the next hour there were arguments, laughs, yelling, and just being friends. I took a turn on guitar and blew them away by how well I did. "Do you guys have no faith in me?" I asked, continuing to play the little plastic guitar that felt wrong in my hands. Turns out, with it only having five buttons, it's _way_ easier than playing a real guitar.

"We know you play guitar, but _dang_, Bella!" Emmett yelled, banging hard enough to maybe break the drum sticks. Edward was still laughing at how shocked they'd all been when I'd been the 'Top Performer' three times in a row. The sound made me happy, but it distracted me so I missed a few more beats then I usually would've. Still, I scored better than everyone else and I finally gave up the guitar. I sat next to Edward and he calmed down, resting his arm across my shoulder and nuzzling my cheek.

"You did good, showed them."He said and I laughed.

"Yeah, I beat them all into the dust."

"Hey," Jasper turned around, still playing the bass part which at the moment was a repeated note. "You beat me on that one song by only three percent; I had you right where I wanted you."Emmett laughed loudly at this, causing him to totally screw up.

"Dude, there was no way you were going to beat her!" He said, trying to concentrate and get back on track before the band was booed off stage.

"Hey, guys, time to go, let's get out of here." Edward stood and started walking towards the door. He held the door open as everyone grabbed their coats and left the apartment. He took my hand as we walked down the hall and kissed the back of my hand.

We ended up all piling into Emmett's jeep, making enough room by having Alice sit on top of Jasper. As we drove, I looked out the window and I groaned when we passed the building I took my Creative Writing class. "What's wrong?" Edward asked, looking out the back window to see what I'd seen.

"I'm going to be behind in my classes because I missed today." I scowled and rolled my eyes.

"Come on, love, be happy, you can worry another time." He smiled crookedly and all felt right again.

"Okay." I said easily and he laughed lightly.

"We're here!" Emmett boomed and everyone piled out.

We walked in and everyone got drinks except for Edward and I and they took seats around a table near the stage. I followed Edward onto the stage after he talked to the manager.

"You ready, love?"

"Yeah, I'm ready." He rested his fingers on the keys and I glanced at the crowd before speaking quietly, "Love you, Edward." It never got old saying that…

He smiled crookedly before pressing his fingers down and starting the song I recognized as my lullaby.

"I love you too, Bella."

**A/N: I'm fairly sure you guys liked those turn of events :] Ok, I'm not sure, but there may be only one chapter after this, then the epilogue (which I can't wait to write), and then maybe an extra of the chapter Edward told Bella he loves her in his POV. How's that sound? Hope you guys liked the chapter. Check out my website for my fanfics (link on top of profile) and tell me what you think of the story ideas I have posted there! The more you review, the faster the next chapter goes up so review, review, review!! ;]**


	21. On the Corner of First and Amistad

_He smiled crookedly before pressing his fingers down and starting the song I recognized as my lullaby. _

"_I love you too, Bella."_

**EPOV**

**AROUND THREE MONTHS LATER… **

"There's one week until Christmas!" Bella said excitedly, twirling in front of me as we walked to our favorite coffee shop.

"Slow down, love, you're going to…"

"Aah!" She yelped and fell backwards into the snowdrift. I couldn't help laughing when she popped up into a sitting position almost covered in snow.

"Trip," I finished my previous statement. I pulled her out of the snow and brushed her off. "Need a kiss to make it better?" I teased her, but she stood up on her tip toes and kissed me softly with warm, smooth lips.

"All better." She grinned and took my hand as we continued walking. "It's nice out," she murmured, staring up at the snow-threatening sky. "Let's sit down for a few minutes." She pulled me down onto a bench and leaned against my shoulder. We sat in silence and watched the snow begin to stumble suicidally from the cold, unforgiving sky and blanket our shoulders.

"Okay, I could use a warm cup of coffee." I finally said after a few minutes and her faraway stare turned to my face.

"Can't stand the cold, get out of Washington." She smiled and we walked into Macy's together. The employees saw us and immediately started making our coffee. "Thanks, Angela." Bella smiled at her and took her coffee, sipping at it as I paid for our drinks. She was getting more used to my spending money on her often. We sat down across from each other in a booth and I smiled at her deviously. "Please don't ask me again." She whined, pouting at me.

"What do you want for Christmas?"

"I'm okay with you paying for my coffee, Edward, but you don't need to get me anything for Christmas. Just be with me all that day and it'll be the best Christmas ever." She smiled and blushed lightly, I felt my heart beat pick up its pace a bit.

"I can do that whole being with you all day thing," I grinned crookedly at her, "but I want to get you something for Christmas. Please?"

She sighed and looked out the window for a moment. "Edward." She said in what I thought was supposed to be a warning tone.

I leaned forward, across the table, "Bella." I tried to use the same tone as her and she looked at me. "What do you want?"

She glared at me with narrowed eyes, but I didn't back down, I actually had a hard time not laughing. "Fine," she growled, "I don't want anything specific, something from the heart, okay? I want something that doesn't cost much that you had to think about." She sat back with crossed arms, looking pleased with her request. My eyes narrowed in thought as I started thinking on what could fit that description. I already had one idea, but I would come up with more.

Bella's phone rang and she picked it up, "Hey, Alice… Are you sure that's okay?" She paused for a moment, staring at the table top. "I don't think we can really trust Emmett on that… I can't persuade him to do _everything._" Her brown eyes flashed up to me for a second and then back down to the table top.

"Yes, you can," I said quietly. We both knew she could. She smiled but didn't look up at me.

"Okay, Alice, we'll be there soon, bye." She hung up and looked at me for a moment. "We're going to your house." She finally said.

"What do you need to persuade me of?" We stood and she linked her arm with mine as we walked out into the light snow.

"She asked Emmett and he said it would be okay, but it's Emmett… She wants to set up a Christmas tree in your apartment and everyone will meet there for Christmas." She looked up at me expectantly. We turned and walked in the direction of her apartment, which was closer, we'd drive in my car that I'd left there.

"Why do I need to be persuaded? That sounds like fun; I'm not always the party-pooper." She laughed and shook her head.

"Not always." She raised her eyebrows a couple times before pulling me slightly faster into the parking lot. We got in my Volvo and I pulled out of my space and the parking lot.

Bella stared out the window thoughtfully and I couldn't stop glancing at her as I drove. When we got to my complex, I jumped out of the car and helped her out. We traveled through the thin layer of snow to the stairs and then I pulled Bella onto my back like I always did, carrying her up the stairs. Instead of letting her down at the top, I walked to my apartment door, let her open it, and walked in with her still on my back. I set her on the couch and sat down next to her. "Hey, guys." I said and they looked up from what they were doing to wave. Rose and Alice were gathered around a few boxes, looking through ornaments, and Jasper and Emmett were trying to get lights on the tree unsuccessfully. "I better help them." I squeezed Bella's hand and stood to help the guys get the lights on the tree. Together, Jasper and I finally got it. Emmett went to our stereo, not as big as my personal one, in the living room and turned on some Christmas music. We all sang 'Felis Navidad' loudly as we danced around and put our tree together.

While the girls and Emmett went crazy doing that, I lit a fire in the fireplace and Jasper turned on 'Scrooge' for us to watch as we worked. I helped Alice lay out bowls of Christmas polpary everywhere, Jasper and Rose put up lights on the deck outside, and Bella and Emmett were setting up little Santa Claus statues and such around the house. I'd never seen an apartment so decked out for Christmas before. It was the most fun I'd had in years. Later that evening, we all ended up on the couches, Rose and Emmett on the floor, lying with our girlfriends watching Christmas movies with a nice fire. I couldn't think of a better way to possibly spend my day. I kissed Bella's cheek and she looked up at me curiously. "I love you." I told her in a whisper and she smiled, reaching up to touch my cheek. I automatically leaned into her hand and it was a struggle keeping my eyes open.

"I love you too, Edward." I smiled crookedly and she rested her head on my chest as we continued to watch movies.

**A WEEK LATER—CHRISTMAS DAY**

**(Still) EPOV**

The door banged open and in came in Alice, Bella, Jasper, and Rosalie. "We're ready to open presents!" Alice yelled, bouncing over to the couch to sit down. Jasper sat next to her and placed an arm around her small shoulders.

"_Finally_ you guys are here, I've been dying!" Emmett boomed and his head disappeared under the tree. Bella sat next to me on the love seat, leaning against the arm rest and kicking up her feet into my lap. I laid my hands on her legs and thought I saw her smile from the corner of my eye. I pulled her close and kissed her. "Merry Christmas," I whispered against her lips and she smiled, kissing me again.

"Merry Christmas to you as well," She pulled back into her former position but stared at me with warm brown eyes.

"Have I told you that you're beautiful today?"

"No, I just got here." She smiled and I laughed.

"This is true, well, you look exquisitely beautiful today."

She rolled her eyes but was still smiling, "You seem to come up with a new adjective to put in front of beautiful everyday…but I never get tired of hearing it."She stuck her tongue out and then sniggered quietly.

Emmett stared calling out names and throwing out gifts until everyone had one. "I call going first!" Emmett yelled, holding up his gift. "Then we can just go around the circle." That would put me at last, oh well. Emmett ripped open his gift, which he said was from Jasper, and pulled out a new wireless controller for his X-box 360. He cheered and set it down next to himself before thanking Jasper and looking expectantly at Rose who opened her gift.

"Thank you, Alice!" She said, gently placing the new high heels on the ground and hugging her friend. And we went around the circle like that. Alice got an expensive gift card to a designer store from Jasper and he got a fancy watch from Alice in return. Bella opened a little guitar kit from Jasper, complete with picks, strings, tuner, and a cloth to clean it. My turn came and I opened up the gift Emmett had given me to find a book of piano music, filled with classics. I thanked him and he passed out a new round of gifts and we went around the circle again and again until we ran out of gifts. The grand total of my gift list was:

Emmett—the piano music book

Jasper—a book he'd told me about last week that I'd shown interest in

Rose—a black button-up shirt in the fashion of my favorite dark blue shirt

Alice—new cologne that had a small note attached that said Bella would love it.

Out of curiosity, I left for my room to put away my presents, throwing a glance at Alice, who smiled and gave a small nod. As soon as my door was closed I looked at the cologne for a moment before putting on two squirts. It did smell pretty good, I hoped Bella would like it. I set down my stuff on my bed and walked back to the door. I opened it and paused, Bella's hand, which had been lifted to knock, dropped back down. "Hey," she smiled and I let her in, closing the door behind her. "Ooo…" She stepped closer and rested her head on my chest, sniffing lightly as she wrapped her arms around my waist. "You smell good." She murmured. I laughed and held her close, burying my nose in her soft mahogany hair.

"You smell pretty dang good yourself. I bet you taste good too." I chuckled and she laughed as well. "I have your gift," I walked over to the stereo, still holding her and pressed 'play.' Her lullaby came on and I felt her smile.

"Thank you," She whispered, "do I get the CD?" I nodded and she reached into her pocket. "And I have your gift; it's not a big deal, but I want you to have it anyway, because it's important to me." She pressed the gift into my hand and I looked down at it to find a guitar pick in my palm. I turned over the plain black pick in my fingers and she sighed softly, pressing her face back against my chest, "It's my first pick ever."I smiled gently and closed my fist around it, before setting it on the stereo.

"Thank you." I kissed her lightly before placing my chin on the top of her head.

"Hey, Edward," She pulled back and her eyes were glowing with excitement, "can we go to our meadow?"

I smiled, that would be _perfect_. Beyond perfect. "Yes, I think that's a great idea. Do you have a good warm coat on?"She nodded in answer and I took her hand in mine, leading her out of my room. "Well, it sounds like a plan to me." We told our plan to the others and they shooed us off, Alice had an excited look in her eyes and I grinned at her. I carried Bella on my back down the stairs and to the car. I got in on my side and pulled out of the lot, driving, probably like a mad man, in the direction of our meadow.

Bella laughed her musical laugh "Slow down, Edward, you're driving like we're trying to outrun a forest fire." I rolled my eyes but slowed up a bit to make her happy.

"Hey, Bella," I looked at her and she looked away from the window, at me. "I love you." I whispered and she smiled, looking at her feet.

"You say that a lot," she murmured. Her lips were turning up in a smile and I wanted to kiss her, but to save both of us, I turned my eyes on the road.

"It's the most important thing I've ever said to the most important person." I hoped that wouldn't make her withdraw at all, it was the naked truth and I wanted her to hear it. She just smiled again and I took her hand in mine, kissing the back of it. We reached our destination and I pulled over on the side of the road. I jumped out and went around the car, opening it for Bella and taking her hand again. We walked to our meadow quickly, talking about random things. I didn't even need to catch Bella; it was like she knew the exact way. We did come often enough, after our second visit, it had become an almost weekly thing, coming here.

When we arrived I took Bella's hands in mine and jokingly slow danced with her around the snow-blanketed meadow. We left huge circles of footprints and I joined Bella in laughter. She threw her head back and just laughed. I kissed her gently, she was so happy, and I was so glad I could join in something like her happiness; I never thought I'd experience something like it. I wanted to always be around to make her smile and laugh like she was now. I wanted her to always be around to make my day by just being there. I couldn't imagine life without her anymore. It wasn't natural, it was just plain wrong.

I stopped dancing and pulled her close to just sway gently in the middle of the meadow. "It's even more beautiful here then it's usually is." She whispered this in a way that it seemed like she was trying not to disturb the peace that I was feeling right now. I wondered if she felt it as well.

"Bella, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What do you want your home to be like when you're out of college? Like, do you want a house or an apartment? Country or city? Kids or no kids? Big house or little house?" I stopped to let her speak and she laughed quietly before thinking for a long moment.

"I don't know… Maybe a medium sized house kind of in the outskirts of a city. Yes, I want kids, maybe two to four, and I always want music to be in my home. It'll be against the rules to close the doors, so we can always hear the music when the kids practice. Whether it is trombone in the first year where they're just blaring, or guitar in the fifth year, or maybe singing to the radio. I always want there to be some shape or form of music." She pulled away and smiled at me, "What do you want your home to be like?"

"Well…what you described seems better than anything I could ever come up with, though there's one thing that I want to be there no matter what. The one thing that has to be constant." She looked at me curiously and I smiled. "I want _you _to be a part of it." She looked confused and I took a shaky breath before pulling my second gift to her out of my pocket. I knelt in front of her and one of her hands covered her mouth as her eyes grew wide. I was scared enough and her shocked expression wasn't helping me much. "Bella, I love you. I've never said anything more true than that. I want you to be home, and to be my wife. I want to wake up and see your face first thing, and I want to go to bed with your beautiful smile and eyes the last thing I see. I want to hear your voice and see you smile and laugh every day. I can't imagine _not_ being with you. We can wait until we're out of college if you want, but, Bella, will you marry me?" I opened the small velvet box to expose the elegant golden bad and diamond, with two emeralds set on either side. She'd told me emeralds were her favorite gem, so I had the ring made specifically for her. Alice had given me a few pointers like don't get a _huge_ diamond, when I'd asked her if I could marry Bella instead of asking her father. It had kind of become a joke between us since I'd asked her, that I'd asked Alice to 'give her away' because I couldn't ask her parents."Will you make me the happiest man ever to walk this Earth?" I just laid my heart out for her and I desperately hoped she would accept it as hers like she had everything else about me.

She knelt down in front of me in the snow and stared at me for long agonizing moments, looking between me and the ring. Then she kissed me. She kissed me like she'd never kissed me before. I wrapped my arms around her and crushed her to my chest. But I pulled away again, too quickly and looked her in the face. "Now…now would be a good time to answer," I whispered. If that was supposed to be a goodbye kiss, I wanted to know.

She smiled and murmured "Yes."

"Yes?"

"Yes, I'll marry you, Edward."I grinned so big it hurt my cheeks and I took her left hand in mine, gently slipping the ring onto her finger. She stared at it while I stared at her and tears formed in the corners of her eyes.

"What's wrong?" I asked, slightly frantic.

"Nothing, it's beautiful. I'm getting married," She whispered in awe, "I love you, Edward." Her whole face was glowing and she looked so unbelievably happy. "Wait, I told you not to spend money on your gift to me."Dang, I thought she'd forget about that…

"It's not a Christmas gift." She raised a questioning eyebrow and I thought quickly. "Happy Friday." I smiled and she laughed, and then kissed me again. I stood, pulling her up out of the snow. "Thank you," I murmured, resting my forehead on hers. "You found me." I sang softly and she smiled that beautiful, amazing smile, the smile that made me love her so much it hurt.

"On the Corner of First and Amistad."

**A/N: And so it ends… So, what did you guys think? Review like crazy because with this chapter and the epilogue I REALLY want to reach 500 reviews, or at least around there. We're at 424, so go crazy; I like anonymous reviews so don't let that hold you back!! That's a lot of feedback, and advice you guys ;] How do you think I improved at all since I wrote Trust? You guys told me what to do, make the chapters longer and such! Even with 8 less chapters, Amistad is around 15 thousand words longer. Anyway, check out my new story, 'She Was A Skater Girl' has been posted. Also check out my little website for my fanfics. Thank you sooo much for reading, all of you, and I hope to post the epilogue soon!! :] Review!**


	22. Epilogue

_**Disclaimer: I don't own the Twilight characters or any of the songs used throughout this fanfiction.**_

**Recap on everyone's new lives:**

**By now, everyone is married and out of college. Jasper and Alice have twins, two girls, both are short like Alice but have Jasper's blonde hair; One is super hyper and outgoing (Lillian [or Lily, after Rose's middle name] age 7) while the other is more timid (Mary [Alice's real first name] also age 7). Emmett and Rose have one son who has Rose's blonde hair and natural 'model' look, but also has Emmett's curls and sense of humor (Richard [Ricky, after Rose's father] age 8.) **

_**10 years later…**_

**BPOV**

"Honey, I'm home!" The front door banged closed and I smiled, feeling all warm at seeing Edward.

"In the kitchen!" I called back, stirring the spaghetti sauce. I listened to his footsteps as he traveled through the house, pausing to hang up his coat, and then continuing into the kitchen. He came up behind me, resting his hands on my stomach and his chin on my shoulder.

"Mmm, smells good, baby." He breathed in deeply and I smiled, turning and kissing his cheek.

"How was work?" I turned off the stove, moved the sauce, and turned around in his arms.

He kissed me softly and then pulled back, "It was good, the orchestra finally perfected that one piece that the violinists were having trouble with."

I nodded, "That's good to hear."

"You know what's better to hear?" He whispered, smiling. I raised an eyebrow and he held up a finger, falling silent. I listened and felt my smile soften as I heard the quiet playing of a piano. "Anthony," Edward whispered, "Do you recognize the song I've been teaching him? He wanted to learn it very badly." I listened closer and I felt myself tear up. Edward wiped them away, "I can't believe hearing your lullaby after all these years still makes you tear up, love." I just shrugged and then my hand fell to my stomach as I looked down. "Elizabeth?" I nodded and took his hand, bringing it to rest at the top of my stomach where I could feel my baby kicking. His smile widened and he rested his forehead on mine, still looking down at our hands on my stomach above our baby girl. "My two favorite girls." He whispered and I smiled. He kissed me again and I returned it, moving my hand to wrap my arms around his neck gently.

"You know what, Edward?"

"What, love?"

"You make beautiful babies." He laughed and I joined him, turning to start pulling out dishes for dinner. "Dinner!" I called towards the stairs, and waited for response, which I didn't get.

After a minute of no pounding footsteps on the stairs, Edward walking into the entryway where he could look up the stairs, "Your mother called you down for dinner!" He hollered up the stairs, "You better come apologize." Immediately there was the rush of footsteps on the second floor and Edward came back in the kitchen with a satisfied smile. "They're coming."

"I heard," I replied, laughing. I grinned when two little boys ran into the kitchen and up to me, hugging me in apology. I squeezed them back, "Apology accepted."

"How's Elizabe-beth?" Charles stuttered out in his adorable five year old voice. I brushed some brown hair out of his striking green eyes as he placed his ear on my stomach, listening with wide eyes. He knocked softly on my stomach and Edward and I burst into laughter as Anthony rolled his eyes.

"She can't hear you," He muttered, rolling his eyes again.

"Actually, babies can hear you; it's a good thing to talk to them." Edward said and both their eyes grew wide.

"Really?!" Charles exclaimed and we both nodded. He placed his ear on my stomach again, "Hi, Elizabe-beth," I suppressed another giggle, "it's Charlie. Is it dark in there? When will you come out? Are you sure you can't be a boy? How are you going to get outta there?" He poked my stomach and I gently pried him off, steering him to the kitchen table. Edward laid a plate of spaghetti and a glass of milk in front of him.

"That's enough questions, bud." Edward said, sharing a smile with me and ruffling his hair.

Anthony walked over and crouched near my stomach, "Hey, Elizabeth, it's Anthony." He said in a voice that when he was older I was sure would sound just like his father's. He looked like Edward too. He was like a carbon-copy of his father…without the scars. I pushed that thought out of my mind and listened to what my eldest son was saying to the most recent addition to our family. "You're gonna love it here, Mom is an awesome cook and she has a voice like an angel!" I blushed but he didn't notice as he continued, "And Dad can play the coolest things on piano, he teaching me some of what he knows. I bet he'll teach you too, or maybe you can play guitar like Mom." I smiled gently and patted his shoulder, causing him to glance up at me.

"Dad's got out a plate for you, why don't you go eat? You can talk to Elizabeth later tonight." He frowned, pouting a little, before sitting down at the table, digging into his dinner. I sat down across from Edward and we all started eating, easy conversation starting to flow. "How was Johnny's house?" I asked of Anthony, taking a sip of water.

"It was cool, we played guitar hero and I kicked his butt!" Edward raised an eyebrow at his son and when Anthony caught the expression, he hung his head a little, "Bum, I meant bum," He muttered.

"What else?"Edward asked and I saw Charles pout a little at not being asked a question.

"We played catch with his football and played with DJ."He answered, smiling cheerfully and taking a bite of his food.

"DJ's the dog?" Edward asked and Anthony nodded happily, slurping at his drink.

I couldn't help staring at him for a moment. My baby, my first son, was nine years old. It amazed me. I took in a deep breath before slowly turning to Charles. "And how was your day?" I smiled at him and he grinned excitedly.

"I watched The Lion King and played 'Lions' with Jaden." Jaden was the neighbor's boy; I liked him, sweet kid.

"And who won?" Edward asked right as Charles shoveled a bite of spaghetti into his mouth. Emmett would be proud of that bite. I held up a finger so Charles wouldn't speak with his mouth full like it looked like he would. He chewed quickly and swallowed before answering that he had won.

And dinner continued like that. Edward and I pretty much asked questions and let our boys' monotonies the conversation. After we finished eating I told the boys to get ready for bed and when they were done they could come in our room and we'd read them a story and let them talk to Elizabeth.

They ran up the stairs to shower and change into pajama's while Edward and I did the dishes. Edward sighed happily and I looked up, smiling at him, "What?"

He smiled crookedly, washing another plate. "I love our family." He looked up at me and I felt my whole body relax when I met his eyes. Ten years later and he still had so much effect on me.

"Mm, I'll keep you all." I grinned and he shook his head, laughing quietly. We finished up the dishes in a comfortable silence before walking up to our room and laying down in our bed. Every night we did this, the boys took turns picking a book, one of us would read it to them, and then they'd talk to Elizabeth about who'd be the better brother until bed time at 8:30, eight for Charles.

"So, what are we reading tonight?" Edward asked them when they came in, holding out a hand for the book in Charles hands. "The Lion King? Didn't you just watch the movie?" Edward asked, opening the book and scooting over so Charles could lie in between us. Anthony, I noticed, had stopped listening to the stories a long time ago and since then, Edward usually read to Charles while I told Anthony stories I'd made up myself. Anthony was quite the mommy's boy, but I had no problem with that.

"What do you want to hear about tonight?"I whispered when he lay on my other side, resting his head on my shoulder, staring up at the ceiling.

"I was wondering…How long have you known Dad?" I thought for a moment, wondering what had brought this question on. I could ask him another time, it was probably just curiosity; sometimes I wondered about _my_ parents.

"Over ten years now." I answered, "Longer then you've been alive." I tapped his nose and he smiled, still looking at the ceiling.

"How did you meet?" I looked down at him and raised an eyebrow.

"Someone feeling a little curious?" He just shrugged so I continued, "We met at college, in a coffee shop." I smiled, thinking back to that day; the first time I'd seen Edward play and sing, the first time we'd talked. "You're Dad was playing piano as the live entertainment. Even then your father was an _amazing_ player, and when he sang his voice had my immediate attention."

"Dad can sing?!" He whisper-yelled, looking at me with wide eyes.

I grinned and nodded, "Yes, you wanna hear him?"

"How are you going to get him to sing?" I put a finger to my lips and we both fell silent for a moment. Edward was still reading to Charles, and when he paused to turn a page I sang softly. "_I found God, on the corner of First and Amistad_."I sang it an octave higher and I could practically hear Edward freeze, then, just as I planned it, he started to sing with me. I almost laughed; it was like he couldn't help it.

"_Where the West was all but won. All alone, smokin' his last cigarette, I said 'Where've you been?'He said 'Ask anything_.'" I stopped singing and looked at Edward, who was staring at me. Then I looked down at Anthony, "Pretty good, huh?" I grinned and he laughed, looking between us.

"That _was _good." Edward blushed a little and I giggled, I'd been rubbing off on him.

"Okay, guys, time for bed." Edward stood and grabbed Charles by the ankles, pulling the now squealing boy closer and slinging him over his shoulder. "Come on, Anthony."Anthony kissed my cheek and followed Edward out of the room. I flopped back on the pillows and smiled up at the ceiling. It was odd that Anthony had asked about Edward and I when we were younger, I'd seen kids do that before, but it wasn't usually for around two more years. I shrugged it off and when I felt the sensation of Elizabeth kicking inside me, my hand flew to my stomach.

"I love you, Elizabeth," I murmured, rubbing my stomach. I couldn't wait to see her. Edward was almost as bad as me, talking to her every night before we fell asleep. He babied me most of the time so we'd both be waited on hand and foot, which wasn't bad, it was actually pretty nice.

After a minute I felt a sudden urge to crunch on some ice, when Edward came back in our room I held up a hand before he laid down. "Can you go downstairs and get me a cup of that pellet ice?" He smiled, shaking his head slightly.

"Of course, beautiful." He was almost out the door when I yelled for him to stop. He turned and raised an eyebrow, he looked amused.

"Can you get me a pickle, too?" He laughed at that and I rolled my eyes.

"I don't get it, Bella, you hate pickles, yet every time you've been pregnant you've craved them…" I shrugged sheepishly and he left the room. A couple minutes later, he came back with what I'd requested and I took a big bite out of the pickle, crunching it noisily. That was one thing I didn't like about them, they were so _loud_. I ate it quickly and then had to brush my teeth cause the smell was starting to bother me.

Edward turned out the lights and flipped on the TV, pulling me close as I sucked on my sonic ice. I Rested my head on his chest and he placed his hand on my stomach. When Elizabeth kicked a moment later, I moved his hand to the proper site and he smiled, looking down.

"Hey, baby, how you doing in there? You know, we can't wait for your arrival. We have the guest room all set up for you when you're a little older, it'll be great." He kissed my forehead and I sighed happily.

"I love you, Edward."

He grinned and kissed me gently, "I love you too, Bella…Mommy," He teased and I rolled my eyes.

"Not to you, but I've been told I'm a pretty cool Mommy."I waggled my eyebrows and he pouted.

"Am I a good Daddy?" He whined and I smiled, touching his cheek.

"The best." I answered quietly and his crooked smile softened. He turned off the TV and I laid back on his chest, just looking at him in the faded moonlight.

"Oh, dang, one minute." I carefully got up and went into the closet to change; I hadn't even realized I was still wearing my clothes. I changed into one of Edward's T-shirts and looked around for some pants. I pulled open a drawer in our smaller dresser and moved some clothes over to find some shorts when I froze. There, pushed into the back of the drawer, was the shadow box Edward had given me for a wedding gift. I felt my hand lift to my lips by its own accord as I stared at it. I didn't even know I'd put it in here. It had just seemingly disappeared one day. I pulled it out and silently set it on the top of the dresser, looking inside it.

The box had been made by Edward out of parts from the piano, a reminder of the past, the rough things we'd gotten through. I brushed the dust of the glass and looked in and saw my Chuck Taylor Converse; I felt my eyes well up with tears as I looked at them. 'Carry me with you.' And then my lullaby written on the soles. Next to it, glued in place, was the CD with my lullaby that Edward had given me for Christmas that had been scratched so he put it in here. The shoes, he had said, represented our blossoming feelings for each other at the time. The CD spoke for our love for music, what brought us closer than most anything. On the other side of my shoes were two pictures. One with Edward and I, standing in the middle of who-knew-where with Edward's arms around my waist and his chin on my shoulder. He was looking at me as I smiled at the camera. The other picture was of the rest of the gang, hanging out at Edward's house, just being a 'dysfunctional family' as Emmett called us.

Tears were blocking my vision and I covered my mouth again. They were happy tears, remembering all we'd been through, gosh, I loved him so much. I couldn't even remember what had held me back from telling him I loved him that one night, I'd cost myself time with him and that would seem unforgivable, but Edward…forgave me. Easily. As if cued by my thoughts, Edward walked into the closet.

"Bella?! Are you okay?" He pulled me to his chest and held me tightly. I nodded, pressing my face into his chest. I felt him freeze slightly when he looked over my shoulder and saw the shadow box. "You still have that?"He whispered into my hair. Again, I nodded and I felt him smile, taking it into his hands. He touched the glass, his eyes seeming far away. After a minute of silence, in which I stopped the flow of tears, he handed me the box and I left the closet, Edward following me. I walked to my side of the bed and I set it on my bedside table, touching it gently before lying down on the bed, patting it so Edward would lie next to me.

He climbed in and pulled me close again, kissing the top of my head. We lay in silence for a long time and I was starting to think Edward had fallen asleep, so I let my own eyelids slip closed.

"Bella?" He whispered and I looked up at him.

"Yes, Edward?" I reached up and touched his cheek, brushing my fingers across his lips.

"Thank you…for everything. Two amazing sons and a daughter on the way. All the memories, good and bad, all the laughs and smiles. I can't imagine what life would've been like without you…" I felt my eyes tear up again. Stupid pregnancy hormones.

"Thank you, too, I couldn't have had the kids by myself," We both smiled, laughing kind of breathlessly, "I love you, so much, I can't thank you enough for forgiving me that day. I still don't know why I would even need to pause to think, let alone leave for the night…"

Edward shook his head, "It doesn't matter, you're here now."

"And I'm staying." He smiled, sighing softly and I felt like some burden I hadn't even known was there, suddenly be lifted from my shoulders.

Years later, ten years later, I had paid my debt. I knew I deserved Edward's forgiveness now; I'd paid him for forgiving me now. I didn't need to worry about that in the middle of the night anymore, the burden had been lifted. The weight was gone. The debt was paid. And now we could be happy, truly happy. Because before now, even if I hadn't always really noticed the weight, it had been there. But not anymore. I was free of it, free to be with Edward, in every way possible.

**A/N: And now it is OFFICIALLY over :] Actually, if you guys want and say so, I might do an extra. But you have to ask for it ;] I hope you guys enjoyed reading it, I know I loved writing this. I had fun writing this Edward and Bella as well as going more in depth with Emmett. I hope in my new story, 'She Was A Skater Girl,' I'll be able to write more about Jasper. I want to. Anyway, review, tell me what you thought of the epilogue and the story! Then go check out my little website for my fanfics and my new story! :D Now, for a few thank you's:**

**I need to thank all of you overall, for being awesome readers/reviewers! I haven't been flamed; thank Forks' rainy sky, that would suck… By the way, for you flamers who may be reading this, just a suggestion, criticism works way better than a flame. I'm just saying.**

**Also a thank you to my family and friends for dealing with my whole 'One more minute' crap. I'm really bad about that, "I'm almost done!" Yeah, that's rarely ever true, but they dealt with it pretty well…**

**Then to those of you I spoke to, even just about random things. I got some really good music from a few of you, thank you so much ;] And some ideas, that reminds me, thank you to for the shadow box idea! It helped me get to where I wanted at the end. Again, thanks to you all, and I hope you read/enjoy my new story!! :] **

**Love you, guys! **


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